Sami may be gone from Salem, but she's still paying attention to what's going on. Here are excerpts from a recent Titan TV interview held at an undisclosed location. The Tater Totnapping: "Isn't it sad that some mothers aren't as good at watching over their children as I am." John Black's new PI firm: "Steve was so smart to quit that doodyhead's firm. John would have ruined his life, just like he ruined mine. I HATE him. And how can John be a PI? After all his comas, it's surprising that he can find his way home." Nicole's budding relationship with Deimos: "Deimos will rue the day he got involved with this baby-switching tramp. And it's her fault my twin is in jail. If she was a good wife, her orange-tinted doctor husband would have been home on New Year's Eve instead of getting into an auto accident." Jennifer's custody suit: "Jennifer is a bad mother and a doodyhead. Her son was a delinquent drug-seller and her daughter is a tramp who went bonkers. And Chad has to be a good daddy. He's my darling smoochy-moochy's little brother."