Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 20

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Just Samantha

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Facebook post from Sonny: UGHHH!!! Now Will just admitted he had sex "just once" with someone while he was out in LA. I can't believe this. I'm so upset and disgusted with him right now. If it weren't for Arianna, I'd pack my bags and walk out.

Reply from Sami: You know this is somehow John Black's fault, right??

Reply from Sonny: How in the world is this John Black's fault???

Reply from Sami: I don't know, it just is. Everything is his fault. It was his fault when I had sex with EJ when we thought Johnny was dead. Did I ever tell you how he ruined my life when I saw him having se.... [post cut off by Sonny]

Reply from Sonny: Yes, Sami, I've heard all about the Titan conference room thing. Everybody has. From now on, you can just assume that anybody you talk to has heard about it.

Reply from Sami: Good, because then they will know that John ruined my life and is responsible for every bad decision I've ever made.

Reply from Will: That's right, mom, you tell him. Same thing with Paul Narita. He ruined my life when he kidnapped me, drugged me and forced me into cheating on Sonny. And, since he's John's son, it was really John's fault.

Reply from Sonny: Sigh................

Reply from Lucas: I feel your pain, Sonny. Been there, done that.

Reply from Rafe: Me, too, buddy. Better to just let them think nothing is their fault and move on.
 
Reply from Will: And I forgot to mention that it was Paul's fault that I cheated on Sonny in L.A. (just once and it didn't mean anything!!!!!!) and that my screenplay was cruelly rejected!!

Reply from Jeannie T.: Well said. Now that I'm living right under the nose of that all-knowing grouch Victor, I have to polish my blame-game technique. Could we meet for coffee so I can pick your brain?

Reply from Eve: May I join you? I need to be better at blaming everything on Jennifer and JJ if I'm going to win back my darling Paigie.

Reply from Xander: May I make it a fourth? If those fools at the Salem P.D. don't believe my Chicago alibi, I'm going to need to be skilled at pointing the finger elsewhere.

Reply from Stefano: How I pity you poor, common fools. If you were a DiMera you'd be so above it all that you wouldn't need someone to blame -- ever.
 
Tweet from Sam's Salem Sweep Services: Could your home or place of business be bugged? Don't let your enemies or the Salem P.D. hear your private conversations. Call us today for a free estimate.

Reply from Will: Please come immediately! Paul Narita may have bugged my apartment so he can steal my husband! I know it, I know it!

Reply from Ciara: Do you also check backpacks?

Reply from Eric: Anybody who listens in on my conversations would die of boredom.

Reply from Victor: Sorry, but the K-mansion is as secure as Fort Knox, maybe even more secure.

Reply from Stefano: Nobody would dare to bug my mansion!!!

Reply from Clyde: :rotfl:
 
Tweet from Sami: Hi, everyone. Greetings from Hollywood. Happy 4th. And I just want everyone to know that the troubles Will is having in his marriage are all his husband's fault!

Reply from Sonny: My fault? I'm not the one who's done the cheating!

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP, I HATE you!

Reply from Adrienne: It's all Will's fault. He never was good enough for Sonny. He's nothing but a cheat!

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! You should talk about cheating when you have Lucas's fingerprints all over yourself! I HATE you!

Reply from Justin: Sorry, but it really is all Will's fault.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! You're nothing but a cheesy middle-aged cheat who thinks overseas boinks with some tramp don't count! I HATE you!

Reply from Victor: Don't you dare address any Kiriakis in such a rude manner. I may just have to teach you a lesson!

Reply from Sami: You? Ha! You're washed up! I heard how you caved in to Clyde or Cloyd or Floyd or whomever. I HATE you!

Reply from Stefano: Ah, life is good when Samantha is directing her venom at people not named DiMera. :rotfl:
 
Reply from Jeannie T.: Sami, surely, you must love me. I'm the mother of your stepbrother's darling baby, little Tater Tot, plus I put John Black, whom you hate, into his most recent coma. Ha, ha.

Reply from Sami: You've made my stepbrother's life miserable, you tramp. I HATE you!

Reply from Abe: How about me -- I fight for justice and truth? And I was married to the beloved Lexie and am the devoted father of the adorable Theo.

Reply from Sami: You and your doody-headed cops have never provided justice for my darling, changed smoochy-moochy by finding his real killer. I HATE you!

Reply from Daniel: You must like me, I'm a miracle surgeon who saves lives. Besides all women love me.

Reply from Sami: You? I hear you're in love with that baby-switching Nicole Walker. I HATE her and you too!

Reply from T and Rory: How about us? We bring good cheer to everyone in Salem. Everyone loves us.

Reply from Sami: Not me. Haven't you noticed that there's no room in Salem for cheerful people. They make all the normal, miserable people, like my twin Eric, feel even worse. I HATE both of you.
 
Reply from Jeannie T: But Sami I may be your step-nephew's mother but I'm also your cousin. Doesn't that count for anything?

Reply from Sami: Nope I still HATE you! I wrote the book on scheming so if you think you're going to use little Tater Tot to trap Brady even more, guess again sweetheart!
 
Reply from Lucas: Hey, Sami? Quick question: is there anyone you DO like?
Reply from Sami: Sure, Grandma Caroline. She always used to take care of my children, even the ones whose names I can't remember.

Reply from Lucas: OMG, you can't remember your children's names??

Reply from Sami: Whatever. And if you were better at the hating game, you wouldn't always be drawn back into your hag mother's web or hook up with that tramp Adrienne who said Will wasn't good enough for her doody-headed son.

Reply from Lucas: OMG, all I can say is thank God you're in Hollywood so I don't have to listen to your nonsense on a daily basis. P.S., I use an Oral-B spin toothbrush, not a "Truly Radiant."

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I HATE you!!!
 
Tweet from Paige: Ha, ha! Today, I fooled my rotten, miserable, awful Mom into pawning her old ring! And I got to keep half the sale price -- $5,000! :rotfl:

Reply from Kim: You did what??? That ring is a beautiful, meaningful family heirloom! What is wrong with you??!!!

Reply from Paige: Mom, Jenny, and JJ ruined my life. Now I can do anything I want to get revenge! Anything! :rotfl:

Reply from Jeannie T.: Don't worry, Mom, Little Tater Tot will make you proud. And you should see now that I'm the good, successful daughter! My baby's daddy is a handsome, rich hunk and I'm living in the K-man$ion!!

Reply from Kim and Shane: Where did we go wrong? Both of our daughters are total losers and our once promising granddaughter has turned into a complete Salem sicko.

Reply from Sami: If it wasn't too late, I'd give you parenting tips from me, Salem's best mother. Now the best advice I have is to get a "Truly Radiant" spin brush. Your family may be a mess, but you'll have the whitest teeth in town.
 
Facebook post from Will: I have such a HUGE scoop for my Sonix fans! A prominent Salem resident might be pregnant! Since I can't say exactly who it is, I'll use a fake name and call her Fabigail Schmeveraux. Boy, is her boyfriend, Ken Beston (another fake name) going to be surprised and thrilled!!

Reply from Abby: WILL!!!! HOW DARE YOU??!!! You are such a little jerk! I HATE you!

Reply from Will: What??? I didn't tell anybody it was you. I used a fake name. Why does everybody get mad at me?? By the way, this is Paul Narita's fault.

Reply from Abby: How exactly is telling everyone I might be pregnant Paul Narita's fault??

Reply from Will: It just is! Everything is his fault. Did I ever tell you about the time I caught him having sex with my mother on the Titan conference room table??? That's when he ruined my life.

Reply from Abby: O...M...G...!! That's not even your broken record to play!
 
Tweet from Daniel: Hi, everyone! Guess what? Tomorrow, I'm going to Sal's Salem Barbershop for a professional shave and a real haircut!

Reply from Maggie: See, everyone. Isn't my dear, brilliant egg-baby wonderful. Now he'll be even more handsome than ever -- if that's possible.

Reply from Jenny: Oh Daniel, now that you're with Nicole you do this, but not when we were together. Don't move, I'm coming to your place to confront you!

Reply from Will: OMG, Daniel, this must have something to to with you planning to help Paul steal Sonny. I know it! I HATE you!

Reply from Anne Milbauer: It's about time, snookums, now you won't scare the patients. Next, try showing up for work on a regular basis.

Reply from Jenny and Jeannie T.: Come to work at the hospital on regular basis??? What a novel idea.
 
Reply from Will: OMG, Daniel, this must have something to to with you planning to help Paul steal Sonny. I know it! I HATE you!
Reply from Sami: It figures that doody-headed son of McRuffles would help Paul steal Sonny from you! I HATE him, too! Did I ever tell you about the time I caught Daniel having sex with my mother on the Titan conference room table??? He ruined my life!

Reply from Roman: Dammit, Sami! That wasn't Daniel.

Reply from Sami: Whatever! I HATE him!
 
Facebook post from Jeannie T. to Sami: Hey cuz, I need some advice on how to make my son's father fall in love with me. I made it look like the nanny was neglecting sweet little Tater Tot. You have any other suggestions?

Reply from Sami: That's the best you came up with?? Seriously?? I had better schemes when I was 16 and kidnapped my own baby sister and tried to sell her on the black market. Speaking of that..... you should pretend someone kidnapped Tate and killed him. You and Brady will be hitting the sheets in no time. That's what happened when me and my sweet smoochy-moochy thought our son was dead. Just give Tate to a friend for a day or two and maybe throw his bloody clothes in the Salem River. Cut your finger and bleed on his jammies before throwing them into the water. That should do it. In no time at all, Brady will be snuggling under your covers! Gotta run! Just make sure you use Totally Radiant Mouthwash before jumping into bed!

Reply from Jeannie: And this is why you are the master! I bow to you!
 
Reply from Ciara: You morons! I am the ONLY master in the Brady family. You'd better watch your back JEANNIE because next time you annoy me, I'll make sure cousin Brady buys me all kinds of cute, expensive earrings as payment for my pain and suffering.
 
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