Faux spoilers, part 6

Hoping to increase the ratings during the run-up to the departure of the "golden couple," TPTB once again resort to misleading spoilers.
Sami leaves EJ! [In the park minding the children while she takes an important phone call.]

EJ is shot in the Town Square! [A few paparazzi shoot some photos as he sips his morning coffee.]

Kate makes a shocking discovery about Clyde! [He picks his teeth at the dinner table.]

Will and Sonny talk about a divorce! [They discuss Hope's plans to divorce Bo.]

Theresa pulls the plug on John! [After an argument, she spitefully disconnects the TV in his hospital room.]
 
Realizing that the current adventures of the "golden couple" aren't enough to draw in viewers, TPTB leak still more misleading spoilers.
Sami learns that she is expecting a baby! [She learns that Will is bringing Baby Arianna for a visit.]

Johnny and Sydney vanish! [And are found a few minutes later playing hide and seek in the DiMansion garden.]

Sami sees EJ sharing a moment with another woman! [She sees him in the Town Square telling Julie to mind her own business.]

Stefano slays EJ! [In a rare jovial mood, the Phoenix makes jokes about the Salem P.D. that leave EJ convulsed with laughter.]

Sami makes a shocking discovery in a DiMera mansion bedroom! [She realizes that the place has bedbugs.]
 
In the wake of the apparent death of EJ, TPTB try to keep the drama going by leaking even more misleading spoilers.

Daniel claims that EJ could still be alive!! [If only the bullet had missed his vital organs.]

Sami finds Johnny and Sydney talking to EJ!! [She sees them talking to EJ's photo.]

Clyde is confronted by a bloody EJ!! [Clyde has a bad dream.]

EJ is seen walking in the Town Square. [By a guy who's had way too many at the Pub.]

Sami becomes involved with Aiden! [He helps her with some details relating to EJ's estate.]

Rafe and Roman make an arrest!! [Not Clyde or Miguel, but a Town Square pickpocket.]
 
Fearful that golden couple fans will stop watching Days after Sami leaves for LA to work on the utterly stupid movie project, TPTB release more totally misleading spoilers about some of Salem's favorite locations and characters, hoping that viewers won't remember that their previous spoilers were all completely bogus.

Chad decides to tear down the DiMera mansion! [but quickly changes his mind.]

A fire breaks out at the Kiriakis mansion! Who will survive?! [With the weather getting colder, Henderson lights a fire in the fireplace, which is enjoyed by one and all.]

The Brady Pub closes! [for Thanksgiving Day.]

Paige is horrified by Rory's proposition! [He asks to copy her book report for English class.]

There are shocking events at University Hospital! [Jennifer actually does a full day's work.]

Stefano hits Kate where it hurts! [He reveals that he always suspected she used Botox.]

Jordan reluctantly tells Chad several surprising secrets about her past! [She never liked Clyde's squirrel stew, cheated on a high school quiz, and was once caught smoking in the girl's room.]
 
With the "golden couple" gone from Salem, TPTB try to ramp up interest in Salem's college crowd.

Rory wins the Salem U. Frat Council's Spuds McKenzie Freshman Party Animal award. Eve tells Paige that this is a reason to stay away from JJ.

Rory aces his chemistry exam, JJ gets a B+, while Paige only gets a B-. Eve blames this on JJ saying that he's messing up the grading curve by doing too much studying.

The eccentric English professsor gives JJ's creative paper an A, while Paige's pedestrian effort gets only a B. Eve tells Paige that JJ is holding her back.

Paige receives a letter from the Stanford admissions office reminding her that unless she keeps up her grades at Salem U., her admission to Stanford will be rescinded. A panicked Eve demands that her daughter stay away from JJ.

The Salem U. daily student paper publishes a photo of some happy guys, including JJ, outside the Delta Delta Delta sorority house. Paige jumps to conclusions. Eve says this is further proof that JJ is "no good."
 
Thinking that the viewers love "hate boinks" and cougars, TPTB leak spoilers that promise more of these for Days fans.

Harold and Mary get into a heated argument over how to best polish the DiMera silverware. A moment later they are on the DiMera Love Couch (which thought it would get a break because Sami and EJ were gone).

At the Pub, Rory overhears Anne Milbauer complaining that all Salemites are morons. To prove her wrong, he whips out his A on an organic chemistry exam, which immediately leads to a lusty tryst in the Pub storeroom.

Visiting the hospital for a post-coma check-up, John sees Theresa and a vicious argument starts. Suddenly, a certain look appears on their faces and they repair to Daniel's office for a passionate wrestling match. (Afterwards, John rationalizes his actions as a way to "save" Brady.)

At Club TBD, Julie overhears Chad joking about the demise of Nick Fallon and rips into him. Moments later, they are sharing a heated moment in the Club storeroom. (Naturally, this is overheard by both Abigail and Jordan.)

After they are swamped by negative reactions from viewers, TPTB quickly cut these scenes from future episodes and replace them with clips of Caroline praising Wanchai Ferry kung pao chicken, several new NBC shows, and Ocean Spray cranberry juice.
 
I could get interested in Rory/Anne.

DrBakerFan, your trysts don't have nearly enough hate in them!! LOL

Example: JJ overhears Anne trash-talking Dr McWonder in the Brady Pub, yells at her, she calls him the sniveling spawn of the Perfect Jenn Horton, he grabs her laptop and throws it through a window, she slaps him, and then they defile the tree with Alice & Tom's plaque on it with a fitful boink.

That's a cougar hate boink! LOL/:sick:
 
I could get interested in Rory/Anne.

DrBakerFan, your trysts don't have nearly enough hate in them!! LOL
Sorry, Jason, how about this? Daniel overhears Anne and Jeannie T. mocking Jennifer as a prissy twit who must stink in bed, calling Abigail the town tramp, and saying that JJ is a wannabe/no-talent musician. A furious Daniel rips into Anne, threatening to take the curl out of her hair. Anne snarls that Love Doctor should go home for a shave, a haircut, and a change of clothes, and then tries to strangle him with his stethoscope. Suddenly, as Theresa watches in amazement, they rush off to McScruffy's love nest of an office for the hate boink of all hate boinks (right in front of a framed photo of Jen Jen).
 
Thinking that viewers have just loved Will's rise to literary glory, TPTB release spoilers that promise plots that involve best-sellers written by fan favorites.

Revenge for Dummies by Stefano DiMera. The master of retribution explains easy and simple ways to really get even.

How to Marry a Millionaire by Theresa Donovan. Jeannie T. provides valuable tips for designing women who want to get rich via the matrimonial route.

Your Guide to Going Sleeveless Year-Round by Jennifer Deveraux. Jen Jen reveals how a woman can comfortably wear stylish sleeveless dresses even when winter winds are howling, the snow is piling up, and the temperature dips well below zero.

It Really Is All About You! by Sami Brady. Sami briefly returns to Salem to promote her book detailing how readers can make being totally self-centered a thrilling, successful life style.

Women of the O.R. by Dr. Daniel Jonas. A lavishly-produced coffee-table book filled with striking color photos of attractive women wearing hospital gowns. Each photo is accompanied by astute commentary by Daniel. Coming up next is Daniel's Women of the E.R.

Put Them Down and Shut Them Up by Victor Kiriakis. Salem's master of one-liners tells how to make remarks to annoying people that are scathing, true, and, best of all, humorous. Included are samples of Victor's best lines and an appendix with suggestions on how to stay married to a professional busybody, egg-mommy, and cookie-baker.
 
In an attempt to mute viewer displeasure with the perverse JJ-Eve "encounter," TPTB float alternative spoilers relating to who discovers the dirty secret, hoping to learn which development would be a fan favorite.

Theresa -- who then has to decide whether to blackmail JJ or Eve or both of them.
Jennie -- whose volcanic rant blows Grandma Alice's clock right off the mantel, and which is followed by a visit to Eve that gets so out of hand that the neighbors have to call the Salem P.D.
Anne Milbauer -- who celebrates what she knows will be very bad news for Jen Jen by heading over to the Pub for several drinks.
Ben -- who suspects that this must be part of some convoluted Chad plot.
Jordan -- whose facial expression barely changes when she hears the news.
Stefano -- who is so impressed by what he sees as JJ's boldness that he considers making him an honorary DiMera.
Kate -- who is shocked because she thinks she heard that the lusty couple was Eve and EJ.
Rory -- in an attempt to help JJ, he goes home to watch The Graduate to see how Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman) handled his affair with his girl friend's mother, Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft).

Overwhelmed by even more complaints, the battered TPTB consider telling the writers to edit upcoming episodes so that the whole JJ-Eve affair was a bad dream caused by eating some bad chowder at the Pub.
 
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