Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 27

Yesterday, Just Samantha suggested that Pookie could provide better legal representation than any Salem lawyer. As it turns out, Pookie is really still alive and has picked up a quickie law degree from Salem University School of Law. The ad below is now running in Salem media.

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Pookie & Associates, LLC

Call us for all your legal
needs. No case is too large,
too small, or too absurd.
Special attention given to
cases involving canines.​
 
Reply from Pookie & Associates, LLC: In case you were wondering, here are the associates, and we'd most assuredly be better than you in finding lost cats.

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Reply from Lassie: Bet she couldn't even tell the Salem PD if baby Rachel fell into a well or was trapped at the Old Salem Mill. I could.
 
Just Samantha said:
Reply from Carrie Brady Reed: Humph. Bet Pookie can't find lost cats as well as I can.
Click to expand...
Reply from Pookie: Are you kidding? This is big talk from somebody who probably couldn't sniff out a skunk inside the Pub.

Reply from Aiden: Welcome to the Salem Bar, Pookie, but watch your back. The Salem legal community is a real snake pit.

Reply from Justin: OMG, more competition, but Uncle Vic would surely still prefer that I handle Kiriakis legal matters -- wouldn't he?

Reply from Melinda: Welcome the the bar, Pookie, but here's a tip. Don't do any criminal defense work in Salem. All your clients will be guilty as sin and are sure to drive you absolutely crazy before I get them convicted.
 
Facebook post from Grant Twin A to Grant Twin B: Does our mommy ever shut up????

Reply from Twin B: I know, right? It's blah, blah, blah, Kristen, blah, blah, blah, Daddy, all. day. long. :rolleyes:

Reply from Twin A: I heard through the grapevine that most Salem babies are kidnapped. Maybe we can get a better mommy. I hear somebody named Nicole is a good one.

Reply from Twin B: Maybe we'll be lucky and that Xander guy will make it happen. Fingers and toes crossed!

Reply from Baby Henry: Mommy Nicole is the best! Hope you babies can come here to live with us. The more the merrier.
 
Facebook post from Grant Twin A to Grant Twin B: Wait, so mommy's kicking out daddy because he did his job and kept us from being born in a prison hospital ward?? Is she crazy?

Reply from Twin B: Certifiable. I think mommy needs to go to Bayview. You think that offer from Baby Henry still stands to go live with Mommy Nicole after we're born??
 
Facebook post from Pookie and Associates, LLC: In case any of you less-than-desirable Salem citizens think you'll come here and cause problems, be warned that we've just hired excellent security.

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Reply from Chad: Security? That's an idea. We haven't had anyone here since Ben left.

Reply from Victor: Security? Who needs it?. My grouchy reputation should be enough to keep away undesirables. After all, that creature Kristen is in the Big House and won't be by anymore.

Reply from Jenny: I should hire somebody to keep rapacious women like Kate away from Jack.

Reply from Roman: Security, nah. What we could use is a good bouncer. If Ma had had one back in the day, the customers could have been treated to the sight of EJ being tossed out the Pub's front door and rolling down the sidewalk and into the gutter.

Reply from Eli: Hmm, maybe somebody would hire me to manage security. With Lani's Kristen antics my rep at the police department is probably shot.
 
Facebook post from Claire: OK peeps, I'm making this Facebook official, Charlie Dale and I are a couple. He's now my boyfriend because he's awesome. He also loves the Brady Pub fries!

Reply from Sami: Wait, what??? You can't date Charlie! He's my son, so he's your cousin!

Reply from Will: Here we go again. Mom, Charlie's not your son.

Reply from Sami: Yes he is! My kids are Charlie, Sally, Lucy, Linus, Patty, Marcie, Franklin, Violet, Snoopy and Woodstock.

Reply from Will: Mom... [cut off]

Reply from Lucas: Leave it go, son. Pick your battles.
 
Jake: I can't keep it a secret anymore. I'm having a hot affair with Kate!! Lucky me!

Reply from Gwen::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:

Reply from Lucas: OMG. Is there anyone whom Mom won't take to bed?

Reply from Jenny: How could you take up with that homewrecker? She slept with my Jack and I'm sure they're still at it.

Reply from EJ: Way to go bro. Pay no attention to foolish Jenny. Kate was the hottest woman I was ever with (don't tell Sami). Now, if Kate can pry Chad loose from that insipid Abigail (what did I ever see in her?), Kate can score a DiMera foursome.

Reply from Harold: Very good, Mr. Jake. Ms. Kate is a big step up from that awful Ms. Gwen. By the way, is there any way you could get her out of the mansion? She's a cheap schemer and a rotten nanny.

Reply from Ian McAllister: Kate? Good choice. Could you ask her to visit me at state prison some time?

Reply from Victor: Kate? It's your funeral. Watch your back and your wallet.

Reply from Roman: What da hell, you're now with Kate? Stop by the Pub for a free beer and a big welcome to the select group that makes up the notches on Kate's bedpost.

Reply from Clyde: Enjoy it while it lasts. Kate isn't exactly a one-man woman.

Reply from Jake: you could do far worse. Granny sex should not be underestimated.
 
Facebook post from Lani to Eli: We should get together with Marlena and Roman to get some advice on raising twins.

Reply from Eli: Are you nuts??? Have you not paid attention to the behavior of Sami and Eric Brady? We'd be better off asking Horton the Tiger for advice.
 
Horton the Tiger: You're welcome to stop by for advice on all child-rearing topics. The doctor is always in. And, unlike other Salem therapists, I don't expect to be paid with grubby money. You can show your appreciation for my services with some fine cuts of beef and pork.
 
Reply from Eli: Would you also accept a super-sized Brady Pub Party Platter? It includes such favorites as Caroline's famous chowder, Choco-Puffs, breakfast burritos, EJ Chow, Brady Burgers, a generous serving of Wanchai Ferry, and my personal favorite, garbage can nachos.

Reply from the Smith Island Preserve Bear and Raccoons: Hey, can we get in on this advice stuff??? We'd give better advice than Roman and Marlena, plus, we love Brady Pub food.
 
Reply from Xander: Hey people, are you aware that I've become Salem's latest advice sensation? People who have problems with life and love are now coming to me for great advice. And it is great -- just ask the always-troubled Jack Deveraux or the perpetually-insecure Titan intern, Charlie Dale. And unlike other purveyors of wisdom, I don't expect payment in money or Choco Puffs. Just tell Victor how smart I am.
 
How could Charlie get bail? What he'd need is a willing bail bondsman. Here's an ad for the company that gave him bail money.

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Pookie's Freedom Now Salem Bail Bonds, Inc.

We're here when bad things happen to good people. Likely bail-jumpers can be accommodated.
Our satisfied customers include members of the DiMera and Kiriakis families, members of the Vitali mob, veterans of Yo-
Daddy's phantom army, and Clyde Weston's and Orpheus's co-conspirators. Why spend another moment in the Salem slammer. Call us today!​
 
Text from Charlie to Daddy Dale: Uh Dad, I need some bucks to make bail in Salem.

Reply from Daddy Dale to Charlie: What did you do this time?

Reply from Charlie to Daddy Dale: Nothing, but people are blaming me for drugging Mom and tying her to a chair.

Reply from Daddy Dale to Charlie: OMG, your mother. When I was in bed with her all she'd do is moan, "Ohh Patch!"

Reply from Charlie to Daddy Dale: Dad, I didn't really need to hear that. How about that bail money?

Reply from Daddy Dale to Charlie: Relax, I'll send it. Anyone who can keep your mother away from polite society for even an hour deserves an award, not jail time.
 
Facebook post from JJ to Abby: Hey, I'm thinking of coming to Salem for a visit. Any chance you can put in a good word with your hot British nanny? I'd like to take her out on a date.

Reply from Abby: :eek: Uhhhhh, this isn't the time. I'll have to call you later, but you need to quit thinking about our former nanny, NOW.
 
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