Faux spoilers, part 8

TPTB try to spice up viewer interest by leaking bizarre spoilers.

Kate suspects that Vivian faked the DNA test by having Stefan O. wear a toupee made from real DiMera hair.

Chad and Abigail consider walking away from DiMera Enterprises and starting a counseling service for couples who want to turn their tepid marriages into a state of perpetual raging lust.

Angry because nobody believes that he and Kate now have a "real" marriage Andre considers making a sex tape to prove it. He then calls Kristen to ask for advice on how to do this.

Hoping to prove to Victor that the lovelorn Sonny is unfit to run Titan, Brady tapes him compulsively scarfing down platters of burgers at the Salem Big Boy in an effort to forget Will.

Angry that Vivian has not gotten him released from prison, her former faithful servant, Gus, plots with fellow-inmate Vargas on how to put out a hit on her. Eventually, they decide to contact Xander who currently has no dirty jobs to do for Victor.
 
Worried by the news that viewer find the teens and Jenny-Eric boring, the TPTB try to spice things up.

Hope and Rafe revisit Smith Island and are kidnapped by the resident raccoons.

Abigail becomes pregnant with "Gabby's" baby.

With DiMera Enterprises still short of money, Stefan O. decides to offer candlelight tours of the family mausoleum.

The start of Gabi's murder trial is delayed because Melinda Trask has gotten stinking drunk with Stefan O.

Weary of Vivian's blathering, Stefan O. asks Victor if the magic sarcophagus is still available.

Desperate to get Maggie to return to the K-mansion, Victor promises to be good three days a week.
 
In an attempt to stoke up viewer enthusiasm, TPTB announce that a deceased cast member will return to Salem, and they post theoretical scenarios.

Jenny is sharing a romantic moment with Eric at Doug's Place when Jack comes in the door.

During her trial, Gabi looks at the spectator's section and sees Nick Fallon sitting there.

As Hope sits in at a Hong Kong cafe, pondering returning to "cheating" Rafe , she sees Bo Brady sitting at another table.

As Stefan and Vivian laugh about Gabi's plight, an angry Andre, armed with a gun, emerges from a Stefano tunnel and enters the DiMansion living room.

Brady is sitting in the Town Square Park bemoaning his fate, he spots Kristen smirking at him from behind a bush.
 
Instead of resorting to an unlikely resurrection, TPTB have now decided to go the ghost route and have released possible scenarios.

An infuriated Ghost Stefano threatens to bring down fire and brimstone on terrified Stefan Zero if he doesn't immediately release his Queen of the Night and abjectly apologize for his outrageous behavior.

Ghost Paige returns to Salem to warn JJ against reconciling with Lani. She also visits a shocked Brady to demand that he quit pestering her mother. Brady then tells Henderson to stop letting ghosts into the K-mansion.

Ghost Serena visits Eric to warn him that the word in the afterlife is that Jack will soon return to Salem, which means Jenny will quickly dump him for her resurrected husband. Eric immediately stops smiling and resumes his role as Salem's biggest sourpuss.

Ghost Bo materializes in front of a shocked Hope to urge her to forgive Rafe, stressing that if it wasn't for him, she'd be serving a very long prison sentence.
 
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Realizing that most viewers HATE Stefan O. DiMera far more than Sami Brady ever HATED John Black, TPTB tease everyone with several unlikely ways in which the despised character could be removed from the Salem scene.

Kate leaves a plate of tainted brownies on a tray in the DiMansion living room with a little sign that says "Eat Me."

Stefan dies of apoplexy while receiving the loudest, nastiest Jenny rant ever.

Stefan goes to prison where Gus arranges for his murder as revenge for imprisoning "Madame."

In her last appearance "Gabby" clubs Stefan over the head with a particularly heavy fireplace poker.

After getting out of the hospital and inexplicably escaping criminal charges, Stefan decides to explore Stefano's maze of secret tunnels. He gets hopelessly lost and starves to death. His mummified remains are found in 2085 by Thomas's grandchildren who have decided to earn money by offering guided tours of the tunnels.
 
TPTB conjure up spoilers that turn out to be dreams.

Brady: He's solving his Eve-Jeannie T. dilemma by marrying them both with Victor presiding over the ceremony.

Lucas: He, Paul, and John dressed as the Three Amigos invade Mateo's compound to rescue Chloe.

Jenny: She awakens to find herself in bed between Jack and Lucas.

Eve: As she walks down the aisle at St. Luke's to marry Brady, she's shocked to see that the groom is Deimos.

Rafe: He's in his apartment and thinks he hears Sami yelling at him. (When he awakens, he realizes that two stray cats are fighting right under his bedroom window.)
 
Devoid of plot ideas, once again TPTB conjure up some dream sequences.

Jenny is trying to rant at some unlucky Salemite, but finds that she's lost her voice.

Roman frantically searches the Pub for his supply of Wanchai Ferry frozen Chinese dinners, but wherever he looks, he can't find them.

John sees Jeannie T. coming at him waving a fireplace poker, but no matter how fast he tries to run, he can't get away from her.

Sonny dreams that he's in bed with Leo and suddenly sees that the room is filled with photographers from the Salem Intruder.

Maggie dreams that while doing her Christmas cards, she realizes that she can't remember the names of any of her children.
 
John takes Tate, moves to Canada, planning to run his hardware store. To his surprise, it is open, busy, but he is unable to find the "person in charge". At least until he hears a customer ask the cashier if Ms. Walker is in the back.
 
Hoping for viewer feedback for a change, TPTB float different scenarios in the Jeannie T. -Brady custody battle.

Judge Damon Thorpe finds both Jeannie T. and Brady unfit. He believes Sami's claims to be Salem's best mother and awards her temporary custody to her.

Hoping to put an end to more Kiriakis family strife, Victor orders Xander to kidnap both Brady and Eve and hold them prisoner on a secret Greek island.

The custody battle ends up in the courtroom of cranky Judge Goldberg. After one too many outbursts from Brady and Eve, he locks them up for contempt of court, meaning that Jeannie T. gets custody by default.

Jeannie T. goes to the Pub to drown her sorrows where she meets John Black. They loudly argue over Brady's fitness as a parent until an enraged Jeannie T. hits him over the head with a beer bottle, which naturally puts John into a coma. With Jeannie T. in the Salem jail, Brady and Eve get full custody.

The Horton Cabin raccoons read about the big custody battle in their favorite paper, the Salem Intruder. Curious, they decide to attend the custody hearing where a confused Judge Rose Duncan awards them custody.
 
John calls off the wedding after discovering Marlena has been seeing someone behind his back.

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Brady recognizes the tarot reader from somewhere.

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He screams in terror!

(NOTE: the actor who plays Brady used to be on Passions; the woman and boy in the picture are from that soap, where they played a witch and her doll brought to life - JS)
 
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Hoping to amp up the action and get away from the endless blather of Eve, Eric, Brady, Jenny, Abigail, and Stinky O. McStench, TBTB offer some alternative spoilers about the Leo Stark plot.

Sonny is shocked when he enters the K-mansion living room to find a smug Leo lounging on the sofa and drinking Victor's good scotch.

Hoping to increase the pressure on Will and Sonny, Ted threatens to leave Leo's body at the K-mansion door and then call the Salem P.D.

Blaming Sonny for Will's predicament, Paul rips into Adrienne's son, even telling him to his face that he looks like the Big Boy burger kid. A crushed Sonny flees to his room, locks the door, and won't come out.

A confident Ted is lounging in his Salem Inn room when a glowering Xander bursts in. Ted is so frightened that he flees the Inn still wearing his silk robe and slippers.

Outraged that Ted dared to defy her, Kate confronts him in a Salem Inn hallway. She hits him over the head with her attache case, stuffs a poisoned brownie into his mouth, and pushes him down an elevator shaft.
 
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