Faux spoilers, part 9

DrBakerFan said:
The writers decide that it would be a great idea if ReRon himself visited Salem
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In Horton Town Square, Dancing lady accidentally hits a waiter carrying a full platter of cleared dirty dishes, who spills all the garbage all over the hapless head writer.
the folks in the town square freeze in horror for a brief moment then break into cheers!! and applaud Dancing lady and the waiter......
 
At first glance, it seemed as if Lani got off lightly for killing T.R. Coates. However, a little research shows that she could done better if she'd had a smarter lawyer than Justin (which would be almost any other attorney in Salem). A website had this to say about second-degree murder in Illinois (killing a person under extreme emotional duress), the most likely charge that Lani would have faced: "This carries a sentence of between four and twenty years in prison. Depending on the leniency of the judge and the circumstances of the crime, a four-year probation term instead of prison may be an option." This indicates that Lani might have avoided prison altogether with the right judge and a smarter attorney.
 
Pushing the story line involving Abe running for governor, TPTB float a possible press conference.

Q: Mayor Carver, why are you running for governor?
A: That's a toughie. Ask my new wife.

Q: Mayor Carver, why is Salem always overrun with bizarre criminals like Orpheus and Yo-Daddy?
A: Beats me. Bad luck, I guess.

Q: Why can career criminals like the DiMeras live in Salem for years and never get convicted of anything?
A: Don't blame me. Blame the D.A.'s office. They never seem to know that they're doing.

Q: Rumor has it that you are rarely seen at City Hall and never seem to do much work. Is this true?
A: To be honest, being mayor isn't a very demanding job.

Q: Didn't your cop daughter, Lani, go to prison for murder and once helped career criminal Kristen DiMera escape justice?
A: Technically speaking, she isn't really my daughter.

Q: How could you have lost to a career criminal and an amnesiac when you ran for reelection?
A: If you knew more about the voters in Salem, you wouldn't be asking that question.

Q: Wasn't your first wife a member of the DiMera crime family?
A: Yes, but that wasn't her fault. People can't choose their relatives.

Q: If elected, what would you do to improve life for voters in this state?
A: As I said at the beginning, ask my new wife. She has all the answers.
 
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Realizing that the viewers are heartily sick of Kristen and Orpheus, the writers float some possible ways that they will take their permanent exit.

While working on a new pathogen that will kill Doc, Kayla, and Kate, Orpheus infects himself and dies in minutes.

Orpheus goes to the Salem Zoo to tease the gorillas. He accidently falls into their enclosure and is turned into a pretzel.

Kristen pays a visit to a DiMera island, goes swimming, and is eaten by a shark, which promptly gets indigestion.

While prowling through Salem Park, Orpheus joins a student kegger party. He gets drunk, falls into the Salem River, and drowns.

Clyde somehow convinces angry Chad that Kristen is Abigail's real killer. In a frenzied rage, he pushes Kristen out of an upper floor of the DiMansion, causing her death. When told that he was mistaken, Chad simply says, "oops." (Charges against Chad are naturally later dropped.)

While riding a Salem city bus, Orpheus finds himself seated next to Leo. After a few minutes of listening to the gabby grifter, he flees the bus and is promptly run over by a speeding sanitation truck.

Furious that Kristen keeps avoiding justice, the Salem Bar Association forms a special committee dedicated to getting her convicted of anything that wasn't covered by her pardon. They succeed beyond their wildest dreams, meaning the Kritter is sentenced to life without hope of parole.

Kristen and Orpheus secretly meet at Salem Park. When a thunderstorm arrives, they foolishly take refuge under a tall tree. The tree is naturally struck by lightning, frying them both to a crisp. When John hears the good news, he says: "You don't hide under trees during thunderstorms. That's a fact."
 
Hoping to increase interest in Days, ReRon announces some possible spoilers.

Stephanie drops Chad after she sees hiim fervently praying to Abigail’s photo.

Digusted by the food in Rafe’s jail, Kristen goes on a hunger strike. Nobody cares as she starts to waste away.

Desperate for legal business, Sloan tries to get John, Steve, and Roman to sue University Hospital for medical malpractice. Eric assures them that this is a great idea.

Taking pity on jobless, directionless Xander, Maggie, over Sarah’s loud objections, hires him as the K-mansion under butler. Xander thinks he looks smashing in his new uniform.

Melinda hints to Abe that if Kristen is convicted, she and her ADAs will deserve big raises.

With nobody left to take revenge against, Orpheus finds himself bored and at loose ends.

Jack is shocked when furious Spectator staffers go on strike to protest Gwen’s firing.

A desperate Brady hires the formidable Nanny Megan to straighten out Rachel.

Angry that Leo keeps calling Will a “queen” and “Wilhelmina,” Sami heads to Salem for some serious screeching sessions.
 
Knowing that the viewers hate Megan, the writers float some possible bad breaks for her.

Megan ends up in Rafe’s jail where she’s horrified to learn she has to rub elbows with the grubby Salem riff-raff.

Megan leaves the country in a huff after even Kristen says that she’s not worthy to have the DiMera name.

Megan is so mortified by Leo’s scandalous column about her that she flees Salem forever.

Megan accidentally takes one of her own potions and turns into a toad. Only being kissed by Alex can save her, but he refuses.

When Orpheus hears about Megan’s plots, he decides that she’s an embarrassment to Salem’s criminal class and plans to terminate her.

Like Kristen’s old resurrection lab, Megan’s facility burns to the ground. Did she survive?

Melinda seems to have a solid case against Megan after Bo Brady’s illegal, warrantless search of her facility finds incriminating evidence.

Sloan objects to much of the evidence against Megan, saying it was obtained by an illegal search. Judicial dunce Damon Thorpe admits the evidence anyway, making Bo Brady’s day.
 
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Kate, Marlena & Kayla hide in the DiMera tunnels, waiting for the NBC Days staff members to leave. When all is clear, they sneak up to wardrobe, taking all the ugly, unbecoming clothes off the racks, out of closets, drawers, including the too small, too short, too tight, too low cut outfits favored by the wardrobe dept.

Bundling it all in the garbage bags they brought, they put the scissors and knives they brought along, making sure all the items are shredded first, they haul everything to the basement incinerator, tossing in a few bags, while they go back for the spike heel shoes they hate, and are forced to wear in scenes, knowing no self respecting, smart female wears them in the workplace, especially a hospital, cop shop, not even to go shopping.

They break off the heels before tossing them in as well. Mission accomplished, all destroyed, the trio quietly and discreetly leave, wiping fingerprints off of all they touch, off to the corner bar, where they toast each other, job well done.
 
The writers try to excite the viewers by leaking the titles of some future Lady Whistleblower columns.

Bo Brady Is a Criminal! The Shocking History of His Illegal Searches!

Meet Carly Manning — Bo Brady’s Real True Love!

The Sordid Affair That Produced Bo Brady! The Stunning Details!

Was Little Zack Brady’s Tragic Death Really an Accident?! What Insiders Think!

How John Black Ruined Sami Brady’s Life with a Sleazy Tabletop Tryst!! All the Tasty Details!

Will Hope Stick With Total Dud Harris or Reunite with Bo! The Latest Odds!

Bo’s Tacky Affair with Batty Megan. How a Long Ago Relationship Came Back to Haunt Him! Exciting New Revelations!

Who Is the Greatest Lover in Salem History — Young, Hairy Bo or the Hot Alex Kiriakis, the Man with All the Luv Moves?!
 
The writers post possible reactions to the latest news about Bo and Hope.

Roman: What da helll is Hope doing with Harris Michaels? He’s the little jerk who was once hot for Eve Donovan.

Victor: Bo went to my childhood home? Why? I left that dump behind and never looked back.

Steve: Bo forced my Sweetness to go to some place in the middle of nowhere in Greece? The rumors were true after all. Bo Brady is a criminal.

Xander: Bo thinks he can make his fortune in Greece. Bloody hell. He doesn’t know a gyro from chicken souvlaki.

Ciara: Mom and that dud, Harris Michaels? Little Bo will never hear about this.

Jack: Harris Michaels once had a thing for awful Eve Donovan? He must not be very discerning about women.

Ben: Wow, Ciara’s parents aren’t so wonderful after all. Maybe we Westons are the better side of the family.
 
Knowing that Shaggy Phil is something of a fan favorite, TPTB leak a few possible storylines.

Shaggy reacts badly when Maggie says he can’t join Titan until his hair cut meets the new shorter hair standards.

Shaggy is crushed when he learns that his beloved Chloe is in a relationship with Xander.

Shaggy is furious when he becomes the subject of several scathing Leo columns.

When she learns that Dimitri is gay, Gwen turns to Shaggy for comfort.

With Abe still befuddled and the acting mayor totally unpopular, Shaggy considers a run for mayor.

Maggie considers sending Shaggy to Marlena when he claims that the K-mansion is haunted by the ghost of Deimos.

Eric is more distraught than usual when he learns that Shaggy is getting cozy with Sloan.
 
After Kreepy Kristen drops her complaint regarding Brady's MORONIC stunt and gets Rachel to chill, she gets caught in a thunderstorm and is struck by lightning. When she comes to, she can't recall anything. Complete and total amnesia.

Rachel is upset that Kreepy Killer Kristen can't remember her. She gets more upset when her egg donor won't allow herself to be hypnotized to try to bring back memories.

As people are prone to do, especially in Salem, gossip about her past and all she has done to various folks and think she is faking. Of course Rachel hears this.

She questions her father, John, and Marlena as they all are having dinner.

NEXT????? Feel free to add.
 
Realizing that the Talia character is a flop, the writers try to give her more interesting scenes.

Marlena agrees to a session with Talia, but falls asleep while listening to her.

Acting mayor Rawlings demands that Commissioner Shawn arrest Talia for vagrancy.

Roman orders Talia out of the Pub, afraid that her hair will get in the customers’ chowder.

Hoping to get Talia out of town, EJ offers her a ticket to Iceland where she can pester the honeymooners and Leo.

Offended when people call him and Wendy a dull couple, Dr. Trippy says: “At least we’re more interesting than Talia.”

Back in Salem for a visit, Aiden meets Talia and then says that his dead bird friend was a more interesting conversationalist.
 
Having their budget slashed and slashed and slashed again, Days releases the following money-saving plans:

Emily O'Brien will play Gwen, Theresa, Ciara, Hope, Vivian, Carly, and a resurrected Laura Horton.

Robert Scott Wilson will play Alex, Ben, Scotty Banning, Jeremy Horton and Henderson (wearing a wig, of course).

Deidre Hall will play Marlena, Hattie Adams, a resurrected Samantha Evans, a resurrected Trista Evans Bradford and Dancing Lady in Horton Town Square.

Greg Vaughan will play Eric, Sami, Rex, Cassie and a resurrected Neil Curtis.

James Scott will come out of acting retirement to share the role of EJ and play Harold, as well as a resurrected Bill Horton.

Josh Taylor will play Roman, Chris Kositchek, as well as a resurrected Jake Kositchek and Horton the Tiger.

Baby Yoda will play Carver, Jules, baby Victoria and Nicole's soon-to-be-born baby.
 
This is a huge spoiler that Days has been trying to keep quiet. They've managed to convince James Scott (ex EJ) to return to Days. He's going to play Nicole and EJ's newborn son, who is immediately SORAS'd to a 40 year old man upon birth.

Shawn Christian (ex-Daniel) is also going to return as a resurrected Nick Fallon.

Blake Berris (ex-Nick) is not only returning as Jada's ex-husband, but he'll also be playing a resurrected Daniel Jonas.

Andrea Hall (ex-Samantha) is going to return to play three of the Marlena clones. (remember, the fourth clone died - or was killed - this last time that the Salemties thought Marlena was dead)

Freddie Smith (ex-Sonny) is going to return and play Will.

Guy Wilson (ex-Will) is going to return and play Sonny.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are joining the show to play Marlena and Samantha in an alternate universe that Re-Ron thinks is going to be a massive hit.

And in a ginormous casting score, John Stamos is going to return to the soaps, playing Bonnie Lockhart's resurrected dog, Max.
 
Off topic: didn't One Life to Live have a weird story of people living underground? Same actors, different personalities? At one of my jobs, the long-time employee had a TV and she'd watch the show during her lunch break. I'd wander into the room, as you had to pass through it to get to the other side of the space and that was the quick way. But couldn't Re-Ron to something like that? Every other week we could visit Re-Ron Island and then Salem.

Back to topic, or maybe this is a faux spoiler.
 
Yes, One Life to Live did a long storyline of an underground world called Eterna, back in 1989.


Per Wikipedia:

OLTL took a turn towards science fiction in early 1989 as, through Michael Grande's machinations, Viki and several others (including Tina, Cord, Gabrielle and several others) were trapped in the underground city of Eterna. Alone with Viki in the underground city, Roger Gordon finally confessed his long-buried secret: He was raised in Eterna but had found a way to escape. He met Viki when she was in high school. They made love. One day, Viki watched in horror as the entrance to Eterna exploded. Believing that Roger was dead, she turned into Niki Smith. Viki/Niki gave birth to his daughter, Megan. She had carried the baby as Niki, then later turned back to Viki during childbirth, but Victor had her hypnotized to forget the birth. He then paid Roger to take the baby and leave town. Viki was amazed to learn that Megan, who had been her adversary, was actually her flesh and blood. While in Eterna, Viki and Roger's old feelings for each other began to resurface. Led by Clint, the authorities located and rescued everyone trapped inside just before Eterna collapsed.

They also did a time-travel storyline in 1988:

In 1988, Clint was blinded by a gunshot wound to the head. After a riding accident in the Arizona desert, he regained his sight but found himself transported back in time to 1888, and the old west town "Buchanan City". While there, Clint met the lookalike ancestors of Asa, Cord and Viki (played by Carey, Loprieno and Slezak respectively.) Like "Heaven", this storyline was intended to have a vague ending – after its resolution, Clint would reappear in the present and not be able to determine if he was actually there or had an extended hallucination. Before the storyline was finished though, the Writers Guild of America went on strike. Several scab writers rewrote the storyline so that Viki also went back in time to rescue Clint (who was on the verge of marrying her ancestor Ginny Fletcher at the time). Thus, the time-travel story was definitely established as a "real" event in the history of OLTL.
 
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