Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 6

Xander: Sarah now seems to think that I’m a better guy because Susan miraculously survived. It makes no sense, but I’ll take it.

Belle: Shawn cheated on me, Shawn cheated on me, Shawn cheated on me ….

Sloan: Eric has his shorts in a knot because I’m representing Xander? It must be because he’s unfamiliar with the concept of earning a living.

Brady: Rachel’s a brat and now Tater Tot’s a feckless loser. I should have raised both of those kid all by myself.

Susan: OMG, Edmund Crumb turned out to be a real crumb. It makes me really appreciate Roger.

Talia: Whatever made me think that coming to Salem was a good idea?

Harris: Forget Batman. I’m the real action hero. Yay me!

Maggie: Maybe I’m getting suspicious, but I can’t help wondering if this Konstantin is an old grifter who knew my Victor back in the day.

Edmund: Perhaps, it’s better that Susan escaped. I really don’t have any more room in the back garden to bury my murder victims.
 
Last edited:
EJ: I’d hate to think that Holly isn’t as angelic as I thought.

Eric: Sloan always act so nervous around the baby. What gives?

Sloan: Why did I ever listen to Melinda? The stress of the baby thing is killing me.

Steve: Are we losing our touch? By now that creep Konstantin should have fled town, but he’s still here.

Trippy: Maybe China wouldn’t be so bad. I hear you can get Wanchai Ferry dumplings there.

Tater Tot: Why didn’t I behave in boarding school? I had a good deal there.

Leo: I hope Dimitri will be able to read my Whistleblower columns in prison. They will keep up his morale.

Maggie: Why are Steve and John so down on Konstantin? He seems so charming.

Harris: People won’t think I’m dull after I break up Salem’s drug ring.

Everett: I bet that foolish lover boy, Alex, never imagined that I’d win the battle for Stephanie’s affections.

Drug Dealer Holtzenkamp: Why would anyone think I’d turn on Clyde? It would be suicide.
 
Xander: Should I cut off Konstantin’s head with my cool Scottish broadsword or simply break his neck?

Ava: OMG, why did I use my good wine to get drunk with Stefan?

Eric: My soul is probably doomed. I’ve committed so many depraved sins with Sloan that divine forgiveness seems unlikely.

Everett: Wow, I’ve bedded Stephanie! Was it my charm or the power of my handsome beard?

Harris: I want a raise. How many Salem cops have ever pulled off a successful drug raid?

Lucas: Listening to preachy Mom and bossy Harris is almost as bad as being in prison with Clyde and his thugs.

Konstantin: is John even worth having as a pawn?

Chad: I wonder if other people find me as boring as I find myself?
 
Stephanie: Everett’s beard is so scratchy. Should I suggest he shave?

Salem fireman: The Horton house is on fire? Rats. Just when I was about to win a good poker hand.

Everett: Thank God for my beard. Otherwise, I’d look just like Nick Fallon.

EJ: Thank God for my beard. At last I look like a serious person, just like Father.

Clyde: Why don’t those pesky Salemites just let me sell my drugs?

Ben: I wonder what my awful father is up to now?

Zero: I’m so sick of people telling me how much they love “my” Liberty Mutual commercials.

LiMu emu: I’m so tired of people asking what it’s like to work with a DiMera.

Harris: OMG, I’ve been shot. Now I’ll have to do those boring scenes where I lie in a hospital bed with a tube up my nose.
 
Reply from Substitute Doug: Poor “Doog,” he can’t face the fact that he’s not as handsome as I am or that Biboo likes me better. By the way, people like Wendy, Chanel, and Ava all prefer me to their mundane boyfriends. Unfortunately for them, I like Biboo bettter than any Salem woman.
 
Last edited:
Jude: I like Uncle Leo much better than stupid Mommy Sloan. She can go kick rocks.

Holly: Should I come clean about the drugs? Nahhhh, what's the worst that can happen?

Julie: I should probably check on Julie's Place. Do I even still own it?

Sami: So my stoopid bad twin is back to photography? Hmmmm, I bet that kid of his could take better pictures with a Fisher Price Click-o-matic.
 
Sloan: Parenthood is vastly overrated. And I don’t think that kid even likes me.

Tate: All my problems are caused by stupid EJ’s rush to judgment. Stefano really did have dumb children.

Paulina: People in the hospital are always praising somebody named Maxine. If Abraham regains his memory, will he dump me for her?

Rafe: I need to speak to the personnel department about hiring practices. instead of catching criminals, Jada just rants about Bobby/Everett and now Goldman has run off with fugitive Clyde. We must be more careful with our hires.

Stefan: OMG, if Harris talks I might be going down for attempted murder! Nah, can’t happen. We DiMeras always avoid prison one way or another.

Gus: Wow, Clyde’s been broken out of here. Why can’t madame use her money and influence to get me out too?
 
Xander: I’m so glad that I wear cheap exercise pants,

Jada: If I ever find the clerk who didn’t record my divorce, I’ll wring his neck.

Ava: I hate to admit it, but being with Harris isn’t nearly as exciting as being with Parch.

Trippy: Is it my imagination or do people find Wendy and I to be a dull couple.

Everett: OMG, I’m still married to Jada. I wonder if she’d like to give our marriage a second chance.

Steve: Being near Konstantin makes feel as though I have lice.

EJ: What rotten luck. I really wanted to send annoying Brady’s kid to reform school.

Johnny: I wouldn’t tell Chanel, but I find baking messy and mind numbing.

Nicole: I had an awful father and wretched husbands, and now have a problem daughter. Maybe, I should have stuck to dogs.
 
Stephanie: I'm not sure which was worse, the terror of Owen Kent or the terror of Everett’s beard.

Tate: Everyone is against me and Holly, but they don't understand that she has changed!! Nobody's ever said or heard that before, I bet!

Goldman: Clyde gives the best smooches. I'm sure I'll never be on the wrong end of his wrath.

Kayla: There! I've finally completed all the paperwork to hire a new doctor who will deal solely with Paulina Price. She's the best patient in the world and has more maladies per minute than our measly 1½ full-time physicians can handle.
 
EJ: I am the great almighty DA Elvis. He who crosses me is doomed.

Smith Island plow driver: What made that idiot mayor think she could drive a plow. She could have killed herself and anyone else in the vicinity.

Everett: If I keep stonewalling Jada, maybe she’ll just go away.

Smith Island raccoons: Those foolish invaders weren’t attacked only because they were stuck in OUR cabin by a snowstorm.

Thomas: I never should have given that old grouch the card.

Xander: Mags agreed to marry the creep? I’d better call Doc Evans about an intervention.

Jack: That Paulina is a pretty poor mayor. It’s time for me to gloriously return and save the city. Should I repeat my falling-into-a-cake stunt?

John: Oh the guilt, the guilt. How can I cope?

Tater Tot: I know that Holly is a head case, but she’s the only girl in town who’s my age.

Alex: Sleep with Granny Kristen? What a horrid thought — or maybe not.
 
ad805a0768bb3dd92b896d6f45afb7ea.jpg


Doll-in-Blanket: What is this utter nonsense that they're replacing me with a sound effect these days?? What a bunch of b/s. I am NOT happy about this.
 
Reply from Folded Blanket: Hey DIB, I’d love to give your job back. Playing Baby Jude or some other noisy infant is a real comedown from my proper roles — an extra in steamy sex scenes or keeping Salemites warm on cold winter nights. My present plight is akin to having John, Steve, or Xander wash dishes in the Pub.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top