Chloe and the 7 Dwarfs

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Oh, my gosh, I am :rotfl: already.
 
Act II

BEHIND THE SCENES

Molly: Where’s my prop guy?
Chris: I’m here sweetie. What do you need?
Molly: Oh, thank heavens you’re here, Chris. Daniel just had a fitting and the seamstress says his pants still aren’t big enough.
Chris: Ooh goodie. That means Daniel will continue to parade around half naked.
Molly: No no no. What it means is that you have to keep making sure that he’s hiding behind some prop or other. Can you do that?
Chris: Sugar, can pigs fly?
Molly: No.
Chris: Honey, have you lost your sense of humor? It’s just a saying, sweetie.
Molly: Sorry Chris. I’m a nervous wreck. Live performances are just so much more taxing.
Chris: No worries, bubbala. I’ll get you a cup of Earl Grey tea. That’ll calm you right down.
Molly: Thanks Chris. Say Chris, you DO know that your role in the show as Queen Kate’s hit man is over. And you don’t have any more scenes. So why are you dressed in a dwarf costume?
Chris: This old thing? Sugar, it’s not a costume. I wear this all the time. Now what do you need me to move and where?
Molly: Start with the mirror. It needs to be hung on that wall over there.


Scene I


Cast of Characters:
Snow White - Chloe
Evil Queen - Kate
Sneezy - Max
Sleepy - Daniel
Dopey - Lucas
Doc - Dr. Baker
Happy - Philip
Bashful - Will
Grumpy - Victor


THE QUEEN’S CASTLE

Queen Kate: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Mirror: Queen Kate, you are dazzling with your rainbow-colored hair; but Snow White is still, by far, the fairest of the fair.
Queen Kate: What did you say???
Mirror: You heard me.
Queen Kate: That can’t be! Snow White is dead.
Mirror: Alas, she is not!
Queen Kate: I saw to her demise myself!
Mirror: Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Queen Kate: Well ... I hired someone. An incompetent boob!
Mirror: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Queen Kate: You’re damn straight! Where is she? Where is Snow White?
Mirror: Let me turn on my GPS Tracker and get the coordinates for you.


Scene II

THE DWARF’S CABIN

Sneezy: What are you doing, Happy?
Happy: I’m adding up our second quarter revenues. Titan Coal Mines has made a 25% profit.
Grumpy: Check your numbers again, lame brain!
Happy: I checked them three times.
Grumpy: You need to subtract the class action lawsuit payouts due to allegations of black lung disease.
Happy: Uh oh, that means we’re operating at a deficit. The shareholders will be P-O'ed.
Sneezy: Achoo!
Snow White: Bless you Sneezy Max! Is that coal dust bothering your allergies again?
Sneezy: Achoo! Yes.
Grumpy: Ah, stuff a sock in it.
Sneezy: I gotta get me some more Claritin.
Dopey: I’m going to the mall today, Sneezy. I’ll get you some.
Sneezy: Thanks, Dopey!
Snow White: Could you drive me into town too, Dopey? I need to buy some fresh produce. I’m going to bake a pie later today.

Molly the Narrator: To be continued...
 
OMG,this story is hilarious.So much better than the crap being played out on screen.I haven't been able to watch that lately because it's so stupid,but your story is great.:)
 
Act III

Cast of Characters:
Snow White - Chloe
Evil Queen - Kate
Sneezy - Max
Sleepy - Daniel
Dopey - Lucas
Doc - Dr. Baker
Happy - Philip
Bashful - Will
Grumpy - Victor


Scene I

THE FARMERS MARKET

Queen Kate disguised as a peddler woman: Can I help you, my pretty?
Snow White: I need a pound of blueberries to make a pie. But these are so expensive. Five dollars for this teeny tiny little pint??? It would cost me $25 just to make a pie for the eight of us.
Peddler Woman: The reason they’re so expensive is because blueberries aren’t in season right now. Why don’t you make an apple pie instead?
Snow White: Hmmm, the dwarfs do like my apple pies. Are these apples fresh?
Peddler Woman: I picked them myself this morning. Try this one and tell me if it isn’t the LAST thing...I mean the BEST thing you’ve ever eaten.

Molly the Narrator: Snow White takes a bite of the apple and falls to the ground. The queen scurries away.


BEHIND THE SCENES

Molly: Nadia! What’s the matter? Are you hurt?
Nadia: Dammit. I broke a nail when I fell. Medic! I need a medic!
Molly: Can you continue the performance?
Nadia: I guess so. I mean, as long as I don’t have to do too much.
Molly: You don’t have much to do at all. Pretty much, you just lie there. The dwarfs will carry you.
Nadia: Well, then, I guess I can manage.
Molly: You’re a true professional, Nadia. A real trooper! You go girl!


Scene II

LATER AT THE DWARF’S CABIN

Molly the Narrator: Dopey carries Snow White into the cabin.
Dopey: Quick, call 8-2-2!
Sneezy: You mean 9-1-1?
Sleepy: What happened to Snowy?
Dopey: I think she’s dead.
Sleepy: Someone, call a doctor!
Molly the Narrator: Doc Baker comes rushing in.
Doc: Oh dear, oh dear. What ever happened to our lovely Miss White?
Dopey: You mean what happened to the lovely BETTY White? After Password Plus got cancelled, she played Sue Ann Nivens in the Mary Tyler Moore Show. She later became one of TV's Golden Girls....
Doc: Oy. Bashful, can YOU tell me what happened?
Bashful: Uh, I don’t know. Um, we came back from the pharmacy and um she was just lying on the ground near uh the produce stand.
Sneezy: Did you get me the Claritin?
Doc: Quick, bring her into my examining room.
Molly the Narrator: The dwarfs take Snow White into the other room. Doc is gone a long while. Eventually, he emerges looking Grimm ... I mean grim.
Sleepy: How is she, Doc?
Doc: She’s gone.
Dopey: Where did she go?
Doc: No, you imbicile! She’s dead.
Happy: Oh no, not Snowy!
Sleepy: But her eyes are wide open!
Doc: Sometimes people die with their eyes open.
Sleepy: She looks exactly the same as she did when she was alive.
Sneezy: Are you crying Grumpy?
Grumpy: Oh shut up!
Bashful: You don’t look very happy, Happy.
Happy: I may never smile again.

Molly the Narrator: To be continued.... Tune in Thursday for the Finale and Friday for the all-important Epilogue.
Dorkay: All-important Epilogue? Who's my little drama queen?
Molly: Uh, that would be me.
 
Superb.....!!! And you forgot Betty White was in the movie Lake Placid, where she had the best line I have ever heard, unfortunately, I can't share it here because it's quite risque....

Love Nadia breaking a nail and being a trooper to carry on...!! Very funny...and Doc Baker is back...!!! YEAH....!!!

Love the story, very imaginative and creative.... :D
 
Great as usual. Also, Betty White is in the new movie just out with Sandra Bullock. I wonder who will be the prince to bring Snow White back to life.
 
Love it. So does Sleepy off himself so he can be with her?
 
I swear you have been watching Carol Burnett skits of late (no, I never saw one like this.....but it has the flavor).........I can just picture this with that group. Are you sure you did not used to write for them? LOLOL
 
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