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Note: Just an FYI that all these top 10s, menus, movie posters, were done from 2001-2003, and except for the movie posters, the different items/descriptions were done by the Early Edition readers/Days viewers. We just compiled them, putting them in order, etc.
TOP TEN REASONS AUSTIN REED NEEDS A BRAIN TRANSPLANT
10. DOES HE WORK? I don't know if a brain transplant would cure it or not, but Austin seems to have completely forgotten that he knows how to play the piano and used to make his living at it. Does he have a job? He has lots of free time to take Sami & Will places, is never shown at Titan, but does have plenty of money to pay for dinners at Tuscany, etc. Did Victor feel sorry for him, and put him on a pension? But like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, the theme song for Austin is “If I Only Had a Brain”. It does seem the empty place in his skull is filled only with straw. If the transplant works, the old brain could be cloned to create an inferior planet of the apes and things could go back to "normal."
9. EASILY MANIPULATED - If you were his girlfriend, you could cheat on him right in front of his face and he would not see it. If he accused you of cheating, you could turn it around and accuse him of not trusting you. He cannot see that a female is manipulating him when she plays hard to get, and couldn’t see thru her when Sami gave Greta blood after the Coronation Massacre and then pretended to faint! Sami's excuses and lies are more flimsy then the outfits she wears, and he can't see through them
Whenever Sami yells "jump" he yells back "how high??", and doesn’t notice how innocent little Will is being used to manipulate him.
8. THROW MAMA FROM THE TRAIN - When his mom said she was living with "friends" for weeks, it never occurred to him that Kate has no friends!! He is clueless as to where his mother lives or how she lives & didn’t MAKE her live with him -like it or not. He lets Sami treat his mom like crap. He sides with Sami over his own flesh and blood family. What is wrong with him?? He doesn't need a brain transplant, he needs a good kick in the behind.
OK, my DOG has figured out the whole Kate/Lucas/Franco thing, and he still doesn't believe Kate or Lucas have anything to hide. He does not question why Victor threw Kate out of Titan, and even when Kate was taken to the hospital, never checked on her or worried.
7. THE DOOFUS LOOK - That haircut has got to go! Maybe a brain transplant would help him remember to keep his fly catching mouth shut once in a while. By administering a brain transplant, Austin may actually be able to become employable and spend some time working rather than wandering around town with a blank, vapid expressionless look on his face, and the dopey hairstyle. He' is just plain old stupid. i don't mean to sound mean, but this guy has absolutely no common sense. He can't tell that Greta has feelings for him, he can't see that Sami is a manipulative *bleep* and that she has strong feelings for Brandon.
6. DUMB & DUMBER - Can't figure out that Sami has the hots for gorgeous Brandon, even though she denies her true feelings and obsesses after an idiot who makes her son look like Einstein!!!!! : He thinks a terminal illness is getting sick at the train station.
He tests the water with both feet.
Walking through Salem Place one day, tried to chew gum and walk at the same and the old
brain fell out and rolled down a sewer pipe.
Will could beat him in a Battle of Wits, and scored higher in the intelligence test then he did
5. TOO LONG IN THE RING – All that boxing has eradicated both his long and short term memory. He's been hit once too often in the head during his boxing days. The guy is as dumb as an oyster. Brandon nearly killed him, yet he forgot about that pretty quickly.
It would certainly be a shame as well as a waste of any animals brain to give one up for Ausdum oh I mean Austin. Cause no human in his right mind would want to give up theirs for him!!
Seriously though.... he needs the transplant so he can figure out he no longer has a storyline in
Salem and maybe should move to Europe to be close to Billie??!!! He DOES needs a new brain so that he can get a clue about women (maybe Brandon can give him part of his brain –oooh la la, would Sami love that!)
4. NO BRAIN TO BEGIN WITH - When brains were passed out, he was standing in line with a thimble, and his thimble had a hole in it. The wind whistling through his ears is annoying
Even if the operation is a failure & he's left brain dead, who'd know??
The mice in the wheel that currently keep him functioning are demanding more money.
Austin Reed needs a brain transplant so he can talk intelligently with his nephew, Will.
Not only has he forgotten that Sami Brady's one enduring talent is telling lies for manipulation purposes, but more recently his virtual adventure with an "HONEST" to goodness princess.
He's lucky to remember his own name, and as his absence from
Salem lengthens, we can only speculate that he's forgotten where he lives!
3. LOSING CARRIE - Would rather go on the lam with Sami during the Franco murder fiasco then to stay home and work things out with his wife--Carrie-- and to top it all off blames Carrie for all their problems when it was HIS fault for ignoring her and allowing Scami to manipulate him!!! : He has conveniently forgotten that SHE is the reason his marriage to Carrie is over, not Mike. Ran off with his fiancée's sister, hid from the cops, aided a criminal, finally marries Carrie (good thing there), but runs off with Sami AGAIN, & even after he knew that Sami was a conniving witch, believed her over his own wife that Carrie was in love with Mike. After Carrie and Mike left town, Ausdum somehow confuses the facts and makes it sound like he was SO hurt that his ex-wife left with someone else, and neglects to tell the whole truth about running off with Sami twice, not even letting Carrie know where he was or if he was ok.
2. LEAVING GRETA - Can't figure out that Greta has hots for him! Never mind that they both saw each other neakid in that stupid Garden!!!!! Or that he was her Mr. Pure of Heart for her Coronation. He has nothing to do with Greta anymore. He was able to tell Greta how Eric wasn't right for her because Eric fell for a vixen's evil ways instead of valuing her. Then did the exact same thing to Greta himself, due to an even worse woman. He finally finds himself an honest woman (Greta) who he can trust and who would be perfect for him, but Aus-DUM goes back to Sami and forgets about everything he and Greta shared together. Why would any man choose a conniving, manipulating tramp like Sami over a beautiful, charming and sweet woman like Greta?? On the right hand is a hot, rich, beautiful, charming princess, on the left, Sami Brady, who will probably drug him again. He goes left!
1. SAMI, SAMI, SAMI!!! No matter how, ahem, "w"itchy Sami may act, Austin considers her to be a contemporary version of the Virgin Mary. He actually believes Sami has changed. She has lied to him everyday since they first met. He obviously has amnesia. Sami drugged him in order to sleep with him, ruined his wedding, faked amnesia, doctored test results, lied about being in Chicago when she was in Italy with Brandon, and continuously ridicules his mother, not to mention spitting in her face. Yet Austin says that he is "falling for her". He gives new meaning to the phrase forgive and forget. This guy has a warped sense of loyalty. Despite the fact that Sami drugged him and forced herself on him making him think she's pregnant with his child, lying to him once she knew the truth of who fathered Will, breaking up his wedding to Carrie, and the fact that he is totally oblivious to the chemistry Sami and Brandon have, he still stands by her and will defend her no matter what she does, even when she is dancing, cuddling, kissing Brandon and all over him like a spilled glass of wine, Austin gets his DUH look, and is still “falling for her. Get this man a brain, Oh, Wizard! .
TOP TEN REASONS AUSTIN REED NEEDS A BRAIN TRANSPLANT
10. DOES HE WORK? I don't know if a brain transplant would cure it or not, but Austin seems to have completely forgotten that he knows how to play the piano and used to make his living at it. Does he have a job? He has lots of free time to take Sami & Will places, is never shown at Titan, but does have plenty of money to pay for dinners at Tuscany, etc. Did Victor feel sorry for him, and put him on a pension? But like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, the theme song for Austin is “If I Only Had a Brain”. It does seem the empty place in his skull is filled only with straw. If the transplant works, the old brain could be cloned to create an inferior planet of the apes and things could go back to "normal."
9. EASILY MANIPULATED - If you were his girlfriend, you could cheat on him right in front of his face and he would not see it. If he accused you of cheating, you could turn it around and accuse him of not trusting you. He cannot see that a female is manipulating him when she plays hard to get, and couldn’t see thru her when Sami gave Greta blood after the Coronation Massacre and then pretended to faint! Sami's excuses and lies are more flimsy then the outfits she wears, and he can't see through them
Whenever Sami yells "jump" he yells back "how high??", and doesn’t notice how innocent little Will is being used to manipulate him.
8. THROW MAMA FROM THE TRAIN - When his mom said she was living with "friends" for weeks, it never occurred to him that Kate has no friends!! He is clueless as to where his mother lives or how she lives & didn’t MAKE her live with him -like it or not. He lets Sami treat his mom like crap. He sides with Sami over his own flesh and blood family. What is wrong with him?? He doesn't need a brain transplant, he needs a good kick in the behind.
OK, my DOG has figured out the whole Kate/Lucas/Franco thing, and he still doesn't believe Kate or Lucas have anything to hide. He does not question why Victor threw Kate out of Titan, and even when Kate was taken to the hospital, never checked on her or worried.
7. THE DOOFUS LOOK - That haircut has got to go! Maybe a brain transplant would help him remember to keep his fly catching mouth shut once in a while. By administering a brain transplant, Austin may actually be able to become employable and spend some time working rather than wandering around town with a blank, vapid expressionless look on his face, and the dopey hairstyle. He' is just plain old stupid. i don't mean to sound mean, but this guy has absolutely no common sense. He can't tell that Greta has feelings for him, he can't see that Sami is a manipulative *bleep* and that she has strong feelings for Brandon.
6. DUMB & DUMBER - Can't figure out that Sami has the hots for gorgeous Brandon, even though she denies her true feelings and obsesses after an idiot who makes her son look like Einstein!!!!! : He thinks a terminal illness is getting sick at the train station.
He tests the water with both feet.
Walking through Salem Place one day, tried to chew gum and walk at the same and the old
brain fell out and rolled down a sewer pipe.
Will could beat him in a Battle of Wits, and scored higher in the intelligence test then he did
5. TOO LONG IN THE RING – All that boxing has eradicated both his long and short term memory. He's been hit once too often in the head during his boxing days. The guy is as dumb as an oyster. Brandon nearly killed him, yet he forgot about that pretty quickly.
It would certainly be a shame as well as a waste of any animals brain to give one up for Ausdum oh I mean Austin. Cause no human in his right mind would want to give up theirs for him!!
Seriously though.... he needs the transplant so he can figure out he no longer has a storyline in
Salem and maybe should move to Europe to be close to Billie??!!! He DOES needs a new brain so that he can get a clue about women (maybe Brandon can give him part of his brain –oooh la la, would Sami love that!)
4. NO BRAIN TO BEGIN WITH - When brains were passed out, he was standing in line with a thimble, and his thimble had a hole in it. The wind whistling through his ears is annoying
Even if the operation is a failure & he's left brain dead, who'd know??
The mice in the wheel that currently keep him functioning are demanding more money.
Austin Reed needs a brain transplant so he can talk intelligently with his nephew, Will.
Not only has he forgotten that Sami Brady's one enduring talent is telling lies for manipulation purposes, but more recently his virtual adventure with an "HONEST" to goodness princess.
He's lucky to remember his own name, and as his absence from
Salem lengthens, we can only speculate that he's forgotten where he lives!
3. LOSING CARRIE - Would rather go on the lam with Sami during the Franco murder fiasco then to stay home and work things out with his wife--Carrie-- and to top it all off blames Carrie for all their problems when it was HIS fault for ignoring her and allowing Scami to manipulate him!!! : He has conveniently forgotten that SHE is the reason his marriage to Carrie is over, not Mike. Ran off with his fiancée's sister, hid from the cops, aided a criminal, finally marries Carrie (good thing there), but runs off with Sami AGAIN, & even after he knew that Sami was a conniving witch, believed her over his own wife that Carrie was in love with Mike. After Carrie and Mike left town, Ausdum somehow confuses the facts and makes it sound like he was SO hurt that his ex-wife left with someone else, and neglects to tell the whole truth about running off with Sami twice, not even letting Carrie know where he was or if he was ok.
2. LEAVING GRETA - Can't figure out that Greta has hots for him! Never mind that they both saw each other neakid in that stupid Garden!!!!! Or that he was her Mr. Pure of Heart for her Coronation. He has nothing to do with Greta anymore. He was able to tell Greta how Eric wasn't right for her because Eric fell for a vixen's evil ways instead of valuing her. Then did the exact same thing to Greta himself, due to an even worse woman. He finally finds himself an honest woman (Greta) who he can trust and who would be perfect for him, but Aus-DUM goes back to Sami and forgets about everything he and Greta shared together. Why would any man choose a conniving, manipulating tramp like Sami over a beautiful, charming and sweet woman like Greta?? On the right hand is a hot, rich, beautiful, charming princess, on the left, Sami Brady, who will probably drug him again. He goes left!
1. SAMI, SAMI, SAMI!!! No matter how, ahem, "w"itchy Sami may act, Austin considers her to be a contemporary version of the Virgin Mary. He actually believes Sami has changed. She has lied to him everyday since they first met. He obviously has amnesia. Sami drugged him in order to sleep with him, ruined his wedding, faked amnesia, doctored test results, lied about being in Chicago when she was in Italy with Brandon, and continuously ridicules his mother, not to mention spitting in her face. Yet Austin says that he is "falling for her". He gives new meaning to the phrase forgive and forget. This guy has a warped sense of loyalty. Despite the fact that Sami drugged him and forced herself on him making him think she's pregnant with his child, lying to him once she knew the truth of who fathered Will, breaking up his wedding to Carrie, and the fact that he is totally oblivious to the chemistry Sami and Brandon have, he still stands by her and will defend her no matter what she does, even when she is dancing, cuddling, kissing Brandon and all over him like a spilled glass of wine, Austin gets his DUH look, and is still “falling for her. Get this man a brain, Oh, Wizard! .
Brainless Austin sure hasn't changed.