Noel
Well-Known Member
Dr Baker 
"Dear Ruffles McRed"....an advice column #3
- Thread starter DrBakerFan
- Start date
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I've flopped again with the girl of my dreams. I was talked into a stupid scheme by her roommate to rig some dumb magazine contest. Naturally, the truth came out, and now I'm out in the cold again -- probably for good. How can I succeed with girls? Please help.
Lovelorn College Guy W.
Dear Lovelorn W.,
Oh dear, you have a lot to learn about life and love. You need to trust in your good qualities to win over the ladies. This will come with time. After all, for decades my wonderful Victor wasn't fit for polite society, but now except for a few relapses, he's a regular charming cuddle bear.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed.
P.S. If you are who I think you are, you should count yourself lucky that this girl is out of your life. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (or at least a few weeks/months/years) with a motorcycle maniac whose father was the biggest felon on the Salem P.D. and whose mother shoots people in fits of rage?
I've flopped again with the girl of my dreams. I was talked into a stupid scheme by her roommate to rig some dumb magazine contest. Naturally, the truth came out, and now I'm out in the cold again -- probably for good. How can I succeed with girls? Please help.
Lovelorn College Guy W.
Dear Lovelorn W.,
Oh dear, you have a lot to learn about life and love. You need to trust in your good qualities to win over the ladies. This will come with time. After all, for decades my wonderful Victor wasn't fit for polite society, but now except for a few relapses, he's a regular charming cuddle bear.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed.
P.S. If you are who I think you are, you should count yourself lucky that this girl is out of your life. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (or at least a few weeks/months/years) with a motorcycle maniac whose father was the biggest felon on the Salem P.D. and whose mother shoots people in fits of rage?
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I am an up-and-coming reporter who works for a failing local newspaper that badly needs hard-hitting articles, which will get Salemites to subscribe again. By poking my nose where it doesn't belong, I've learned things like: the sainted Dr. Jonas was a sex addict, the late Bo Brady was a one-man crime wave, Nick Fallon's mystery fuels project was really perfected by Max Brady, Mayor "Honest Abe" Carver wanted to fix the election when he ran against EJ DiMera, and that Abigail Deveraux was hardly perfect even when she was known as "Ms. Perfect." Many people I know might be offended by such stories, but I believe strongly that the truth should see the light of day. Any ideas?
Amnesiac W.
Dear W.,
Oh my, you are in a bit of a quandary. I'd suggest that you give each topic careful thought and then trust your instincts. That said, please don't write anything about Victor. Seeing his dirty laundry aired in public will make him even grouchier than he already is.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed
I am an up-and-coming reporter who works for a failing local newspaper that badly needs hard-hitting articles, which will get Salemites to subscribe again. By poking my nose where it doesn't belong, I've learned things like: the sainted Dr. Jonas was a sex addict, the late Bo Brady was a one-man crime wave, Nick Fallon's mystery fuels project was really perfected by Max Brady, Mayor "Honest Abe" Carver wanted to fix the election when he ran against EJ DiMera, and that Abigail Deveraux was hardly perfect even when she was known as "Ms. Perfect." Many people I know might be offended by such stories, but I believe strongly that the truth should see the light of day. Any ideas?
Amnesiac W.
Dear W.,
Oh my, you are in a bit of a quandary. I'd suggest that you give each topic careful thought and then trust your instincts. That said, please don't write anything about Victor. Seeing his dirty laundry aired in public will make him even grouchier than he already is.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I once had an important, high-paying job at University Hospital, but I threw it all away to join a trendy fashion firm that then vanished into thin air. I then managed to get a new job at a local paper whose so-called owners never show up. I'm currently doing all the work and am never able to come up for air. Any ideas?
Anne M.
P.S., do you know of any good jobs that might be opening up? I'm sick of cranky editors, lazy reporters, and the smell of newsprint.
Dear A.M.
I feel your pain. While being a hands-on owner at Chez Rouge I became heartily sick of the self-important, touchy chefs and smell of cooking food. As for jobs, our wonderful Sonny will be needing a new personal assistant as soon as my grouchy husband gives him his CEO job back. I'll put in a word for you.
Sympathetically,
Ruffles McRed
I once had an important, high-paying job at University Hospital, but I threw it all away to join a trendy fashion firm that then vanished into thin air. I then managed to get a new job at a local paper whose so-called owners never show up. I'm currently doing all the work and am never able to come up for air. Any ideas?
Anne M.
P.S., do you know of any good jobs that might be opening up? I'm sick of cranky editors, lazy reporters, and the smell of newsprint.
Dear A.M.
I feel your pain. While being a hands-on owner at Chez Rouge I became heartily sick of the self-important, touchy chefs and smell of cooking food. As for jobs, our wonderful Sonny will be needing a new personal assistant as soon as my grouchy husband gives him his CEO job back. I'll put in a word for you.
Sympathetically,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
Lately, I've been feeling like a failure in life. My sister mocks me as the "Bad Twin," my career choices have all fizzled, and I live in constant fear that my significant other's late husband will come back to life like so many other Salemites and take her away from me. As a result, my morale needs a serious boost.
Mr. Gloom & Doom
Dear Mr. Gloom,
Oh my, you do seem to be in a bad way, but take heart. Half of Salem has unkind relatives, and that big career break may be just around the corner. For example, Chad DiMera was out on the street, but suddenly found himself head of Titan. And if he doesn't work out, my cuddly Victor might just make you CEO. (Lord knows he'll never pick Sonny, Brady, Philip, or Xander.) Finally, take a positive view toward the possible resurrection of you friend's ex-husband. There's no assurance that he'd win back his ex-wife, and if he's not a DiMera, his return might be a plus for our fine community.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
Lately, I've been feeling like a failure in life. My sister mocks me as the "Bad Twin," my career choices have all fizzled, and I live in constant fear that my significant other's late husband will come back to life like so many other Salemites and take her away from me. As a result, my morale needs a serious boost.
Mr. Gloom & Doom
Dear Mr. Gloom,
Oh my, you do seem to be in a bad way, but take heart. Half of Salem has unkind relatives, and that big career break may be just around the corner. For example, Chad DiMera was out on the street, but suddenly found himself head of Titan. And if he doesn't work out, my cuddly Victor might just make you CEO. (Lord knows he'll never pick Sonny, Brady, Philip, or Xander.) Finally, take a positive view toward the possible resurrection of you friend's ex-husband. There's no assurance that he'd win back his ex-wife, and if he's not a DiMera, his return might be a plus for our fine community.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I'm so angry that I could spit! I've been invited to a wedding where my mother is remarrying the total loser who once wrecked her marriage to Daddy and who ruined my life by doing the tabletop follies with her where I could blunder in on them. (I almost went blind!) I can't decide on whether I should ignore their stoopid invitation or come and confront them as only I can.
Angry S
Dear Angry S,
I feel your pain. Sometimes my cuddly Victor does truly awful things that totally infuriate me. As for your mother's questionable marriage, you should just grin and bear it. Inappropriate marriages are a way of life in Salem. My Victor once married that awful Vivian Alamain and poor Brady has gotten himself involved with more questionable women than I can count. Finally, if your only reason for coming to the wedding is to confront your mother and her new/old husband, don't bother. Confrontations are so common in Salem that nobody notices them and harsh words just roll off Salemites' back. They have thicker hides than any rhinoceros.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
I'm so angry that I could spit! I've been invited to a wedding where my mother is remarrying the total loser who once wrecked her marriage to Daddy and who ruined my life by doing the tabletop follies with her where I could blunder in on them. (I almost went blind!) I can't decide on whether I should ignore their stoopid invitation or come and confront them as only I can.
Angry S
Dear Angry S,
I feel your pain. Sometimes my cuddly Victor does truly awful things that totally infuriate me. As for your mother's questionable marriage, you should just grin and bear it. Inappropriate marriages are a way of life in Salem. My Victor once married that awful Vivian Alamain and poor Brady has gotten himself involved with more questionable women than I can count. Finally, if your only reason for coming to the wedding is to confront your mother and her new/old husband, don't bother. Confrontations are so common in Salem that nobody notices them and harsh words just roll off Salemites' back. They have thicker hides than any rhinoceros.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I have been named CEO of a major Salem corporation although I don't have a MBA or any other standard qualifications. Since my appointment, I have spent almost all my time dealing with my personal problems and making paper cut-outs. Should I feel guilty about this?
C.D.
Dear C.D.
Don't fret. Unqualified CEOs are the rule rather than the exception in Salem, and the truth be known, they don't cause much harm. Take my grouchy, cuddly Victor for example. In the past decade, he's named a series of incompetent relatives to the position, including a career criminal, and one deranged silver-haired man whose chief goal in life was seducing Kate Roberts and kidnapping the late, not-so-great Stefano DiMera. Somehow, Titan has not only survived, but has thrived. Another example is my Chez Rouge Restaurant, which is still going strong despite the fact that I have been ignoring it for years. Therefore, my advice is to go with the flow, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
I have been named CEO of a major Salem corporation although I don't have a MBA or any other standard qualifications. Since my appointment, I have spent almost all my time dealing with my personal problems and making paper cut-outs. Should I feel guilty about this?
C.D.
Dear C.D.
Don't fret. Unqualified CEOs are the rule rather than the exception in Salem, and the truth be known, they don't cause much harm. Take my grouchy, cuddly Victor for example. In the past decade, he's named a series of incompetent relatives to the position, including a career criminal, and one deranged silver-haired man whose chief goal in life was seducing Kate Roberts and kidnapping the late, not-so-great Stefano DiMera. Somehow, Titan has not only survived, but has thrived. Another example is my Chez Rouge Restaurant, which is still going strong despite the fact that I have been ignoring it for years. Therefore, my advice is to go with the flow, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I have just been reunited with my true love, but just as absence makes the heart grow fonder, it also exposes previous personal flaws. I've now realized that this guy uses too much hair gel, doesn't dress well, can't hold a job, is an ex-convict, rarely smiles, and can be downright depressing to be around. Are these problems deal breakers or can true love finally prevail?
Sad N.W.
Dear N.W.,
I feel your pain. My cuddly Victor is one big bushel basket full of flaws, but I still love him dearly even though he can drive me crazy. My advice is to weigh the positives and negatives and then make your decision. If you and Mr. Frowny Face are meant to be together, true love will prevail.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., Don't make a decision based on the hope that you can change him. Salem men never change despite what Sami Brady always said about that awful EJ DiMera.
I have just been reunited with my true love, but just as absence makes the heart grow fonder, it also exposes previous personal flaws. I've now realized that this guy uses too much hair gel, doesn't dress well, can't hold a job, is an ex-convict, rarely smiles, and can be downright depressing to be around. Are these problems deal breakers or can true love finally prevail?
Sad N.W.
Dear N.W.,
I feel your pain. My cuddly Victor is one big bushel basket full of flaws, but I still love him dearly even though he can drive me crazy. My advice is to weigh the positives and negatives and then make your decision. If you and Mr. Frowny Face are meant to be together, true love will prevail.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., Don't make a decision based on the hope that you can change him. Salem men never change despite what Sami Brady always said about that awful EJ DiMera.
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
Sadly, I'm stuck in a loveless marriage while living in a dumpy apartment in a strange city. I was convinced that my manly physique, charming British accent, and scintillating personality would win over my bride. Instead, all I get is hostility and nasty remarks. Is there any hope?
Mr. X
Dear Mr. X.
The writing is on the wall. Your marriage sounds as hopeless as all of Brady Black's past relationships. My advice is to cut your losses and move on. If you're as appealing as you say you are, finding a new love shouldn't be difficult. And if you're exaggerating your assets, there's still hope. After all, Victor with all his faults was able to win my heart.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
Sadly, I'm stuck in a loveless marriage while living in a dumpy apartment in a strange city. I was convinced that my manly physique, charming British accent, and scintillating personality would win over my bride. Instead, all I get is hostility and nasty remarks. Is there any hope?
Mr. X
Dear Mr. X.
The writing is on the wall. Your marriage sounds as hopeless as all of Brady Black's past relationships. My advice is to cut your losses and move on. If you're as appealing as you say you are, finding a new love shouldn't be difficult. And if you're exaggerating your assets, there's still hope. After all, Victor with all his faults was able to win my heart.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear All-Knowing Ruffles McRed,
My darling fiancee has dumped me after she learned that I cheated on her with several women when our engagment hit a "rough spot." She's now angrily dumped me, but I refuse to give up. Is there any way for me to win her back?
Sexy R.B.
Dear R.B.
It sounds as if you're too sexy for your own good. I usually don't like to be negative, but you and your fiancee are finished -- done -- toast. No sensible woman would stay with a man who cheated continually during their engagement. If he cheats then, what will he do during marriage when the red-hot passion of a new love starts to fade. I'd suggest that you don't consider a serious relationship until your roving eye stops twitching.
Sternly,
Ruffles McRed
My darling fiancee has dumped me after she learned that I cheated on her with several women when our engagment hit a "rough spot." She's now angrily dumped me, but I refuse to give up. Is there any way for me to win her back?
Sexy R.B.
Dear R.B.
It sounds as if you're too sexy for your own good. I usually don't like to be negative, but you and your fiancee are finished -- done -- toast. No sensible woman would stay with a man who cheated continually during their engagement. If he cheats then, what will he do during marriage when the red-hot passion of a new love starts to fade. I'd suggest that you don't consider a serious relationship until your roving eye stops twitching.
Sternly,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
My Mom and her latest husband are impossible. They are total maniacs on the subject of my new almost boyfriend. Just because he broke the law a few times in the past, they go nuts every time they hear that I'm with him. And they won't accept the fact that he's changed. What should I do?
CB
Dear CB,
If every person in Salem who has broken the law was deemed unmarriageable or undatable, this town would be full of lonely hearts. If my dear parents had been alive when I married my cuddly Victor, they'd have been appalled because of his then-sketchy reputation, unsuitable past wives, and grouchy nature. Brady Black, Lucas Horton, Bo Brady, Steve Johnson, etc. all committed some crime at one time or another, yet almost everyone now thinks well of them. And if your friend has truly changed, unlike the odious EJ DiMera (aka Mr. Mummy), who never, ever changed, I say go for it.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., none of the above advice applies if you're dating Ben Weston. Not only did he once murder several people, but would you really want Clyde Weston as a father-in-law?
My Mom and her latest husband are impossible. They are total maniacs on the subject of my new almost boyfriend. Just because he broke the law a few times in the past, they go nuts every time they hear that I'm with him. And they won't accept the fact that he's changed. What should I do?
CB
Dear CB,
If every person in Salem who has broken the law was deemed unmarriageable or undatable, this town would be full of lonely hearts. If my dear parents had been alive when I married my cuddly Victor, they'd have been appalled because of his then-sketchy reputation, unsuitable past wives, and grouchy nature. Brady Black, Lucas Horton, Bo Brady, Steve Johnson, etc. all committed some crime at one time or another, yet almost everyone now thinks well of them. And if your friend has truly changed, unlike the odious EJ DiMera (aka Mr. Mummy), who never, ever changed, I say go for it.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., none of the above advice applies if you're dating Ben Weston. Not only did he once murder several people, but would you really want Clyde Weston as a father-in-law?
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
My long-lost husband who was thought to be dead by everyone including the University Hospital morgue has suddenly reappeared. I'd be overcome with joy, but he has total amnesia and can't remember anyone or anything. Worse, he's in the company of a thoroughly disreputable woman. I'm thoroughly distraught, very desperate, and badly need some advice,
Please help,
Ms. Sleeveless
Dear Sleeveless,
OMG, not another total amnesia case. I can't believe how often this rare condition occurs in Salem. My advice is to consult with Salem's leading amnesiac, Will Horton, who recently recovered all his memory. You might also try John Black, who for years had no idea where he came from or who his parents were. (He didn't like the answer.) Also consult with the brilliant Dr. Marlena Evans who helped Will deal with his memory loss. As for rising from the dead, this too is a common occurrence in Salem and the fact that a person has been declared dead by University Hospital is almost a guarantee that they'll be back. Finally, disreputable women are a common plague in Salem. (My Victor or one of his relatives seem to have married most of them at one time or another.) Sadly, not much can be done about them. Just pray that the one who's with your husband gets tired of game playing and leaves town.
Good luck,
Ruffles McRed
My long-lost husband who was thought to be dead by everyone including the University Hospital morgue has suddenly reappeared. I'd be overcome with joy, but he has total amnesia and can't remember anyone or anything. Worse, he's in the company of a thoroughly disreputable woman. I'm thoroughly distraught, very desperate, and badly need some advice,
Please help,
Ms. Sleeveless
Dear Sleeveless,
OMG, not another total amnesia case. I can't believe how often this rare condition occurs in Salem. My advice is to consult with Salem's leading amnesiac, Will Horton, who recently recovered all his memory. You might also try John Black, who for years had no idea where he came from or who his parents were. (He didn't like the answer.) Also consult with the brilliant Dr. Marlena Evans who helped Will deal with his memory loss. As for rising from the dead, this too is a common occurrence in Salem and the fact that a person has been declared dead by University Hospital is almost a guarantee that they'll be back. Finally, disreputable women are a common plague in Salem. (My Victor or one of his relatives seem to have married most of them at one time or another.) Sadly, not much can be done about them. Just pray that the one who's with your husband gets tired of game playing and leaves town.
Good luck,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I am a charming, handsome, older Salem gent who's badly in need of a kiss. I had gotten used to being kissless, but then a former love interest returned and I was suddenly in hog heaven. Sadly, she's now gone and I'm suffering kissing withdrawal symptoms. Any advice.
Chowder Man
Dear Chowder,
Frankly, given the state of most Salem relationships, you may be better off being kissless. My dear daughter, Sarah, has been impossible since she broke things off with her pathetic, cheating ex-fiance, even jumping into bed with the family's thuggish, black-sheep hunk. However, if you are determined to get a kiss, you might want to try the Salem Senior Center. There are many charming older ladies there who might love to meet you. Who knows, you just might get a kiss after a thrilling bingo game.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., avoid the Pub, which is the habitat of that scowling, ill-tempered Eric Brady. The vibes he gives off would ruin the mood for any romantically-inclined woman who's looking for a relationship with an older man such as yourself.
I am a charming, handsome, older Salem gent who's badly in need of a kiss. I had gotten used to being kissless, but then a former love interest returned and I was suddenly in hog heaven. Sadly, she's now gone and I'm suffering kissing withdrawal symptoms. Any advice.
Chowder Man
Dear Chowder,
Frankly, given the state of most Salem relationships, you may be better off being kissless. My dear daughter, Sarah, has been impossible since she broke things off with her pathetic, cheating ex-fiance, even jumping into bed with the family's thuggish, black-sheep hunk. However, if you are determined to get a kiss, you might want to try the Salem Senior Center. There are many charming older ladies there who might love to meet you. Who knows, you just might get a kiss after a thrilling bingo game.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
P.S., avoid the Pub, which is the habitat of that scowling, ill-tempered Eric Brady. The vibes he gives off would ruin the mood for any romantically-inclined woman who's looking for a relationship with an older man such as yourself.
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
My baby has just been kidnapped from my home. I'm so worried. How can I cope?
Ms. A.
Dear Ms. A.
How sad for you. Unfortunately, this type of thing is all too common in Salem, And don't be fazed by the idiocies and failures of the Salem P.D. These days they are blaming everything, including the weather, on Ben Weston. In fact, it would also not surprise me if Hope Brady suggested that Bruno Richard Hauptmann, the kidnapper of Baby Lindbergh, also took your child despite the fact that he's been dead since 1936. My advice is to have faith that your child will be returned soon. The odds are on your side. Kidnapped Salem babies are almost always returned to their mothers. Notable instances include our own Tater Tot who was taken from his mother's womb by the evil Kristen, and Baby Sydney DiMera who made it back into her mother's arms after being kidnapped twice, once by her horrid father, EJ, and by the luckless Nicole Walker.
My thoughts are with you,
Ruffles McRed
My baby has just been kidnapped from my home. I'm so worried. How can I cope?
Ms. A.
Dear Ms. A.
How sad for you. Unfortunately, this type of thing is all too common in Salem, And don't be fazed by the idiocies and failures of the Salem P.D. These days they are blaming everything, including the weather, on Ben Weston. In fact, it would also not surprise me if Hope Brady suggested that Bruno Richard Hauptmann, the kidnapper of Baby Lindbergh, also took your child despite the fact that he's been dead since 1936. My advice is to have faith that your child will be returned soon. The odds are on your side. Kidnapped Salem babies are almost always returned to their mothers. Notable instances include our own Tater Tot who was taken from his mother's womb by the evil Kristen, and Baby Sydney DiMera who made it back into her mother's arms after being kidnapped twice, once by her horrid father, EJ, and by the luckless Nicole Walker.
My thoughts are with you,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
My true love, who appeared to have forgiven my for my past philandering, has just turned down my proposal of marriage. I chose to pop the question at the nurses' station at University hospital and even brought along some spiffy balloons. How could she have turned me down?
Romantic R.
Dear Romantic,
You should change your name to Mr. Clueless. Accompanied by tacky balloons, you actually proposed at the nurses' station, a place where a dead body or critically ill patient could be wheeled by at any moment, and freeloaders commonly appear to score a free cup of bad coffee? What could be worse? The odoriferous Salem town dump or the dank DiMera dungeons might have been a better choices. My advice is to spring for a few bucks and take your beloved for a delicious meal at Salem's absolutely best restaurant, the romantic Chez Rouge. When you propose to a reluctant woman, the milieu often matters.
Your expert in all thing romance,
Ruffles McRed
My true love, who appeared to have forgiven my for my past philandering, has just turned down my proposal of marriage. I chose to pop the question at the nurses' station at University hospital and even brought along some spiffy balloons. How could she have turned me down?
Romantic R.
Dear Romantic,
You should change your name to Mr. Clueless. Accompanied by tacky balloons, you actually proposed at the nurses' station, a place where a dead body or critically ill patient could be wheeled by at any moment, and freeloaders commonly appear to score a free cup of bad coffee? What could be worse? The odoriferous Salem town dump or the dank DiMera dungeons might have been a better choices. My advice is to spring for a few bucks and take your beloved for a delicious meal at Salem's absolutely best restaurant, the romantic Chez Rouge. When you propose to a reluctant woman, the milieu often matters.
Your expert in all thing romance,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
Because of some unfortunate incidents in my past, nobody in Salem would hire me but Stefan O. DiMera. This has caused some problems with my girlfriend, who, like most Salemites, holds Mr. DiMera in very low regard. Do you have any suggestions about where I could get a more respectable position?
Big B.
Dear B.,
Have you tried Salem University Hospital? They seem to hire anyone with a pulse. For example, they recently, hired my daughter's sketchy fiance, a doctor who besides being devoid of personality, is a common, low-down cheater. They also offer good no-show jobs. Jennifer Deveraux worked there for years and rarely went to her office. Best of all, opportunities for advancement seem unlimited. In only a few months, you could be their top surgeon or the chief administrator.
Good Luck,
Ruffles McRed
Because of some unfortunate incidents in my past, nobody in Salem would hire me but Stefan O. DiMera. This has caused some problems with my girlfriend, who, like most Salemites, holds Mr. DiMera in very low regard. Do you have any suggestions about where I could get a more respectable position?
Big B.
Dear B.,
Have you tried Salem University Hospital? They seem to hire anyone with a pulse. For example, they recently, hired my daughter's sketchy fiance, a doctor who besides being devoid of personality, is a common, low-down cheater. They also offer good no-show jobs. Jennifer Deveraux worked there for years and rarely went to her office. Best of all, opportunities for advancement seem unlimited. In only a few months, you could be their top surgeon or the chief administrator.
Good Luck,
Ruffles McRed
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DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
I have a serious problem. My boyfriend has dumped me for no good reason. He's mad just because I helped local law enforcement. What's wrong with men anyway??
YouTube Star
Dear YouTube,
What's wrong with men? I've been asking myself the same question since I married my grouchy, cuddly Victor. Sometimes I want to treat him with warm milk and home-baked cookies and at other times, I'd like to give him a swift kick in the shins. In short problem men (they never change) are something that we strong Salem women simply have to endure.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
I have a serious problem. My boyfriend has dumped me for no good reason. He's mad just because I helped local law enforcement. What's wrong with men anyway??
YouTube Star
Dear YouTube,
What's wrong with men? I've been asking myself the same question since I married my grouchy, cuddly Victor. Sometimes I want to treat him with warm milk and home-baked cookies and at other times, I'd like to give him a swift kick in the shins. In short problem men (they never change) are something that we strong Salem women simply have to endure.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
One of my oldest friends has been acting strangely lately, and now she's gone completely off the rails by suggesting that it might be a good idea to marry into the DiMera family. In addition, she doesn't quite look herself. Her face seems sort of artificial as if she was wearing a high-tech mask or using way too much make-up or Botox. Should I say something to her about either of these matters?
Big B.
Dear B.
Another person's love life can be an awkward subject, but considering marriage to an awful DiMera (they are all awful by definition) is a major mistake. Do your best to prevent this tragic event. As for her make-up and complexion problems, send me a personal message and I'll forward you the name of my favorite beautician. She can work miracles as attested to by her work on Kate Roberts and Hope Brady who are both grannies (old grannies as Sami Brady would say), but who are still occasional participants in the always dangerous Salem dating game.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
One of my oldest friends has been acting strangely lately, and now she's gone completely off the rails by suggesting that it might be a good idea to marry into the DiMera family. In addition, she doesn't quite look herself. Her face seems sort of artificial as if she was wearing a high-tech mask or using way too much make-up or Botox. Should I say something to her about either of these matters?
Big B.
Dear B.
Another person's love life can be an awkward subject, but considering marriage to an awful DiMera (they are all awful by definition) is a major mistake. Do your best to prevent this tragic event. As for her make-up and complexion problems, send me a personal message and I'll forward you the name of my favorite beautician. She can work miracles as attested to by her work on Kate Roberts and Hope Brady who are both grannies (old grannies as Sami Brady would say), but who are still occasional participants in the always dangerous Salem dating game.
Wisely,
Ruffles McRed
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
With Maggie busy dealing with bad boy Victor and Brady's Kristen problem, Xander has kindly volunteered to take over her column today.
Dear Xander:
I'm madly in love with an attractive young woman, but am making no progress in winning her affections? Any advice.
Lovelorn
Dear Love,
I've got little experience in the romance department, but I'd guess that showing her your softer side (if you have one) would be a good move. That said, I can tell you several things that you should definitely not do: lock her in an overheated crawl space or a cage, work for Kristen DiMera, shoot one of the most popular women in town, and say unkind things about the Fallen Father Eric.
Hope this helps,
Xander
Dear Xander:
I'm madly in love with an attractive young woman, but am making no progress in winning her affections? Any advice.
Lovelorn
Dear Love,
I've got little experience in the romance department, but I'd guess that showing her your softer side (if you have one) would be a good move. That said, I can tell you several things that you should definitely not do: lock her in an overheated crawl space or a cage, work for Kristen DiMera, shoot one of the most popular women in town, and say unkind things about the Fallen Father Eric.
Hope this helps,
Xander
DrBakerFan
Well-Known Member
Dear Ruffles McRed,
My latest true love has dumped me merely because for over a year I hid the fact that he was the father of a certain baby. I should note that I did this at the request of the mother. Now, a handsome, unemployed former CEO is again taking an interest in me. If my true love ever has a change of heart, which man should I choose?
Long Suffering
Dear Suffering,
A quick answer would be none of the above. Your so-called "true love" is a total fool. Withholding information about paternity is too common in Salem to bother about. Anway, if anyone is at fault it's the mother. After all, Sami Brady forgave her rapist, EJ DiMera, and he didn't hold it against her that she once tried to burn him alive in a cabin, shot him in the head while he lay on a bed dead drunk, and later gave away his favorite race car. As for the ex-CEO, he must not be much of a prize either. CEOs in Salem are generally notorious dunces (e.g., Gabi Hernandez and the late, unlamented Stefan O. DiMera) so you could surely do better if you wait.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed
My latest true love has dumped me merely because for over a year I hid the fact that he was the father of a certain baby. I should note that I did this at the request of the mother. Now, a handsome, unemployed former CEO is again taking an interest in me. If my true love ever has a change of heart, which man should I choose?
Long Suffering
Dear Suffering,
A quick answer would be none of the above. Your so-called "true love" is a total fool. Withholding information about paternity is too common in Salem to bother about. Anway, if anyone is at fault it's the mother. After all, Sami Brady forgave her rapist, EJ DiMera, and he didn't hold it against her that she once tried to burn him alive in a cabin, shot him in the head while he lay on a bed dead drunk, and later gave away his favorite race car. As for the ex-CEO, he must not be much of a prize either. CEOs in Salem are generally notorious dunces (e.g., Gabi Hernandez and the late, unlamented Stefan O. DiMera) so you could surely do better if you wait.
Knowingly,
Ruffles McRed