Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 29

Facebook post from Andrew Donovan: Happy Pride Month everyone!
Reply from Will: Happy Pride Month! I'm so glad we have so many allies.
Reply from Andrew: Agreed! Especially with so much hate in the world today.
Reply from Will: Well, you seem to be on the right side of history.
Reply from Andrew: ...Will, I'm gay, too.
Reply from Will: WHAT?! How did I not know this?! Do my mom and Grandpa Roman know? 'Cause when Sonny came to town, they acted like they've never met a gay person!
Reply from Andrew: I've been out and proud for 20 years now, but, I don't exactly flaunt it. I did tell Grandma Caroline, Uncle Roman, Uncle Bo, and Aunt Kayla after you came out, though.
Reply from Will: So you knew I was gay and you didn't say anything?
Reply from Andrew: I didn't think you'd care so much.
Reply from Will: Well, I just... sigh. It would have been nice to know I wasn't alone in this family, that's all.
Reply from Andrew: I'm sorry. Well, now you know.
Reply from Will: Yeah. So... yay for being gay! Do you have a boyfriend?
Reply from Andrew: I do, actually! Paul Narita.
Reply from Will: Huh. Paul is my ex-boyfriend. He's also my husband Sonny's ex-boyfriend.
Reply from Andrew: Huh. Small world.
 
Word is leaking out about Megan’s bizarre plan to rule the world.

Reply from Vladimir Putin: Come to Russia and you’ll land in a KGB cell.

Reply from Pres. Xi: Don’t even think about showing up in China.

Reply from Horton: Go to India and my cousins will have you for a snack.

Reply from Crocodile Dundee: Come to Australia and little Dimitri will be saying: “A dingo ate my mommy.”
 
Reply from Eric: Stop being such a drama queen, sis. That stuff doesn’t happen anymore.

Reply from Sami: Dream on, Bad Twin. You’re living in a fool‘s paradise.

Reply from Sloan: Pay your sister no mind, Eric. My baby is definitely your child.

Reply from Sami: We’ll know the kid is Eric’s if it never smiles and is always carrying rosary beads. :rotfl:

Reply from Marlena: Sami, be nice. Life here has enough problems without you stirring things up.
 
Reply from Sami: Hey, I just tell it like it is. If people can't handle the truth, they need to wear a diaper and crawl into a crib.

Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene, I've about had enough of your attitude. Besides, we're very involved with seeing Abe get his memory back after his dreadful ordeal of being kidnapped and held hostage for weeks.

Reply from Sami: Big whoop! Who in Salem hasn't been kidnapped, held hostage or had amnesia at one time or another?? Heck, ask your life-ruining doody-head husband, John, the Coma King of Salem. It's probably a blessing for Abe that he doesn't remember his stoopid wife getting busy with Tek Kramer.

Reply from Marlena: [sigh] Why do I even bother??
 
Reply from Sami: That’s right, Mom, you shouldn’t bother because right is on my side.

Reply from Marlena: Sigh.

Reply from Sami: See, you’ve got no answers. And why is everyone making such a fuss over do-nothing Abe? Everyone knows that he had something to do with the disappearance of Tek, that he wanted to cheat when smoochy-moochy was beating his butt in the mayoral election, and that his stoopid no-fraternization rule has just cost my Rafe his police commissioner job.

Reply from Marlena: But that’s not the whole story.

Reply from Sami: Sure it is. When it comes to revealing the ugly truth, nobody tops Sami Brady, especially that sorry sex fiend Lady Whistleblower.

Reply from Marlena: I give up.
 
Facebook post from Sami: OMG, did I just hear that the baby-switching Sydnapper, trampy Nicole, is having my smoochy-moochy's baby? When that baby's born, I'm going to kidnap it and replace it with "Doll-in-Blanket" and see how she likes it!

[Doll-in-Blanket likes this post :) ]

Reply from Sloan: Get in line.

Reply from Eric: What???

Reply from Sloan: Never mind. Replied to the wrong post. Like why would I think about kidnapping Nicole's baby? That's just stupid. I mean, I'm having your baby.

Reply from Sami: Wait, my stoopid bad twin fathered a child, at his age? He's almost as old as Granny Hope.

Reply from Eric: Excuse me, but we're twins, so that would make YOU almost as old as Granny Hope, too.

Reply from Sami: [as she does the math] SHUT UP! I am not as old as decrepit Granny Hope. You are!
 
Reply from Eric: Me and Granny Hope? No way. I’ve got two women pregnant at the same time! I’m a stud!

Reply from Sami: You’re no stud, bad twin, you’re a dud.

Reply from Alex: Yes Eric, you are a dud. You’re going to be paying child support for two kids for years. I’ve had wild sex with dozens of local hotties and there are no little Alexes or Alexas on the way.

Reply from Eric: But I’ll have all the joys of fatherhood, you irresponsible hedonist.

Reply from Alex: Let’s see how joyous you are when you have to pay two sets of tuition bills for Salem U. on your busboy’s paycheck.

Reply from Eric: :eek::eek::cry:
 
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First Facebook post from Victoria Horton: So, how does this work? I've been here for about a week and haven't been kidnapped yet. Is there anything I should be doing to prepare?

Rely from Sami: What?? A new baby in Salem?? Hang on, honey, mama's coming to get you!
 
Reply from Lucas: Sami, baby Victoria is NOT your baby. She's a Horton, not even a Brady.

Reply from Sami: Of course she's my baby. I have had Horton babies. Wilfred and the other one. I was married to a Horton. Mike, I think. Yes, of course, I was married to Mike and had my twins, Wilfred and the other one, with him.

Reply from Lucas: there are so many things wrong with that reply I don't even know where to begin.

Reply from Sami: Oh please, my husband Mike Horton and I were blissfully happy when we had our twins.

Reply from Lucas: You were NEVER married to Mike! You were married to ME!

Reply from Sami: No, I don't think so. I'd have remembered being married to you, a common jailbird.

Reply from John: Wow, and she calls me the coma king who can't remember anything. By the way, did you hear I have a new dad?!!!!!

Reply from Sami and Lucas: Again???? :eek:

Reply from Lucas: Dude, you've had more dads than Sami's had weddings!

Reply from Sami: Shut up! I hate both of you!
 
Reply from Tim Robicheaux: This Sami, she's not one of my grandkids is she?

Reply from John: Well, sort of. She's my stepdaughter. When I was brainwashed to think I was Roman Brady, I raised her as my child.

Reply from Tim: Wait, you were brainwashed to think you were someone else? And she says she hates you? Why??

Reply from John: Oh dad, that's a looooong story.

Reply from Tim: But she's the only one who has a poor attitude, right?

Reply from John: Well, she has a twin, Eric.

Reply from Tim: Does he hate you, too?

Reply from John: No, he loves me, but he's a rather, uhhhh, solemn kind of guy. Yeah, that's it, he's solemn. He also drove drunk and killed Salem's Saint Daniel.

Reply from Tim: He killed a saint??? Dear Lord. Hope he spent a lot of time in confession for that. Anything else you'd like to tell me?

Reply from John: Ummmm, well, he used to be a priest. Oh, and my wife was possessed by the devil.

Reply from Tim: :eek: I'm sorry, but what???? Oh son. You know, I've been reading up on Salem history. Please tell me you weren't involved with that awful DiMera family.

Reply from John: There's really no answer here that's going to make you happy dad.
 
Facebook post from Sami: I can't believe none of you stoopid doodyheads wished me, Salem's best mother who is truly radiant, a happy birthday, or sent me any presents. You can all go kick rocks!

Reply from Eric: It's my birthday, too and nobody wished me a happy birthday. Not a big deal.

Reply from Sami: Wait, it's your birthday, too?? No way??

Reply from Eric: Did you get knocked in the head? We're twins! Of course it's my birthday, too.

Reply from Sami: No, I think I'd remember being born with a sanctimonious sour puss. You must be mistaken. I was the greatest child mom and daddy ever had.

Reply from Carrie: Ahem...

Reply from Belle: Excuse me???

Reply from Cassie and Rex: Dream on, you bubble head.

Reply from Sami: I am so the best child of mom and daddy, so the rest of you can just shut up! I hate all of you!

Reply from Eli and Lani: Is this what we have to look forward to when the twins grow up?

Reply from Marlena, Roman and John: Yeah, good luck with that!

Reply from Shane: In my experience, one is always the bad twin. Looking at you, Drew.
 
Reply from Sami: of course there’s always a bad twin, such as Bad Twin Eric. There’s even a song about him: “Bad Twin Eric sitting in a tree, c-r-y-i-n-g.”

Reply from Sloan: Watch your mouth blondie or I'll hit you with the mother of all defamation suits.

Reply from Sami: “Hah, I happen to know that you don’t know a tort from a tomato.

Reply from Xander: Lord, I hope that’s not true. Sloan’s handling my custody suit.

Reply from Sami: Don’t worry, Xander. All you need to win is a good word to the judge from Salem’s BEST mother. Victory will be assured.

Reply from Marlena: [sigh].
 
Facebook post from baby Victoria: You know, if this mommy person would just shut up, I could get some sleep. Then she could quit whining about how she's so sleep-deprived. Does anybody else around here have an annoying mommy?

[Will, Johnny, Allie, Sydney, Tate and Rachel all raise their hands]
 
Facebook post from Sami: My spidey senses are tingling. The stoopid bad twin has done something terrible, I just know it. Hope he didn't get involved with that trampy, baby-switching Sydnapper again. By the way, when her baby is born, I think I'm going to kidnap it, so she can see how it feels. <evil laughing>
 
Reply from Marlena: Sami, please try to be more charitable. Your brother got married today.

Reply from Sami: Wait, what??? Some bimbo married the bad twin?

Reply from Marlena: Sami, please, be nice. Sloan is not a bimbo. She's an attorney.

Reply from Sami: Big whoop. So are StinkerBelle and PoopyCarrie. Obviously it's not that hard if my stoopid sisters are lawyers. This Sloan probably got her law degree from a Cracker Jack box, like Belle and Carrie did.

Reply from Marlena: Samantha Gene! Drop this attitude right now! Your sisters both worked very hard to become lawyers.

Reply from Sami: Oh yeah, and it really paid off. Carrie can only find lost cats and Belle is lucky if she can find her own butt. Carrie is married to the most boring man on the planet and Belle is saddled with a self-loathing drunk. Neither one of them is truly radiant, like me.

Reply from Roman: Dammit Sami! Please try to be kind and congratulate your brother. He's been through a lot and we're happy to see him settled with a nice girl, especially since she now likes Ma's clam chowder.

Reply from Sami: Wait, hold on one second. She didn't like Grandma's chowder??? Ohhh, this one is bad news. Mark my words, you're going to regret opening your arms to her. I'm telling you right now. I'd **almost** say she's worse than that stoopid Sydnapper, Nicole. Almost. Well, not my circus, not my monkeys.

Reply from Marlena and Roman: Why do we even try??
 
Reply from Sami: Mom, Dad, you can’t give up trying with the Bad Twin. When his ambulance-chasing bride moves on to a real man, he’s going to need all the help he can get.

Reply fro. Eric: What’s this — Sloan is leaving me already?!! :cry::cry::cry:

Reply from Sami: See what I mean, folks. Sami knows best.
 
Facebook post from Everett: Salem is kind of a weird place. I went to Julie's Place for lunch. The owner, Julie, kept calling me her darling Nicky, then she said my meal was on the house, forever. Is this normal? Are people ever mistaken for others?

Reply from Roman: For some reason, people mistake me for my old pal, Chris Kositchek.

Reply from Theresa: Lately, people have been calling me Gwennie T.

Reply from Ava: Sometimes Nicole Walker calls me Taylor.

Reply from Alex: I often get confused with my cousin Ciara's husband, Necktie Killer, Ben Weston, which is stupid, because I'm so much better looking.

Reply from Hattie: People think I'm Dr. Marlena Evans, but that's OK. She's married to that silver fox, John Black. I wouldn't mind spending some time with him, if you know what I mean.

Reply from Bonnie: I get mixed up with Adrienne Kiriakis. Sometimes Justin gets carried away and utters her name when we're getting busy, if you know what I mean, wink wink. :)

Reply from Hope: I've been mistaken for Princess Gina a time or two.

Reply from Rex: I get called Brady Black all the time. I think I'm much more attractive than Brady. Just ask Sarah. OK, bad choice, since she prefers Xander. But ask Mimi Lockhart or Noel Curtis. They think I'm quite studly.
 
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