Explaining Will's life to him

Just Samantha

Just Samantha

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Can you imagine if they had to fully explain Will's life to him?

Your mom and dad were once stepbrother and stepsister.

Your twin siblings have different fathers.

Your baby sister Sydney was kidnapped at birth and initially raised by another woman (Nicole) and EJ DiMera.

Your first girlfriend, Mia, had a baby (Grace) with one of your best friends, Chad. She gave her baby to the woman (Nicole) who initially raised Sydney, and your mom raised Grace, who died.

Your former stepfather Rafe is engaged to a woman who was your great-aunt by marriage and is your blood cousin (Hope)

Your former stepfather Rafe hooked up with your Grandma Kate.

Your Grandma Kate was married to Stefano DiMera, the father of the guy you think you are.

The woman (Nicole) who initially raised your baby sister was once married to your dad.

That same woman (Nicole) was also involved with your Uncle Eric and your Uncle Brady.

You were kidnapped and taken to France shortly after you were born.

You were initially raised as your Uncle Austin's son.

The mother of your child, Gabi, was technically your step-aunt.

Your dad was engaged to your mother-in-law, Adrienne.

You once shot EJ DiMera to try and prevent him from marrying your mother. Your father took the blame and went to prison for it.

The father (Chad) of the baby you thought was your baby sister (Grace), is the little brother of EJ, the man you think you are.

Your cousins Abby and JJ are also the cousins of your husband, Sonny.

You had an affair with a man (Paul) who turned out to be the son of your step-grandpa (John), which makes him your mom's stepbrother and your step-uncle.

Your husband Sonny was engaged to marry your step-uncle (Paul).

Your mother tells everybody your Grandma Marlena and Grandpa John ruined her life when she saw them having sex one night (your Grandma Marlena was married to your Grandpa Roman at the time)

You told your mother she ruined YOUR life when you saw her having sex with EJ one night (while she was married to Rafe).

Your mom stole her own baby sister (your Aunt Belle) and tried to sell her on the black market.

Your mom was once on death row and literally executed before being revived.

Everybody thought your Grandpa John was your Grandpa Roman for a long time.

Your Grandpa Roman looks just like old family friend, Chris Kositchek.
 
Will, you have one of these. And with this, you pretty much have a key to Salem:

e13f434c70172645a61d9229111dc71d.jpg
 
Your Grandma Kate was a high class call girl.

Your Grandma Marlena was once possessed by the devil, thanks to Stefano DiMera, the father of the man you think you are.

Stefano DiMera took eggs from your Grandma Kate and sperm from your Grandpa Roman and created twins, your Uncle Rex and Aunt Cassie, who were then implanted in your Grandma Marlena to give birth to.

Your Uncle Rex and Aunt Cassie are half siblings to your mom AND your dad.

Your cousin Julie is both half-sister and stepmother to your aunt/cousin Hope.

The mother of your child (Gabi) eventually married your cousin Nick, who was blackmailing you and your dad, so everybody thought he was the father of your daughter, Arianna.

Your mom, Grandma Kate and Gabi thought they killed your cousin Nick.

Gabi ended up for real killing your cousin Nick.

Your cousin Julie doesn't let anyone forget it, either.
 
Just Samantha said:
Can you imagine if they had to fully explain Will's life to him? ....
Click to expand...
To all the previous facts, could be added that:

Your Mom hates Grandma Kate.

Grandma Kate once tried to break-up the "green" wedding of your mother and father.

Grandma Kate used to work as a hooker with the mother of Chad, the father of the baby you thought was your baby sister (Grace).

Your father's relationship with the mother of your husband was destroyed when she was put in prison in the place of a convict who looked just like her.

Your mother was really angry with the mother of your husband because she said that you weren't good enough for her son.

Your Uncle Brady once ordered that Chad be shot and kept an old woman captive in a magic sarcophagus.

These and all the other Will facts are just too complicated to be related in a simple sit-down. Will would need to enroll in a three-credit course on the subject at Salem U.
 
And if someone were to explain the version of Sami we have fun with, it might go something like this:

Your mother hates everybody.

Your mother thinks your Grandpa John is a doodyhead.

Your mother doesn't know how many children she has or what their names are.

Your mother thinks she's truly radiant.

Your mother thinks she is the best mother in Salem.

Everyone your mother doesn't like is "stoopid".

Your mother calls your aunt/cousin Hope, the "granny hag".

Your mother, while blathering on about her devotion of all things EJ, considers your dad and your former stepdad to still be hers.

EJ is known as your mother's "smoochy-moochy".

Your mother often writes in to various newspapers to tell them their opinions are "stoopid".

Your mother calls your Aunt Carrie a stoopid cat-finding lawyer.

Your mother calls your Uncle Austin brain dead.

Your mother is a world-class screecher.
 
Just Samantha said:
And if someone were to explain the version of Sami we have fun with, it might go something like this:

Your mother hates everybody.

Your mother thinks your Grandpa John is a doodyhead.

Your mother doesn't know how many children she has or what their names are.

Your mother thinks she's truly radiant.

Your mother thinks she is the best mother in Salem.

Everyone your mother doesn't like is "stoopid".

Your mother calls your aunt/cousin Hope, the "granny hag".

Your mother, while blathering on about her devotion of all things EJ, considers your dad and your former stepdad to still be hers.

EJ is known as your mother's "smoochy-moochy".

Your mother often writes in to various newspapers to tell them their opinions are "stoopid".

Your mother calls your Aunt Carrie a stoopid cat-finding lawyer.

Your mother calls your Uncle Austin brain dead.

Your mother is a world-class screecher.
Click to expand...
The version of Sami that we have fun with is a lot more entertaining than the on-screen variety. If the writers want to make Sami more attractive to many viewers, they should read this board.
JasonDíSpeech said:
Well, it sounds like a lot, but 3-credit Salem U courses only take about 45 minutes.
Click to expand...
Will would have to enroll in a course that offered to "real," off-screen Salem U. students, not the ones taken by members of Salem's in-crowd, which appear to have no attendance requirement at all.
 
Oh and let us not forget a lot of the bad things on that list are somehow, either directly or indirectly, the fault of Stefano Dimera, the man you think you are the son of. The same man who employed for many years the mad scientist who both revived you from death and brainwashed you.

Poor Will lol
 
Will, remember meeting your cousin Abby the other day? It was her fiance who "murdered" you, along with your Uncle Eric's girlfriend Serena, and your Great Uncle Shane's granddaughter Paige.

If your Grandma Kate offers you brownies or deviled eggs, just say no.

You once wrote a scathing article about your own mother:

d0a40a797c7f82d64aa3dea996ad6aca.jpg
 
Will, you once got drunk and trashed your Aunt Maggie's kitchen.

You once worked for EJ DiMera and acted like a complete doodyhead.

Your mother Sami shot a dirty cop who was trying to kill your comatose former stepfather.

Your mother Sami once shot EJ DiMera in the head and left him for dead.

Your mother Sami has had more weddings than Elizabeth Taylor.

Your fake mother, Susan, once helped mean mean, mean Kristen pass off her own baby, Elvis, as your Grandpa John's son.

You cheated on your husband Sonny with some random guy in California.

Your thoroughly Irish Great-Grandmother, Caroline, serves up the best instant Chinese food in Salem.

Stefano DiMera, the father of the man you thought you were, once created 4 clones of your Grandma Marlena. So you better be sure it's the real Marlena you're talking to.

Your father killed your mother's fiance, then he and your Grandma Kate set it up for your mother to be arrested and convicted of the murder.

Your mother shot her teenage rapist in his family jewels.

Your mother once used special makeup to look like a man named Stan and got your Grandpa John hooked on drugs.
 
And you, Will, shot the man your mother was marrying (who previously raped her) and your father quickly covered up, sent you to stay with your uncle & aunt...while he took the blame and went to prison.
 
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