Re-Ron’s Re-Runs [Fake Spoilers]

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JasonDíSpeech

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Ron Carlivati, head writer for Days of Our Lives, affectionately dubbed with the sobriquet “Re-Ron,” is getting so much traction and so many accolades for his rehashed stories that he has no intention of quitting now.

Here are some exciting stories being tossed about for the exciting, racy new shows on Peacock.

Sloan is pregnant but miscarries. She hires a pregnant lookalike to dupe Eric into marriage. Of course, the double (Susanna) falls for the pouty ex-priest and traps Sloan in a dungeon. This storyline includes a montage where Eric and Brady dress up as Backstreet Boys to honor Susanna-posing-as-Sloan's fantasies.

Tripp and Johnny continue their chest-thumping competition and Johnny wins Chanel's heart. But Tripp's not out yet because it turns out Johnny and Chanel are still married. They fly to Portafino to divorce, but old feelings reignite.

Paulina develops yet another implausible backstory and starts crying over a locket that has two baby pictures in it. Meanwhile, Talia and Jada start telling anyone within earshot about their horrible awful mother who abandoned them years ago. This will continue longer than anyone could expect, in order to give Talia proper time to develop a loathing for Paulina which most viewers have found easily.

Finally, Tony decides to get in touch with his "true destiny" and becomes a professional gardener at the Kiriakis mansion. And true to his heritage, he finds it necessary to seduce the lady of the house.
 
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Re-Ron's team leaks more...

Another mayoral race occurs in Salem, pitting incumbent Abe against incompetent Justin. In a bid to help his daddy, Alex tricks Abe into a bad photo op at a construction site. An industrial accident once again blinds Abe.

Paulina and Alex begin a steamy romance after she figures out he was responsible for Abraham's blinding accident and goes to confront him while he's doing burpees in bikini bottoms. The affair rages on despite their every attempt to stop it beyond doing anything to stop it. They're constantly meeting to discuss not having sex anymore, and this begins to arouse the suspicion of Alex's lifelong love of the week, Talia.

As the Mayor's race heats up, Bonnie acts as Justin's campaign manager and considers stuffing the ballot boxes as well as faking blindness after Abe surges in the polls. Justin continues to excuse this deplorable behaviour for no obvious reason. In a shocking twist, write-in candidate Gabi wins in a landslide.

Thanks to a madcap offer from Wei Shin, EJ, Stefan, and Li Shin take the DiMera jet to Hong Kong for some reason, but crash in the deserts of New Zealand. They must work together to survive even though they know whoever makes it to Hong Kong first will be named DiMera CEO for life.

Back home, Johnny and Julie start a promotional business together to improve tourism in Salem. This lures a big-time movie producer to town who tempts Johnny with a flashy offer, causing the new firm to lose millions.
 
Here are a few more shamelees re-runs of old plots.

Jeremy Returns: No longer a fugitive, Jeremy Horton returns and starts a party bus business taking high rolling retirees from Salem to midwestern casinos. Still smitten with the hunk, Stephanie gives up her career to be a hostess on the bus, unknown to her, Jeremy is using his bus business to transport drugs for Evan Frears and his new army of Eastern European hotties. One night, Evan decides that nosy Stephanie is excess baggage and pushes her off the bus into a cornfield in the middle of nowhere. Frantic with worry, Steve and Kayla begin a desperate search of cornfields, pig sties, hen houses, cabins, and outhouses for their daughter.

Princess Gina returns: Desperate to find three magic emeralds that will give her super psychic powers, including the ability to regain Brady’s love, Kritter Kristen has Rolf turn Hope into Princess Gina and sends her with Faux Bo to find them in Alamania. John, Steve, and the useless Harris rush to Alamania to foil the emeralds plot and to restore Hope and Bo to their old selves. Will John and Steve succeed or will Harris’s ineptitude ruin everything?
 
Re-Ron can't stop Re-Running Old Ideas, and Soap Enquirer Digest has the scoop! Here are some tidbits from the head writer's post-it notes...!

  • Chanel is devastated when a re-possessed Johnny dumps her at the altar.
    • "People love to see gloom and doom and they're really rooting for the long-standing pair of Chanel and Johnny," the writer beams.
  • Sloan is expressionless after a night of passion with Eric and a morning with Alex lead to her pregnancy.
    • The twins will have different fathers, something Head Writer Ron Carlivati calls "a revolutionary first for a soap... (whispers) on streaming".
  • In an actual first, Alex the cad will also impregnate Gwen and Stephanie.
    • "Never before has one character who's so unlikeable been given so much screen time," Ron notes.
  • In a triple twist, both Gwen and Stephanie will also be pregnant by two men at the same time (Gwen by Xander and Stephanie by Chad).
    • "With six babies on the way in Salem, at least one baby might be switched," teases Ron coyly. "Fans love baby switches and we just bought some extra dolls."
Days of Our Lives airs on Peacock for a small fee.
 
ReRon keeps at it although his efforts often don’t result in good episodes.

Aiden and Chase Return: Aiden Jennings returns to Salem and attempts to renew his relationship with Hope. Aiden is hopeful when she doesn’t laugh in his face. Meanwhile he agrees to represent Kritter Kristen and soon finds himself locked in a cage with a dead sparrow, Having read Steve’s book “How to Escape from Anywhere,” Aiden finally gets free only to learn that Hope has just married Harris and his tattoos. Enraged, Aiden plots to murder Hope on her wedding night. He prepares his disguise by buying Harris’s favorite type of undershirt and a baseball cap. About this time pathetic Chase Jennings makes a feeble attempt to rape Ciara, but she easily turns him into a pretzel. Hauled off to Bayview, Chase cowers in his cell, terrified that Ben will appear and try to strangle him.
 
No, Aiden wasn't killed. He couldn't go through with killing Hope, so the DiMeras locked him in a cage in some warehouse. They had a DiMera flunky, who was an Aiden lookalike, break into Hope's house and try to kill her on her and Aiden's wedding night. Bo got there in the nick of time, saved Hope, and killed the DiMera flunky (who everybody thought was really Aiden).
 
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