Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 25

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Tweet from the detective whose job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to other members of his social media group, which has now been renamed to "Mock Commissioner Rafe": Ha anyone seen our new fearless leader. He never showed up for work this morning.

Reply from member no. 2: Same old Salem P.D. The big shots feel free to take time off whenever they want. At least crooked Raines came to work regularly.

Reply from member no. 3: Hey, I saw him going into the Salem Inn last night with his ex, screechy Sami Brady. Today, I checked with the desk clerk who said the Big H didn't reemerge until this morning and definitely had the "morning-after-the-night before" look.

Reply from member no. 4: Woo hoo. Later this morning, I also saw ex-commissioner, ex-con Hope on her knees in front of Rafe in the small park near the Town Square.

Reply from member no. 5: Sami? Hope? Commissioner Rafe does get around. To borrow a lyric from an old rock song, he "better go home and make up [his] mind."
 
Fed up with the way his dysfunctional family members have been running Titan, Victor has decided to go outside the family for possible CEO candidates. He has posted the follow want ad in the Spectator, the Wall Street Journal, and on the Titan website and its Facebook page.

Wanted: Candidates for the position of the CEO of Titan. No experience necessary, but the ability to stay away from controlled substances and actually show up for work is an absolute must. Nobody with a taste for trashy women or idiotic revenge plots will be considered. Persons who were formerly employed by DiMera Enterprises or who are/were friends of Ian McAllister, Eve Donovan, Jeannie Theresa Donovan, Nicole Walker, Chloe Lane, Adrienne Kiriakis, and Vivian Alamain need not apply. To apply, send a cover letter and resume to grouchy.victor@titan.com.
 
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Facebook post from Ciara: Rafe Hernandez is a stoopid doodyhead who ruined my life when I heard him and Sami saying they had sex behind my mom's back!

Reply from Sami: Hey, at least you didn't see it like when I saw my mom and that stoopid doodyhead John Black who ruined my life. You lucked out, little cousin. Ooops, wait, you're talking about me.

Reply from EJ DiMera Will Horton: Didn't someone tell me that I saw YOU having sex with the real EJ while you were married to Rafe??
 
Ciara has started her own tweetstorm.

Tweet from Ciara: Claire Brady is totally to blame for Theo's plight. It's all her fault! It is! It is!

Tweet 2 from Ciara: Tripp has the hots for stoopid Claire and I know that she'll cheat on Theo with him. What a pair of creepy losers!

Tweet 3 from Ciara: My bossy mother doesn't understand me. I HATE her.

Tweet 4 from Ciara: Stoopid Rafe took my motorcycle keys. What a jerk. Who cares about some stoopid license rules?

Reply from Sami: Great tweets, Ciara. I couldn't have done better myself. Keep 'em coming.

Tweet 4 from Ciara: Sami Brady is a cheap tramp who got Rafe to cheat on my Mom. Now I know how she had twins with different fathers!

Reply from Sami: Shut up you little brat. You should learn to respect your elders! I HATE you!
 
Ciara's tweetstorm continues.

Reply to Rory: Shut up you stoopid stoner. My date with you stunk. By the way, Claire Black can't sing. She sounds like a scalded chicken!

Reply to Sami: Don't tell me to shut up, you lunatic. I know that you once tried to incinerate EJ and later shot him. I also know that you tried to sell Belle and ruined Will's life. I know!

Reply from Sami: Oh, yeah. Well, your crazy mother is an ex-convict who has turned into batty Princess Gina, once mugged half the men in Salem, poured gasoline all over your stoopid sainted father, and shot kindly old Stefano DiMera!

Reply from Marlena: Sami, dear, please. It's the holiday season.

Reply from Sami: Sorry, Mom, I'm on a roll. I'm going to bury the brat. Nobody dishes dirt like Sami Brady.
 
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Reply from Lucas:

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Facebook post from Ghost Lexie: Oh, puh-leeze. This kid is Stefan O. DiMera? Yeah, right.

Reply from Ghost Megan: There's no way Daddy wouldn't have known about one of his children. Just no way.

Reply from Ghost Renee: Daddy loved nothing more than finding out about new children. He'd have moved heaven and earth to find this boy. Not buying it.

Reply from Ghost Benjy: Why would anyone want to be a DiMera??

Reply from Ghost Tony: So glad mother had an affair with the gardener.

Reply from Ghost EJ: This man better not go after my sweet-hot! PS: Father loved me best!

Reply from Peter Blake: Can somebody please get me out of this prison???
 
Facebook post from Rafe: What is wrong with Ciara?? She acts like I've ruined her life. One day she was a sweet little girl, the next day she's hell on wheels.

Reply from John: Been there, done that. If you've done something stupid that she's seen or overheard, prepare for a lifetime of attitude. That's a fact.
 
Tweet from Roman: All you people who were lamenting that I haven't had a kiss in years can stop fussing. I not only got a kiss -- I scored! Ex-wife Anna and I rang in the New Year with some bedtime fireworks!

Reply from Rafe: Way to go big guy. I just hope that she didn't bring the urn filled with Tony's ashes into bed with her.

Reply from Andre: I guess this officially makes me the most lovelorn man in Salem. If only Kate would agree to having a real marriage I could pass the title off to the woebegone Eric Brady.

Reply from Giselle van Hopper: Roman, I am disappointed with your taste in women, but if and when you want to move up in class, my offer of true love and companionship still stands.

Reply from Sami: Oh Daddy, yuck. The thought of you with that awful Anna makes my skin crawl. Instead of wasting time with her, you should be trying to pry Mom loose from that life-ruiner, John Black. I HATE him and Anna too. P.S., EJ did so change!
 
Reply from Sami: Stick it in your ear, you hag! Dad and Mom will get together soon. Now that Daddy is back in the dating game, it's only one short step for him to reclaim Mom from senile John Black!

Reply from Carrie: OMG, you're as delusional as usual. Speaking of delusions, have you managed to find slimy, creepy EJ yet?:rotfl:

Reply from Sami: Go find a lost cat you loser! You're the one who's delusional. You actually think that you're a good lawyer and that stoopid dud, Austin, really cares about you. I'll bet he really dreams of me every night!

Reply from Roman: Dammit, Sami, stop the nonsense. I'm with awesome Anna and am not going back to your mother.

Reply from Marlena: Sami dear, we need to talk.

Reply from Sami: Sorry, Mom, it's you and Dad who need to talk -- about getting back together. Gotta go, Will may call at any moment to say that he finally remembers me -- the best mother in Salem!
 
Reply from Sami: You obtuse people just don't get it, do you. How would you have felt if you'd walked into a room and seen your mother "cavorting" on a tabletop with the awful John Black. Instead of toughening up like me, you would all have had nervous breakdowns!

Reply from Chad: Tabletop sex? Big deal. My father was Stefano DiMera and my Mom was one of his hookers.

Reply from Stefan O.: It's bad enough that my father was Stefano, but my mother is the totally deranged "Mommy Dearest" herself, Vivian Alamain. Try that on for size.

Reply from Lucas: Hey Sami, my mother is backstabbing, brownie-baking Kate. If she was your mother you might have walked on her getting too cozy with Stefano DiMera, Ian McAllister, and a host of others.

Reply from John: What's the big deal about that table-top thingie? My mother is a loon and my father was a total psychopath.

Reply from Sami: You self-pitying idiots are so stoopid. You've all survived, but my life was ruined by John Black. I HATE you all!
 
Reply from Marlena: Sami, dear, please try to remember that John raised you and loved you as his own. At no point did John, your father or I ever harm you or put you in danger's path. Your father even sent you live with Grandma and Grandpa Evans to keep you safe when you and Eric were little. John DID NOT ruin your life. You did that all on your own.

Reply from Sami: Stick a sock in it, mom! That stoopid life-ruiner has you under his deranged spell. You should be kicking Carrie's stoopid hag of a mother to the curb and getting back with Daddy. And must I remind you that Anna kidnapped MY child???

Reply from Marlena: Yes, under the orders of YOUR "sweet smoochy-moochy", remember??

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I HATE you!
 
Second reply from Sami: Hey Mom, why do you think that John Black is so great? He's so suggestable that Stefano and Rolf were able to easily turn him into the stoopid Pawn. And how weak is his head? One tap on it and he's in yet another coma!

Reply from Marlena: Sami dear, you're being so unfair to John. May I remind you of all the others who were victimized by Stefano and of all the people in town who've been in comas?

Reply from Sami: Oh yeah, what about stoopid John Black slyly putting some drug in poor, crazy Steve's drinks? Some friend he is.

Reply from Marlena: OMG Sami, who told you such a foolish, unbelievable tale? John would never do such a thing.

Reply from Sami: Sorry Mom, but I've got you on this one. The ugly truth will be revealed. It always is. John Black is as crazy and treacherous as his batty father, Yo-Yo-Yo, Yo-Daddy, Yo-Wanchai-Ferry, or whatever!
 
Facebook post from Sami: That Lani girl is so stoopid. I could get into the hospital computer to change blood types, DNA or length of gestation when I was barely out of middle school. What a loser! These new Salem kids really need to step up their game.
 
Reply from Dario's techie, Myron Raddatz: Hey Sami, you sound like a whiz when it comes to using computer skills for nefarious aims. If we teamed up, we could rule the world.

Reply from Sami: Get lost dork, I do quite well on my own, thank you. By the way, I've heard about you. The word is that you make the late Nick Fallon look like an attractive, suave hunk.

Reply from Myron: You shouldn't have insulted me, you obtuse screecher. One of these days, all the money that you stole from the DiMeras is going to mysteriously vanish from those bank accounts that you think are secret.:rotfl:
 
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Reply from Sami: Oh, please, you little dork. Like you could hack me and my accounts. I have the hardest, most secret passwords ever!

Reply from Myron: JohnBlackRuinedMyLife and JohnBlack_is_a_LifeRuiningDoodyhead

Reply from Sami: :eek::eek::eek:
 
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