Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 19

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Just Samantha

Just Samantha

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Facebook post by "Unknown" to Rafe: I hear you're jobless. You need to work for me. I can always use someone of your caliber in my ranks. I get results around here and I'm all about coloring outside the lines. Meet me in the park at 3:30, sharp. Bring me a new iPhone and some expensive earrings. Don't be late because I have a 4:00 Sunflower Girls meeting.
 
Tweet from "Club Regular": What a great New Year's Eve at Club TBD! The distracted owners and that hothead bartender were away, so T was in charge. What a great guy! He should do the New Year's Eve show for one of the big networks!

Reply from "Mojito Lover": And all the usual dysfunctional people who always air their very dirty linen in public stayed away. This meant no Eric Brady. That guy is a walking dark cloud. How could we have been so lucky??

Reply from "SalemBarHopper": And best of all, there was no Sami Brady. That alone makes it party time!!! May that screecher stay in Hollywood forever!

Reply from Sami: How DARE you bunch of doody-heads talk about me and my wonderful brother!! I HATE you!! P.S., have you seen my late-night TV ad for a company that handles septic tank overflows?
 
Soaphead said:
Facebook post from Victor: Remember when I said "I don't Facebook or Tweet" ...I LIED. I know all you do, you Salem morons. I have eyes in places you would never imagine. :wink:
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Reply from Stefano: Ha! Victor, so you think you have eyes in all right places. Nobody beats the DiMeras when it comes to spying. Thanks to my army of all-seeing agents, I know about events in Salem even before they happen.

Reply from Jeannie T.: Really!!! Can you tell me if I'll ever successfully find true love with a billionaire??
 
Facebook post from Will: Uh oh, I just did something bad... I mean really, really bad. Sonny's going to be so mad at me.

Reply from Sami: Will! What is wrong with you??? I KNOW I raised you better than that!

Reply from Will: I know, mom and I'm so sorry.

Reply from Sami: Apologies are for doody-heads. You should know better. Deny, deny, deny. THAT is what I taught you! Geez..... By the way, have you seen my new late night commercial for dog dewormer yet??
 
Tweet from the detective whose job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to other members of his "Mock Rafe" group: OMG, have you heard whom our fearless leader, Abe, is considering to replace Hernandez!!

Reply from member no. 1: Yes, John Black, the Basic Black guy. He's the one who's famous for once having his memory erased and for being in several comas. Unbelievable!

Reply from member no. 2: He ought to fit right in. The leadership of the Salem P.D. has been in a collective coma for years. By the way, how old is Black?

Reply from member no. 3: Probably almost old enough to be your grandfather. I think the head of the Salem P.D. Retirees Association is younger than he is.

Reply from member no. 2: Bad luck for all those guys who have been waiting to be promoted to detective. Imagine being passed over for a guy who's eligible for membership in the AARP. What a morale booster!

Reply from Stefano: John Black might join the Salem P.D.?? :clap: :rotfl::rotfl: I can't wait to get back to Salem!!! :wink:
 
Reply from member no. 3: Isn't Black the same guy whom old-what's-his-name tried to shoot because everyone thought he'd looted half the pension funds in Salem?

Reply from member no. 1: The one and only -- it was a regular wild west show that night over at the Brady Pub. Also, did you guys hear that Hernandez might be running old man Kiriakis's new club?

Reply from member no. 4: Do you think that our old pal Rafe will provide free drinks for off-duty members of the Salem P.D. -- lots of free drinks?

Reply from member no. 2: He should -- we've been picking up the slack for him for years, while he roamed Town Square gossiping, and when he took time off to boink Granny Roberts.

Reply from Stefano: Ah, yes, Catarina. Another person who's on my revenge list! Watch out Salem, here I come! :wink:
 
Tweet from "SalemPartyGuy": Has anybody checked out the new Victor Kiriakis club? Is it any good? If the middle-aged busybodies who infest Club TBD are there, I won't bother going.

Reply from "MojitoLover": Am there now. Everything is great, but they need to screen the customers. That sanctimonious ex-priest, Eric Brady, is here. One look at that guy and anyone would lose their party mood.

Second reply from "MojitoLover": Wait, the crazy babe with Brady has just started a fight with Nicole Walker of Titan TV!!!

Reply from "Mr. Partytime"; OMG, catfight! I'm on my way. And my money is on Nicole Walker, she's one tough customer. Go Nicole!

Reply from Derrick: I think I know who the crazy woman is. Take it from me, people, she's a really nasty witch. I hope Nicole sends her home in a bucket.

Reply from the rest of Salem: Go Nicole!!!!! Kick her butt!!!
 
New reply from "MojitoLover": Forget what I said about the Kiriakis club. This place lets in too many losers. They actually let in Clyde Weston, old lady Roberts, little Chad DiMera, the girl who once showered with EJ DiMera, and some crazy woman in white who looked like my Aunt Gertrude.

Reply from "Mr. Partytime": Dude, that was your Aunt Gertrude. And forget the catfight, folks. Rafe Hernandez and sourpuss Eric Brady broke it up. Bummer.

Reply from Sonny: See people, Club TBD is the happening place in Salem. I'll even make it a Clyde and Kate-free zone, and keep out MojitoLover's nutty Aunt Gertrude. Please come back, I really need a good cash flow here!

Reply from T: C'mon people, come party with me, cheerful, friendly T, at Club TBD, where there's always a good time happening. Remember, I'm one of the few people in town who won't depress you with a tale of woe.
 
Tweet from the detective whose job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to other members of the "mock Rafe" group: Big news! A group of old man Kiriakis's truck drivers were beaten up at the piers. The bad guys used tire irons and chains.

Reply from member no. 2: I just know that creepy Clyde Weston is involved with this. To quote Deputy U.S. Marshall Samuel Gerard, the Tommy Lee Jones character in The Fugitive: "Cosmo, this guy's dirty."

Reply from member no. 3: Oh, is he ever. Should we get down to the piers to investigate??

Reply from member no. 4: Why bother. By the time we solve this, Clyde will be eliminated. Victor Kiriakis won't stand for an attack on his men. Let's just tell the people down at the morgue to expect ol' Clyde.
Reply from Stefano: Catarina, that's your new boy friend they're talking about! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
Tweet from "MojitoLover": OMG, I am so out of the new club. Creepy Clyde Weston, the drug dealer, and stylish oldster, Kate Roberts, just walked in. This club makes Club TBD, even with all its busybodies, look like the hippest place in town.

Reply from Sonny: MojitoLover, please, please, spread the word. Club TBP is the hippest place in Salem. Uncle Vic's club is no better than an annex for the Salem Senior Center.

Reply from Roman: Clyde Weston is a drug dealer??? :confused: No way. Next you'll be telling me that he was involved in the death of EJ. :rotfl: P.S., do any of the ladies at Victor's new club look like they'd like to give me a kiss??? If so, I'm on my way.
 
Reply from Bo Brady: Who is this Clyde character?? Should I be concerned? When I'm done bringing down the DiMeras, tell him I'm coming back to Salem to take him down, too.

Reply from Clyde and Jeremiah: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Reply from Ciara: Don't worry Daddy, I've got this one!

Reply from Clyde and Jeremiah: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Tweet from the detective whose job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to other members of the "mock Rafe" group: OMG, it's official. John "The Pawn" Black, Salem's unofficial coma king, has replaced our old pal Rafe.

Reply from member no. 2: Yes, and he just made his first arrest. He nabbed Ben the bartender from Club TBD for punching out lowlife Chad DiMera!

Reply from member no. 3: Black actually arrested somebody for beating up a DiMera?? He really has been in too many comas.

Reply from Sami: Somebody beat up my darling smoochy-moochy's little half-brother. I HATE him!! P.S., My darling son really does have writing talent! And he can so spell!! P.P.S., EJ did change!
 
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