SalemPDiots
Well-Known Member
I have been watching the NBC soap, “Days of Our Lives" since the early 80's when, my brother, of all people got me hooked on it. For literally years, my sister Linda and I have laughed, and poked fun at the utter ridiculousness of some of the things soap writers come up with, especially for the residents of "Salem, USA". The city is supposed to be not far from Chicago, so why not just say, "Salem, Illinois"??? Anyway, despite the maddening stupid plots, and outrageous happenings in this town, for some reason, I can't stop watching. So, in the spirit of "lists", I'm counting down what I love (and sometimes hate) about Days.
10.) MONEY IS NEVER AN ISSUE for anyone in Salem! Even the "destitute" never seem to have a problem finding a place to live or designer clothes to wear. Oh yeah, and people jump flights to Europe and beyond at a moment's notice without ever a mention of how they're going to pay for it, or if they can get time off work...which leads me to number 9:
9.) NO COST OF LIVING! Many of the Salem residents live quite well, and yet do not appear to have jobs. Those that do get employed with huge companies, without education, experience, or even the formality of an interview!! Once they're employed, they rarely go to work. They hang out in the Brady Pub, The Java Cafe, and for some inexplicable reason, the pier. The same pier where people routinely get attacked, thrown into the river, etc. Go figure. Oh yeah, after my mom had been watching Days for about a year, one day she says to me, totally straight-faced and serious, "Does Bo work?" The Bo she is referring to is "Bo Brady" Day's longtime heartthrob, cop, ISA agent, merchant marine, you name it! Currently Bo is Salem's Police Commissioner. The fact that my mom had watched the show for so long and still didn't know whether or not this guy had a job just got me laughing so hard, I couldn't stand it! Perfect example of the work ethic in Salem.
8.) PEOPLE IN SALEM HAVE NINE LIVES..AT LEAST! Just for example, not just one, but several characters over the years have been presumed dead, not ONCE, but several times over, only to return again! Stefano Dimera has been presumed dead 11 times!! Marlena, John, Bo, Hope, Roman, Rolf, Steve Johnson (aka "Patch) Tony, and Jack have also been presumed dead at least once each!! Seriously??? LOL!
7.) NO GUARANTEE OF CONFIDENTIALITY! If you live in Salem and have ANY procedure done in the hospital, you have absolutely no guarantee of confidentiality for anything! Unauthorized people routinely wander into offices, log in to computers with no security passwords and easily change people's records, blood types, and even paternity tests!! In addition, they seem to have free access to patient's rooms, whether they're in ICU or not. They're pretty much free to inject patients with deadly drugs, unplug their life support, or just good old fashioned smothering them with the pillow, all going undetected!! Oh yeah, and at any given time, there's usually only two doctors working at said hospital. Those are pretty much the two characters who happen to be hot at a given time.
6.) CHILDREN AGE AT WARP SPEED! Children on soaps do not age like normal children. Best example: When John Black and Marlena Evans married after one or the other (can't remember which) reappeared from the dead, the flower girl and ring bearer were none other than Brady Black (John's son with deceased wife Isabella) and Belle Brady (John and Marlena's daughter. Both kids were about 5-6 years old at the time. One year later, Brady Black is in his early twenties and Belle is a high school senior. "Nuff said. Totally, ridiculously moronic, but there you have it!
5.) PEOPLE CAN COMMIT THE WORST CRIMES AND WALK. At least a couple of Salem residents have been on death row, or been jailed for crimes that would have them locked up for years in the real world, but in Salem, USA, the outside rules don't apply. Lucas, Sam\mi, and John, just to name a few, have all been on death row, yet they walk the streets of Salem. Marlena attacked fellow Salemites and defaced a church once, but all was forgiven because she was possessed by the devil. Vivian Alamain buried Carly Manning alive once, among many other crimes, and yet, we see Viv, happily cavorting and conniving in Salem once again, unfettered by legal problems.
4.) NOBODY EVER COOKS, GOES TO THE BATHROOM, OR WATCHES TV! Despite the fact that part of the long history of "Days" is Alice Horton's famous doughnuts, never once in my life, have I ever seen anyone actually in the kitchen making these doughnuts, or anything else for that matter! Rarely do people eat, and when they do, it's in a restaurant, yet everyone has wonderful figures and is in tip-top shape. As far as TV goes, the only time anyone is Salem watches TV is if there is some breaking news story important to that day's show.
3.) SUPER COUPLES! Days has been famous for years for producing some of daytime's favorite "supercouples"! Bo and Hope, Steve and Kayla, Jack and Jennifer, Kim and Shane, and of course, John and Marlena. However, the writers seem to have this terrible way of spending lots of time bonding these couples, only to write **** that tears them apart, ensuring nobody gets a happy ending!!
2.) SAMI, SAMI, SAMII! LOL! If you watch Days, you'll know what I mean. At any given time you want to either smack the living **** out of her, or you feel sorry for her. Alison Sweeney has become more well known in the past couple of years because of "The Biggest Loser", but she started on this show as a young teen and has basically grown up on camera. She really does an amazing job carrying out the never-ending escapades that make Sami one of the most popular characters ever.
1.) HOT GUYS! Okay, maybe that's little lame, but what fun would it be if the guys all looked like John Q. Public.?? There's plenty of hot guys in the world, however, they usually aren't all found in one small town, and most of the guys that are considered "hot" tend to be egotistical *******s. Then again, many of the soap guys are too. Yet, when you see characters like Bo, John, the "old" Mike Horton, and my personal favorite "EJ" (Yeah, so I'm a sucker for English guys, what can I say?) it's hard not to be interested in watching. Besides when you have so many crackpot storylines and totally outrageous scenarios from day to day, it's just plain fun.
OMG! I finished this and just realized I left out one of the biggest problems with Salem: THE SALEM PD!!
Anyone who watches this show will quickly discover the level of ineptitude in the Salem Police Department is nothing short of mind-boggling!! Comprised of Bo, Roman, Abe, Hope, and a couple of non-descript, nameless flunkies, the Salem Police Department consistently botches investigations, loses evidence, and could very likely be replaced by Lancelot Link and a gang of trained chimps and nobody would be the wiser. As with the Salem Hospital, the police department allows unauthorized citizens to access computers, inmates, files, and pretty much any other area that would be off-limits on a day-to-day basis. Case in point, in the recent past, Officer Hope Brady (wife of police commissioner Bo) has been taking sleeping pills which somehow have caused her to wake up, change her hair, makeup, and clothing, and cruise the streets of Salem at night, mugging and assaulting the residents, including EJ Dimera, the DA, Brady Black, and even Roman Brady himself!! Of course, Hope doesn't remember any of this behavior the next day. In turn, she is the officer assigned to the muggings, which means SHE IS NOW CHASING HERSELF! lololol. This is just one of many faux pas the police department has encountered over the years, and no end is in sight. Finally Hope was arrested, but after all was said and done, she's back on the force! No new training, no refresher, no probation period, no nothing!! Only in Salem, USA!!
10.) MONEY IS NEVER AN ISSUE for anyone in Salem! Even the "destitute" never seem to have a problem finding a place to live or designer clothes to wear. Oh yeah, and people jump flights to Europe and beyond at a moment's notice without ever a mention of how they're going to pay for it, or if they can get time off work...which leads me to number 9:
9.) NO COST OF LIVING! Many of the Salem residents live quite well, and yet do not appear to have jobs. Those that do get employed with huge companies, without education, experience, or even the formality of an interview!! Once they're employed, they rarely go to work. They hang out in the Brady Pub, The Java Cafe, and for some inexplicable reason, the pier. The same pier where people routinely get attacked, thrown into the river, etc. Go figure. Oh yeah, after my mom had been watching Days for about a year, one day she says to me, totally straight-faced and serious, "Does Bo work?" The Bo she is referring to is "Bo Brady" Day's longtime heartthrob, cop, ISA agent, merchant marine, you name it! Currently Bo is Salem's Police Commissioner. The fact that my mom had watched the show for so long and still didn't know whether or not this guy had a job just got me laughing so hard, I couldn't stand it! Perfect example of the work ethic in Salem.
8.) PEOPLE IN SALEM HAVE NINE LIVES..AT LEAST! Just for example, not just one, but several characters over the years have been presumed dead, not ONCE, but several times over, only to return again! Stefano Dimera has been presumed dead 11 times!! Marlena, John, Bo, Hope, Roman, Rolf, Steve Johnson (aka "Patch) Tony, and Jack have also been presumed dead at least once each!! Seriously??? LOL!
7.) NO GUARANTEE OF CONFIDENTIALITY! If you live in Salem and have ANY procedure done in the hospital, you have absolutely no guarantee of confidentiality for anything! Unauthorized people routinely wander into offices, log in to computers with no security passwords and easily change people's records, blood types, and even paternity tests!! In addition, they seem to have free access to patient's rooms, whether they're in ICU or not. They're pretty much free to inject patients with deadly drugs, unplug their life support, or just good old fashioned smothering them with the pillow, all going undetected!! Oh yeah, and at any given time, there's usually only two doctors working at said hospital. Those are pretty much the two characters who happen to be hot at a given time.
6.) CHILDREN AGE AT WARP SPEED! Children on soaps do not age like normal children. Best example: When John Black and Marlena Evans married after one or the other (can't remember which) reappeared from the dead, the flower girl and ring bearer were none other than Brady Black (John's son with deceased wife Isabella) and Belle Brady (John and Marlena's daughter. Both kids were about 5-6 years old at the time. One year later, Brady Black is in his early twenties and Belle is a high school senior. "Nuff said. Totally, ridiculously moronic, but there you have it!
5.) PEOPLE CAN COMMIT THE WORST CRIMES AND WALK. At least a couple of Salem residents have been on death row, or been jailed for crimes that would have them locked up for years in the real world, but in Salem, USA, the outside rules don't apply. Lucas, Sam\mi, and John, just to name a few, have all been on death row, yet they walk the streets of Salem. Marlena attacked fellow Salemites and defaced a church once, but all was forgiven because she was possessed by the devil. Vivian Alamain buried Carly Manning alive once, among many other crimes, and yet, we see Viv, happily cavorting and conniving in Salem once again, unfettered by legal problems.
4.) NOBODY EVER COOKS, GOES TO THE BATHROOM, OR WATCHES TV! Despite the fact that part of the long history of "Days" is Alice Horton's famous doughnuts, never once in my life, have I ever seen anyone actually in the kitchen making these doughnuts, or anything else for that matter! Rarely do people eat, and when they do, it's in a restaurant, yet everyone has wonderful figures and is in tip-top shape. As far as TV goes, the only time anyone is Salem watches TV is if there is some breaking news story important to that day's show.
3.) SUPER COUPLES! Days has been famous for years for producing some of daytime's favorite "supercouples"! Bo and Hope, Steve and Kayla, Jack and Jennifer, Kim and Shane, and of course, John and Marlena. However, the writers seem to have this terrible way of spending lots of time bonding these couples, only to write **** that tears them apart, ensuring nobody gets a happy ending!!
2.) SAMI, SAMI, SAMII! LOL! If you watch Days, you'll know what I mean. At any given time you want to either smack the living **** out of her, or you feel sorry for her. Alison Sweeney has become more well known in the past couple of years because of "The Biggest Loser", but she started on this show as a young teen and has basically grown up on camera. She really does an amazing job carrying out the never-ending escapades that make Sami one of the most popular characters ever.
1.) HOT GUYS! Okay, maybe that's little lame, but what fun would it be if the guys all looked like John Q. Public.?? There's plenty of hot guys in the world, however, they usually aren't all found in one small town, and most of the guys that are considered "hot" tend to be egotistical *******s. Then again, many of the soap guys are too. Yet, when you see characters like Bo, John, the "old" Mike Horton, and my personal favorite "EJ" (Yeah, so I'm a sucker for English guys, what can I say?) it's hard not to be interested in watching. Besides when you have so many crackpot storylines and totally outrageous scenarios from day to day, it's just plain fun.
OMG! I finished this and just realized I left out one of the biggest problems with Salem: THE SALEM PD!!
Anyone who watches this show will quickly discover the level of ineptitude in the Salem Police Department is nothing short of mind-boggling!! Comprised of Bo, Roman, Abe, Hope, and a couple of non-descript, nameless flunkies, the Salem Police Department consistently botches investigations, loses evidence, and could very likely be replaced by Lancelot Link and a gang of trained chimps and nobody would be the wiser. As with the Salem Hospital, the police department allows unauthorized citizens to access computers, inmates, files, and pretty much any other area that would be off-limits on a day-to-day basis. Case in point, in the recent past, Officer Hope Brady (wife of police commissioner Bo) has been taking sleeping pills which somehow have caused her to wake up, change her hair, makeup, and clothing, and cruise the streets of Salem at night, mugging and assaulting the residents, including EJ Dimera, the DA, Brady Black, and even Roman Brady himself!! Of course, Hope doesn't remember any of this behavior the next day. In turn, she is the officer assigned to the muggings, which means SHE IS NOW CHASING HERSELF! lololol. This is just one of many faux pas the police department has encountered over the years, and no end is in sight. Finally Hope was arrested, but after all was said and done, she's back on the force! No new training, no refresher, no probation period, no nothing!! Only in Salem, USA!!
