RockfordFosgate
Well-Known Member
For those that know, I thought I'd update a bit.
When I left in September, I truly had no intention of going back. I knew it would be a long, hard road. But the more I saw Hubby put forth real effort into correcting his mistakes and behavior, in seeking counseling of his own initiative before even hiring a lawyer, and the many, many talks we had, we set about a tentative plan for me to come back and he moved out and stayed with a friend. That way Annabelle was back in the school district we wanted both her in (and out of the one we both couldn't stand), he'd be close enough to see the girls, and we could ease our way back at a pace that was comfortable to me. He did eventually move back with us and the biggest issue we've been having since is just learning how to communicate better. He was diagnosed as bipolar II and has been taking medication. That's a huge step for him because he was always so vocal about his belief that mental health issues are 'excuses' and he didn't think there was validity in therapy or medication. In no way does the bipolar excuse what happened, but it does help me understand what happened along the path to that point. Hindsight is always 20/20. The diagnosis also gives me some clear signs to watch out for in the future in case of relapse. So he has his counselor, I have mine, and we have one that we see together so we've got three professional opinions on our situation. Hubby's court date was last week. 1 year deferred sentence, fines, court fees and such, and mandatory continuation of his counseling (which is redundant since he had no intention of stopping his counseling). We also filed bankruptcy, in part because of the strain the separation put on our finances. So there's been a lot of stress and adjustments but we're making it through fairly well.
This is one of the many, many reasons I loathe the EJ/Sami story. Not only does it demean Sami and real victims of abuse as well as perpetuating the cycle of abuse as romantic, but it also belittles the real effort that some men do put into, dare I use the phrase, being a "better man". Gah, that phrase just sounds horrid! LOL! I don't expect Days to be accurate in the portrayal and show EJ in therapy, but to completely ignore the abusive history of EJ/Sami (and his abuse of Nicole as well) is sickening. Even if I take a step back and viewing EJ/Sami from a writing standpoint, to not give a clear storyline where the viewers see the real struggle EJ would have to change his attitude and behavior is just poor writing and even poorer storytelling. Making a leap from A to C doesn't make sense if you don't see B anywhere; same thing with the lack of character development. Not to turn this into the whole EJ/Sami issue....
When I left in September, I truly had no intention of going back. I knew it would be a long, hard road. But the more I saw Hubby put forth real effort into correcting his mistakes and behavior, in seeking counseling of his own initiative before even hiring a lawyer, and the many, many talks we had, we set about a tentative plan for me to come back and he moved out and stayed with a friend. That way Annabelle was back in the school district we wanted both her in (and out of the one we both couldn't stand), he'd be close enough to see the girls, and we could ease our way back at a pace that was comfortable to me. He did eventually move back with us and the biggest issue we've been having since is just learning how to communicate better. He was diagnosed as bipolar II and has been taking medication. That's a huge step for him because he was always so vocal about his belief that mental health issues are 'excuses' and he didn't think there was validity in therapy or medication. In no way does the bipolar excuse what happened, but it does help me understand what happened along the path to that point. Hindsight is always 20/20. The diagnosis also gives me some clear signs to watch out for in the future in case of relapse. So he has his counselor, I have mine, and we have one that we see together so we've got three professional opinions on our situation. Hubby's court date was last week. 1 year deferred sentence, fines, court fees and such, and mandatory continuation of his counseling (which is redundant since he had no intention of stopping his counseling). We also filed bankruptcy, in part because of the strain the separation put on our finances. So there's been a lot of stress and adjustments but we're making it through fairly well.
This is one of the many, many reasons I loathe the EJ/Sami story. Not only does it demean Sami and real victims of abuse as well as perpetuating the cycle of abuse as romantic, but it also belittles the real effort that some men do put into, dare I use the phrase, being a "better man". Gah, that phrase just sounds horrid! LOL! I don't expect Days to be accurate in the portrayal and show EJ in therapy, but to completely ignore the abusive history of EJ/Sami (and his abuse of Nicole as well) is sickening. Even if I take a step back and viewing EJ/Sami from a writing standpoint, to not give a clear storyline where the viewers see the real struggle EJ would have to change his attitude and behavior is just poor writing and even poorer storytelling. Making a leap from A to C doesn't make sense if you don't see B anywhere; same thing with the lack of character development. Not to turn this into the whole EJ/Sami issue....
