Would You or Did You Let Your Teens go to Senior Week?

backtodays

backtodays

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I have an early dilemma. Yes, I'm jumping the gun by asking a year ahead, but my 17 year old son is now a senior in high school. Of course, he is asking ahead of time to see if he can go to Senior Week at the beach at the end of the upcoming school year. I told him we would discuss it the closer it gets to the end of the year as a lot can change by the time.

As a parent, it makes me incredibly nervous to think of letting him go to the beach for a week unsupervised with a group of teenagers. He is a great driver and has been to a driver's education class, but the drive to the beach which will be about 4 hours from our house and back. Plus any driving he will do while he's there plus the whole week unsupervised. Of course, he even has asked about riding with someone else which is another concern in the mix, someone else driving, also a teenager. Teens can get distracted with dire consequences. As far as I know, my son has never smoked, had alcohol or did drugs. I think I would know as we get along great and have a very close relationship. He talks about everything with me, even telling me things I may not always like, but he wants my opinion. Plus, his football coaches really put the fear of what would happen if the players did that into them. He also works out all the time and said he would not want to harm his body or risk his chances of playing football by doing anything illegal. Yes, he's that dedicated LOL. My husband is also a deputy sheriff and he has told him what could happen as well. Not saying he is a saint, but this is where we are. I have to trust him to make good decisions.

About my son he is now a senior, 17, will be 18 in October, (late birthday so started school late), makes A/B Honor Roll every year, never in trouble, starting Varsity Football team and is an overall great kid. I'm blessed. I realize I can't protect him every minute of the day and shortly after he graduates he will be starting college. If he gets a football scholarship, he will most likely be leaving after he graduates next year for summer work outs and this whole issue will be null and void LOL.

I told my husband I would rather not let him go and he asks why not? To make it worse, it came up in conversation that I went to Senior Week as a teenager and now my son wants to know why he can't go if I say no....To end this long novel, I trust my son to make good decisions for the most part, but I know even in the best scenarios, things can happen. So, for parents, would you let your child go or have you let your child go to Senior Week? If you did let them go, how did everything turn out? I'm torn between wanting to say no and wanting to know if I'm being overprotective. Your thoughts?
 
As a side note and compromise, I did tell my husband I would be fine renting a house that week for me to stay or rent it with another mom who has a kid going, drive him down there and back. I would be fine letting him hang out with his friends that whole week and come and go, but at least I would know where he was staying and how he would get there and back. And no, I would not be hanging out with him or his friends. Just keeping to myself while he was with his friends... I heard some other parents did this and they said it made them more comfortable and their teen got their freedom as well. Anyways, it's a ways off, but just thought I would throw it out here! I'm sure my opinion on this may change towards the end of the year. My husband is adamant my son is a good kid and my worries are for nothing.
 
Oh, dear. I never had that come up. When I lived in Illinois, my first two were daughters, and the only thing the kids wanted to do was go to the Dells or the Dunes after prom. There was no "Senior week". And when we moved up here, there was nothing like that at all with my boys.
I know I would be very nervous, too. And it isn't to worry about your own child, but it is others. There are always those who want to be daredevils, or take chances, or just want to have fun with no thought to what "could" happen.

But,....different areas of the country have different events/conditions/etc. etc. Just because there was no such things as Senior week getaways in my areas, doesn't mean they don't exist elsewhere. So...I am sure others will chime in.
Just adding I was a nervous wreck just letting mine go for a day. I don't think I would have agreed to a week. :)
 
And P.S. Yep, your idea about renting a house/place...I think I would probably do that if it had come up for me, and there was that option.
 
I look on the news all the time and there is always something...my husband thinks I'm being too overprotective. It's worried me like crazy since he asked me about going. He already assumes I'm going to say no LOL. People think it's different when you have boys, but trust me, I worry a ton about him. He's my only child so probably more so.
 
my friend just went through this... she offered to take her son and his closest friends to a better beach... she gave them freedom to go out and do things on their own--but she stayed in that beach house with them.. (her and one or two other mom's)...she had a blast, and her son and his friends all had a great time ...they even "allowed" the mom's to go to dinner with them one of the nights ..lol..it made my friends day.

My kids are still young---not sure how i'll handle that situation. also -i'm just a hop skip and jump away from you down here in South Carolina. my thoughts are with you. I understand, as a parent, the concerns....but I also remember the desire to be treated like an adult when I graduated High School...that want to be "free" and "on your own".... My friends and I went to Emerald Isle in North Carolina for "senior week"....we didn't want to go to the typical "senior week" spots because of the crowds....guess that makes me sort of geeky...lol...but we had drinks --- just a beach house all to ourselves. and we came home just fine, and that was only 10 years ago.
 
Thanks for all of yall's (yes, I'm Southern LOL) advice. Much appreciated and glad to see it sounds like a reasonable compromise to offer to rent a house for them and be there with another mom. Whether or not he'll actually still want to go next year I guess we'll see. In the meantime, glad to see also that I'm not the only one that worries about things like this. My husband thought it wasn't a big deal...I did! Anyways, hope you are all staying cool! It's 92 degrees here at 6:15 p.m.! Geez!
 
Same temp here at 5:30....and I am way "up north". Who knows what a year will bring to your son's thoughts on it all.....At least there is plenty of time to "make reservations". LOL
 
I graduated from an all girls academy in Milwaukee and we didn't have Senior beach week back then, but when my son was graduating from High School (So. California) they had a senior beach weekend but were accompanied by chaparones. If I can remember correctly they were being chauffered by the chaparones who were either parents or Coaches/Counselors on the younger-side, and all parents were given a list of their names and phone numbers for parents who had questions. That way the students weren't driving all over the place once they got to the beach and there was more control. A good time was had by all and everyone came home safe and sound. However, that was in the early ninety's and things were different, I'm not sure it would be the same today. Would kids even go if there were chaparones with them?
 
When my daughter graduated from high school, her and a bunch of kids went to Cancun. She earned the money for the down payment and then QUIT HER JOB!! I had to make up the difference! They were down there unsupervised, drank till they were stupid, got clothing stolen. When I heard all the particulars of what happened down there I was flabergasted. I don't know what I was thinking letting her go down there. It was a time in my life I was working long hours trying to keep a roof over our heads, and I had a lapse of judgement. I know it's not much of an excuse but that's all I got.
 
I have young children (8 and 6) so I may change my thoughts. But I see this world as being very different than the fairly safe world I grew up in, even in elementary school, so something I would have agreed to if raising children back then is different than what is safe now. I think I would counterpart with an offer for him and a few of his buddys to let me take them to a different beach, ( not in a party town) and give them some space to hang out and have fun, maybe an amusement park trip would be cool. My senior year the kids went on a Senior trip to Europe chaperoned, I didnt really have an intrest in going. And no I dont consider that being over protective, it is our job to keep our kids safe even if they are almost grown.
 
Just on a side note, Iam the oposite of over protective. I am raising my kids on a farm and have been letting them hang out in the woods, ride four wheelers, and they are being taught now to shoot guns. A lot of moms think Iam crazy for those things, lol. Iam up in Indiana and am cooking in 98 degrees:) Iam praying for my gardens and watering them everyday, we live off the canning all year. Anyways everyone be careful in this heat.
 
I have two boys myself and they are getting close to that age. It seems like I'm in the minority. I would let him go. For me, he's close to being out on his own, when does he get trusted to make his own decisions. They learn from their mistakes and it's how they grow up. It sounds like you have done the hard part. You've raised a good kid. You could ask him to text you once a day to let you know that he's okay but I think it's important for him to try out his wings a little. You could also make a deal where if at any time he needs you either to come get him, or whatever you will and you won't lecture him until after you have slept on it. When he goes away to college, there are so many different things he can do and all without supervision. With this he can come back and share with you how he handled things so that you might have an easier time letting him go to college.
 
Hope you don't mind if I chime in on this. I agree with jeaniebean that when they are that close to leaving home and going to college/university, they will be on their own and free to do whatever they want. Now not being a person with kids, I can still understand and appreciate the concerns, however, I can still remember being that age and the whole point of this is not to have your parents or chaperones around. It is being given the opportuntiy and trust of being with friends without parents that is exciting. Now given what you said about your son being responsible young adult, then perhaps give it some more thought about letting him go. For sure there may be some drinking and shenanigans, but if you know his friends and trust that they will look out for one another, then there is some comfort in that. I remember the big thing in Canada is going camping May long weeknd and was allowed to go when I was 17 and I can say that it was a blast and have such great memories and the fact that my parents trusted me enough (barely, LOL!) to go out with my friends unsupervised was exciting, freedom, and the opportunity to just do what you've always done with friends, just in another location.

Again, I don't have kids so I acknowledge that it is easier said than done.
 
I'm with ya lovindaysalways! I don't get to give my girls (ages 7 and 3) much freedom unless we are up in Virginia visiting my inlaws. The 3 year old gets pretty little amount of freedom, but I sit on the porch and watch her chase her sister and cousin's through the holler.... the older cousins have 4 wheelers and give them rides, etc....and there are horses that she knows all the rules about.
And I have a video of my oldest shooting an AR-15 (automatic rifle) from last year.... which is her favorite gun.....

I'm down in South Carolina--- was in Columbia this past weekend and the temps were in the 110 degrees well past 6:30pm. thought.i.was.going.to.die.a.slow.and.painful.heat.death.
It's "only" 98 right now. but its only 2:19 up here in the upstate.
 
Thanks for the varied responses...all with good insight, too! I know I would be fine renting a house for him and his friends, but I just don't know about letting him go down there unsupervised. I know, I know, give him his freedom. When he goes to college, he'll have all the freedom he wants. Maybe my opinion will change at the end of the year who knows. I guess in the meantime, I'll just drop this for a while instead of worrying myself sick over something that's a year away. But I'm taking all of your opinions into consideration and mulling them over. Thanks all for the honesty!:)
 
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