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DRINKS
VIRGIN GRETA A delightful and refreshing before dinner drink. As it’s name suggests, is non-alcoholic, bland, and boring. Comes in a souvenir crystal glass with a crown etched on the side. One part grenadine, two parts swamp water & of course, a red, ripe, Maraschino cherry.
STEFANO'S MIND ERASER 1 part beautiful/handsome , 1 part thief/pawn, and 1 part oblivion. Best when drank "Two Thousand Leagues Under the Sea".
MARLENA'S QUEEN OF THE NIGHT Starts out strong, "shrinks" and becomes weak over time.
APPETIZERS
STEFANO'S SAMPLER Featuring ... mind-altering meatballs and amnesia artichokes (sorry, no hearts). Served with "bring-you-back-from-the-dead" hot sauce for dipping. WARNING: Please only one per customer - may cause you to "Rolf".MIMI'S SCAPEGOAT SURPRISE Made entirely of goat cheese, this dish will leave a taste in your mouth like no other. Also served with a side of whine, this dish is served with bell-shaped crackers and crab dip. If you don't love anything else on our menu, try this dish. It will make your hair stand on end!
HENDERSON'S VIAGRA SOUFFLE Keeps all the 25 yr olds wanting you!
MARLENA'S DEVILED EGGS So good you swear you’ve been possessed!
SAUTEED SWEETBREADS ALA AUSTIN At last we know what became of his brain ;-)
SALADS/VEGETABLES
CELESTE'S PSYCHIC SALAD It has a bad feeling about you and knows you're going to order it before you do. NIK'S SLEAZY-EASY SALAD Fast, easy and no dressing included
SAMI STEAMED ASPARAGUS (Hot Headed like Sami and shaped like little daggers)
MARLENA & HATTIE'S PEAS IN A POD
MAIN COURSE
KATE'S TITANIC COMBO This meal stops at nothing to make you feel full! Confused by what's what? This dish is for you...from Texan Lamb Chops to Shrimp Scami, this dish lets you sample a little of everything. Also served with Phil's Filet of Fish, Lucas Turn-overs, Billie Buns, a bowl of Roman Noodle Soup, and our special side dish that need not speak for itself...Will's Wall-eye Nuggets. And for dessert, our famous Vivian Vendetta. The beverage served with this meal is a Walker milkshake, which is beaten into a pulp. We think this dish will make you feel Victorious!
DINNER FOR TWO - ala Doug & Julie... with a distinctly Continental flavor
Italian wine, French bread, German cheese, Greek salad, English Roast Beef with Plum pudding...... Swiss chocolate cheesecake for dessert.
SHRIMP SCAMI Thrown over angelhair pasta, this dish consists of raw shrimp hidden in thick, yellow crab sauce, garnished with croutons dipped in non-virgin oil.
TEXAN LAMB CHOPS
Straight from Austin, this dish is easy on the eyes, yet will make your head spin! Consists of rack of lamb and baby back ribs, this dish is nothing special, yet mighty tasty. Surprisingly enough, this dish is very popular with the ladies, as the brains behind the dish are like the side of rye bread...has a little taste, takes up space to make you feel full, but really has very little value to the meal.
LEXIE'S BABY BACK RIBS You may end up with your neighbor’s order, but with the help of your father, no one will ever know!
DESSERTS
The Marlena Evans Strawberries and Whipped Cream Extravaganza A favorite of many Salemites. We start with fresh berries, carefully washed and cut. Then comes a bowl of the creamiest and thickest whipped cream known to man. This treat must be eaten properly, in order to get every nuance of pleasure. Make sure to dip the fruit slowly, erotically, and then rub the tip of the berry on your lover’s lips seductively. You can even dab their little nosy wosy with the tip of the berry, plopping a dollop of whipped cream on their nose. Remember, Marlena does it this way, and so perfectly, too. Cream Puff-a-la-Austin
Alice's Angel food Cake
Abe's Forbidden Apple pie
Sami's Birthday Surprise -(by special order only) Complete with champagne and her Marilyn Monroe version of Happy BirthdayNICOLE'S BOUNTIFUL SUNDAY BUFFET -
Come and see her spread!
Poirot, thank you so much for pulling this out of the Early Edition archives. I laughed as hard now as I did when they were first posted.