Salemites respond to the impertinent questions in this thread.
Poirot
Julie: Why are you so hung up on Nick Fallon? [Nicky was a dear sweet wonderful boy. His weakness was the awful trampy women in Salem: Willow Stark, Melanie Jonas, and the worst of the worst, Gabi Hernandez.]
Hope: Why do you wear High Heels to your job as a police officer? Would it not be a problem when chasing some criminal? [We don't actually chase criminals. The ones we catch just fall into our laps.]
Chad: If you cannot really decide between 2 women, how can you possibly make good business decisions? [Don't tell anybody, but I really don't make any business decisions. Kate handles everything.]
Kate: Why is it so necessary for you to interfere in your sons' lives, particularly their love lives? [Surely you jest. My sons are clueless when it comes to the love department and Salem is overrun with hideous, unsuitable, predatory women.]
Noel
Every woman in Salem: why the heck do you dress so inappropriately in autumn/winter weather??? [Salem has a winter?]
JS
Salem business owners/presidents/managers/etc.: Why do you conduct business in the middle of Horton Town Square, the Brady Pub or Club TBD instead of in your offices? [It's all about image. We want Salemites to know that we have nothing to hide.]