Prayers needed

Another thought regarding teenagers to help. It looks like Fort Smith has the University of Arkansas at Fort Smith. College kids may want to make some money helping to haul away. https://uafs.edu/about/ They also have fraternities there and maybe they would have people who could help.

https://uafs.edu/student-life/fraternities-sororities/index.php

Also Trail Life, similar to Boy Scouts, has a Fort Smith troop. The older members or the troop leader may be able to help. (479) 806-8711
 
Thanks so much for the help BoandHope. I sent email to someone with SCA.

This week, I need to get lawyer for sure. Person I got number for said no one can
answer phone now. Are the phones down?

My brother's next door neighbor wrote me back this morning. Dumpster is out
because no drivers to deliver them.
 
Can you talk directly to the owner of the property or building manager and ask who they use to empty an apartment when a renter has died, or left behind a ton of stuff, or a mess? Unless the owner is new to owning rental property, they're going to know of someone (or company) to call to do a clean out. It's doubtful this is the first time it's happened to the owner/building manager.
 
He's going to eventually know how bad it is inside.

At the least, can you go with garbage bags and just start bagging stuff to be pitched, set them aside, clear a path, sort out things you and your son might want, to get the ball rolling? (after you use the bug bombs; once you set them off, you only have to leave the apartment for about an hour).
 
katmouse said:
Thanks so much for the help BoandHope. I sent email to someone with SCA.
Click to expand...
You're welcome! It looks like the SCA Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/Smythkepe/ so if you're on Facebook, you might try sending them a message there too.

There seems to be a separate page that's a private group and there's no place to message them but if you try joining the group maybe there would be a place for comments and you could ask someone to get in touch with you. https://www.facebook.com/groups/274201989333632/
 
Oh@katmouse, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry you are burdened with all of this as well, it certainly makes the grieving process more difficult. I'll definitely keep praying you through it. I wish so much I can help, seems lots of great suggestions are already mentioned. If I think of anything, I'll reach out. ::hugs::
 
The thing is, If there are roaches in one apt.........they spread to others as well, thru the walls, ductwork, etc. There can be eggs laid, so bug bombing the whole place before removing anything for personal use is practically mandatory.

The suggestion to bag items in heavy duty garbage bags to be disposed of later sounds good. Eventually someone with a pickup could possibly load some and take to disposal site.
 
I think we should ALL think about what Kat is going through and use it as a positive thing as well. Look at your own house, how much "junk" do you have, is everything of value listed somewhere, are there things of value that you could donate to local charity garage sales or thrift shops. If so, mark them as such. Or, better yet, if you don't need them, get rid of them.

I recently purged many things from my house and gave to a local church garage sale for their mission team who goes and builds houses in Guatamala each year. They will give you letter (if you ask) to use as a donation on your tax return.

I DO really support going through church groups or scouting of any kind to help. Many youth would like to go to summer camps but can't afford it. By donating items and getting the letter from them or having them do the work and donating to their organization gives the youth a chance to serve their community (which CAN them credit toward badges or camps, give you a donation deduction on your taxes and help in so many ways.

These groups usually have adult leaders who help with the project. My husband and I were involved in Scouting for years and this is how they earned community service hours and were able to get donations for their programs.

Continued prayers throughout all this.
 
katmouse, I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Cleaning out a house is never easy even when things are clean and in good condition. Poirot is spot on about a dumpster. When we moved out of our home of 39 years, we managed to fill a dumpster with the contents of the attic and basement. As for furniture, based on cleaning out my parents' home, it can be put in a dumpster, left at the curb for sanitation, or donated. Finally, if your brother left a will, an attorney can get it probated. If he didn't, he/she can get the intestate process moving.
 
@katmouse I noticed your post in the Donuts group about needing access to your brother's money to hire somebody to help. I would like to mention that Trail Life is a Christian-based organization so it could be that they would do your project as a community service rather than charging you. It certainly wouldn't hurt to ask. You could try getting in touch with area churches to see if they had volunteers who would be willing to do it for free. Also, you should be able to get reimbursement from your brother's estate for any expenses, though I know that can take a while.

One other thing I thought about was that you might consider having some way to differentiate the storage for items you want to keep versus items you want to throw away. For example, items to throw away could go in big garbage bags. Items to save could go in clearly marked boxes or plastic storage bins. I know with so many things to deal with, and potentially with having helpers, it might prevent somebody from throwing away something you wanted to save. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience :)).
 
My cousin said when you have things ready for donation (if you have anything you want to donate) that you can call

The Habitat for Humanity Restore there for pick up at 479-782-8255. She also said Salvation Army sometimes does pick ups. You can call them at 479-551-2069.

She’s going to message me some more info and I’ll give it to you when I get home later.
 
Kat, so sorry for your loss and the situation you are facing. I was recently doing a decluttering attempt and rented a dumpster from the city. They drop it off and pick it up when you are done. In my case, it is a rental for one month. I had done it a few years ago and they were very reasonably priced. This time, it was about $150 for a small-medium dumpster. I was able to get a lot in it and they picked it up right away. They parked it in my driveway.
 
I’m sorry for your loss. That’s really tough to deal with.

I’m not sure how packed or unwieldy the apartment is or it’s dirty or just cluttered, but I would suggest being very clear-minded with a list of what you’d expect or hope to find and keep. What mementos might you want? What valuables do you expect? If you can move around in the apartment, do the bug bomb, go in with purpose, and get what you are willing to take and keep in your own home or can drop at a donation center within a couple of days. Leave the rest for the landlord to deal with. There’s absolutely no shame in that. You can offer money to help, but an apartment complex will be able to clear the place for cheaper than you. Management companies do this all the time. And it’s not your responsibility.

I’ve hired junk people, and to haul a few things away (less than a 1/4 of a small truck) was a couple hundred dollars. That was a few years ago and just for loading and hauling what I’d already set aside. Those things aren’t cheap.

Also - my ex-sister-in-law had to clear her mother’s small home, and truthfully, very little was worth saving. She was a hoarder. If it has bugs or mold, it’s more trouble for a donation center to sift through than it is helpful. So don’t feel bad about letting anything go if you’re undecided. And it was a ton of work to do a garage sale for people to come through and offer 50 cents for items. I would leave it to the landlord to fuss with dumpsters and disposal of items you know aren’t usable or easily sanitized like dishes or non-porous items. It’s one of the pros of renting.

You’ll do your best, but consider your health—mental and physical—above all else.
 
It's 1:30 AM Central time. I've been awake for an hour.

Yesterday morning, I went to couch for awhile to sleep. I did that a long time after my
mom died. I'll have to probably call doctor soon for help.

Even with the help I'm getting I keep waking up and can't get back to sleep. Why oh why?
 
It is hard to turn your brain off. Even doing the breathing relaxation techniques you can't find peace. When I have trouble sleeping.i put on headphones or ear buds and listen to either a book I know by heart or music that I know well. Sometimes having it in my ears is the distraction I need to fall asleep.
 
thanks, robin.

I got back to sleep maybe before 3. A few mornings, I got angry and upset. I told myself I can't do
that again. And I know I can't sleep on couch. It took a long time to stop that. I put on rain sound
one time I woke up, that didn't help. And the crazy temps don't help either. Warm today and Thurs.
Back in the 60s after that. What do you wear to bed?
 
I’ve had anxiety dreams and sleep disruption when stressed. You can try quality CBD oil or chamomile extract (supplements, stronger than the tea). I find listening to sleep meditations on YouTube super helpful. Even if I couldn’t sleep, there’s benefits to closing your eyes, reducing stimulation, and relaxing.
 
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