Let's see, the definition of conspire is to "make secret plans jointly to commit an unlawful or harmful act". And his is exactly what Rafe did with Sami and Nicole to keep EJ knowing about his kids. It happened that way, no denying it.
I don't see where you are from having any bearing on what one knows about the mafia, because in my opinion, unless you were actually in it, you don't know what the life is really like other than what you see on TV, whether it be in a movie or TV show, or the news. Either way, I don't compare real life to a soap opera, which is by far not real life.
Back in the day, Stefano not only gave orders, he also did do a lot of his own dirty work. I remember his fight with Roman when he went fell off that cliff. I remember him brainwashing John and many other things, that is until the actor started aging and his health starting taking it's toll, rendering him to only sitting in a chair able to give orders. Andre is no different. He does his dirty work, yes, but is also on the phone giving orders as well. That doesn't make them cowards, it's just what the way it is.
Yes, the Salem PD have done some courageous things, but they've also done some stupid, cowardly things...especially bending the law they swore to uphold. Sometimes it was warranted, and other times, it wasn't. Again, that's just the way it is.
Stefano evaded them for years because it was written that way, he couldn't get caught, else no villain for the so called good guys to have anything to fight against.