Yeah, like when Tim Conway played, I think it was Dorf, he was on his knees with shoes attached to make him look short, and did goofy stuff like golf...I can see all these "dwarfs" just like that...
- Status
Yeah, like when Tim Conway played, I think it was Dorf, he was on his knees with shoes attached to make him look short, and did goofy stuff like golf...I can see all these "dwarfs" just like that...
K
kpatch
Guest
Act IV
Cast of Characters:
Snow White - Chloe
Evil Queen - Kate
Prince - Brady
Sneezy - Max
Sleepy - Daniel
Dopey - Lucas
Doc - Dr. Baker
Happy - Philip
Bashful - Will
Grumpy - Victor
Scene I
THE DWARF’S CABIN
Sleepy: How is she, Doc?
Doc: She’s gone.
Dopey: Where did she go?
Doc: No, you imbicile! She’s dead.
Happy: Oh no, not Snowy!
Sneezy: Are you crying, Grumpy?
Grumpy: Oh shut up!
Bashful: You don’t look very happy, Happy.
Happy: I may never smile again.
Scene II
Molly the Narrator: And so it came to pass that the dwarfs fashioned a glass coffin for Snow White that was climate controlled to keep her body cool and fresh as a daisy. It also had digital cable TV and Musak. The seven dwarfs held a truly lovely memorial service for Snow White and left her coffin on display in the front yard so others in the community could come pay their respects.
Scene III
Molly the Narrator: Lo, a few days later, a handsome young prince whose Beemer (no, not Brandon) had a flat tire, came by and happened to notice the glass coffin on the lawn.
Prince Brady: What do we have here? Oh my stars. This dead beauty bears an uncanny resemblance to my first wife. She also had that deer-in-the-headlights look.
Molly the Narrator: He gently lifts the lid to the coffin, startling the dwarfs inside the cabin. The seven dwarfs make their way outside and see Prince Brady kiss Snow White.
Sleepy: Hey, that’s MY woman! Now cut that out!
Molly the Narrator: Suddenly, inexplicably, Snow White’s eyelashes start to flutter. She opens her eyes and sees Prince Brady standing over her.
Snow White: Hi, handsome. Come here often?
Prince Brady: My name is Prince Brady Black. What’s your name?
Snow White: Snow White.
Molly the Narrator: Prince Brady lifts Snow White out of the coffin and carries her toward his Beemer. The Queen, who has been hiding behind a tree, suddenly appears.
Queen Kate: Where do you think you’re taking her?
Prince Brady: Who the hell are you?
Snow White: That’s the evil Queen Kate I was telling you about. She’s made several attempts on my life already!
Molly the Narrator: Grumpy and Dopey head for the well to fetch a pail of water.
Grumpy: I’ve been wanting to do this for years.
Molly the Narrator: Dumpy and Gropey ... I mean Grumpy and Dopey dowse evil Queen Kate with the bucket of water.
Queen Kate: Help, I’m melting. Oh the humanity. Oh, my hair. I’ll get you my pretty ... if it’s the last thing I do. And your mangy dog too.
Molly the Narrator: The evil queen goes up in flames, then melts into a big fat puddle of nothing.
Prince Brady [to Snow]: Are you ready to go?
Snow White: You betcha. Can we stop at MacDonalds? I’m starving.
Molly the Narrator: Prince Brady changes the flat tire and off they go, as the dwarfs bid them fare thee well.
Scene IV
Molly the Narrator: Soon afterward, Snow White and Prince Brady Black were married with all the dwarfs serving as groomsmen. Brady and Snowy opened a chain of clothing stores called “Black and White Boutiques,” with the flagship store located in the old Titan Coal Mine. The Prince and Snow White hired the dwarfs as sales clerks.
And they lived happily ever after ... well, all except for Grumpy, who’s never happy unless he’s grumpy. The end.
Molly the Narrator: Tune in tomorrow for a most amusing and unusual Epilogue. It’s worth taking time out of your day to tune in. In fact, you’ll be sorry if you don’t!
Dorkay: I told you to quit being such a drama queen!
Molly: Oops, I didn’t realize you were still there, Dick. Sorry. Anyways, tune in tomorrow for the Epilogue.
Cast of Characters:
Snow White - Chloe
Evil Queen - Kate
Prince - Brady
Sneezy - Max
Sleepy - Daniel
Dopey - Lucas
Doc - Dr. Baker
Happy - Philip
Bashful - Will
Grumpy - Victor
Scene I
THE DWARF’S CABIN
Sleepy: How is she, Doc?
Doc: She’s gone.
Dopey: Where did she go?
Doc: No, you imbicile! She’s dead.
Happy: Oh no, not Snowy!
Sneezy: Are you crying, Grumpy?
Grumpy: Oh shut up!
Bashful: You don’t look very happy, Happy.
Happy: I may never smile again.
Scene II
Molly the Narrator: And so it came to pass that the dwarfs fashioned a glass coffin for Snow White that was climate controlled to keep her body cool and fresh as a daisy. It also had digital cable TV and Musak. The seven dwarfs held a truly lovely memorial service for Snow White and left her coffin on display in the front yard so others in the community could come pay their respects.
Scene III
Molly the Narrator: Lo, a few days later, a handsome young prince whose Beemer (no, not Brandon) had a flat tire, came by and happened to notice the glass coffin on the lawn.
Prince Brady: What do we have here? Oh my stars. This dead beauty bears an uncanny resemblance to my first wife. She also had that deer-in-the-headlights look.
Molly the Narrator: He gently lifts the lid to the coffin, startling the dwarfs inside the cabin. The seven dwarfs make their way outside and see Prince Brady kiss Snow White.
Sleepy: Hey, that’s MY woman! Now cut that out!
Molly the Narrator: Suddenly, inexplicably, Snow White’s eyelashes start to flutter. She opens her eyes and sees Prince Brady standing over her.
Snow White: Hi, handsome. Come here often?
Prince Brady: My name is Prince Brady Black. What’s your name?
Snow White: Snow White.
Molly the Narrator: Prince Brady lifts Snow White out of the coffin and carries her toward his Beemer. The Queen, who has been hiding behind a tree, suddenly appears.
Queen Kate: Where do you think you’re taking her?
Prince Brady: Who the hell are you?
Snow White: That’s the evil Queen Kate I was telling you about. She’s made several attempts on my life already!
Molly the Narrator: Grumpy and Dopey head for the well to fetch a pail of water.
Grumpy: I’ve been wanting to do this for years.
Molly the Narrator: Dumpy and Gropey ... I mean Grumpy and Dopey dowse evil Queen Kate with the bucket of water.
Queen Kate: Help, I’m melting. Oh the humanity. Oh, my hair. I’ll get you my pretty ... if it’s the last thing I do. And your mangy dog too.
Molly the Narrator: The evil queen goes up in flames, then melts into a big fat puddle of nothing.
Prince Brady [to Snow]: Are you ready to go?
Snow White: You betcha. Can we stop at MacDonalds? I’m starving.
Molly the Narrator: Prince Brady changes the flat tire and off they go, as the dwarfs bid them fare thee well.
Scene IV
Molly the Narrator: Soon afterward, Snow White and Prince Brady Black were married with all the dwarfs serving as groomsmen. Brady and Snowy opened a chain of clothing stores called “Black and White Boutiques,” with the flagship store located in the old Titan Coal Mine. The Prince and Snow White hired the dwarfs as sales clerks.
And they lived happily ever after ... well, all except for Grumpy, who’s never happy unless he’s grumpy. The end.
Molly the Narrator: Tune in tomorrow for a most amusing and unusual Epilogue. It’s worth taking time out of your day to tune in. In fact, you’ll be sorry if you don’t!
Dorkay: I told you to quit being such a drama queen!
Molly: Oops, I didn’t realize you were still there, Dick. Sorry. Anyways, tune in tomorrow for the Epilogue.
Minnie
Well-Known Member
HAHAHAHAHA!! Now she is Snow Black!! 
sportzgirl916
Well-Known Member
HAHAHAHAHA!! Now she is Snow Black!!
or Snow White-Black. Of course the prince is Brady (insert forehead slap here)
Love it!!
Ok, we also got some references to Jack & Jill and The Wizard of Oz in here. I just miss the flying monkeys and Toto too.:D
Another great story kpatch!!!
Looking forward but sad for the epilogue....:(
Hilarous KPatch! What a great laugh to start the day! I too saw "Dorfs" instead of Dwarfs when I was picturing this in my head.
Remember when Days did the fairy tale with Shane as the king when Eve was missing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QpCSDAGG60 - sorry for those at work who can't see this!
Remember when Days did the fairy tale with Shane as the king when Eve was missing? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QpCSDAGG60 - sorry for those at work who can't see this!
krw627
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2008
- Messages
- 481
- Reaction score
- 1,703
- Location
- Baden, PA (just north of Pittsburgh)
- Website
- www.therapyfailed.blogspot.com
Excellent, as always!
Kpatch...another fabulous story! Love that Brady and Snow end up together...as it should be.
Kpatch...another fabulous story! Love that Brady and Snow end up together...as it should be.
redsquirrel
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2008
- Messages
- 10,171
- Reaction score
- 37,148
fantastic!!
K
kpatch
Guest
Epilogue
NBC STUDIOS
Dorkay: Congrats, Molly! Seven Dwarfs was a hit! Listen to some of these rave reviews here in the Spectator:
sportzgirl916 - Yay!!! A new story from kpatch!!!
Andre DiMera - I cannot wait to see this! It is gonna be awesome!
hjnewt - Looking forward to it.
beckaboo - Sounds great!
Joyb - Love it. Trying hard not to laugh as I am in the office.
redquirrel - OMG, I'm just lovin' this!!!!!! Fantastic.
PAllison - Love the story, very imaginative and creative.
Minnie - That is the funniest death scene I have ever read!
Poirot - Oh my gosh, toooo toooo delicious.
lulu1978 - OMG, this story is hilarious.
txlala - Applause, applause.
kate<3fan - This story is really funny. Great job as usual!
Kym - What a great laugh to start the day!
krw627 - Another fabulous story!
SarahBeth - That was teeeeeriffic.
Molly: Wow, I’m flattered! That’s really nice of everyone, Dick. But I have to admit that I’m glad it’s over.
Dorkay: Why is that?
Molly: That play nearly killed me. I never realized what prima donnas all the actors are. I’m exhausted.
Dorkay: Stop being such a drama queen. That was only a simple little four-act play. You can’t possibly be worn out.
Molly: Live performances are much harder than film. I need a vacation.
Dorkay: Well, make it a quick one. I need you back here for kpatch’s next story.
Molly: What??? You’ve got to be joking.
Dorkay: I never joke. I was born without a sense of humor. What’s the problem?
Molly: I told you. I’m burned out. I need some time off.
Dorkay: Okay okay okay. I’ll call kpatch and let her know she’ll have to do her next story without you. [Dials kpatch’s number.]
kpatch: Hello.
Dorkay: Listen kpatch, Molly isn’t going to be able to help you out with your next story.
kpatch: Who’s this?
Dorkay: Dick Dorkay.
kpatch: Sorry, I don’t know any Dick Dorkay. [click]
Dorkay: That’s odd. She said she doesn’t know who we are.
Molly: That’s impossible.
Dorkay: Oh, I just figured out why she said that. She’s told me in the past that she hates when I start talking without saying who I am and just assume she recognizes my voice.
Molly: Well, that IS a tad pompous and egotistical.
Dorkay: Writers can be so prissy and temperamental. Sometimes I just can’t stand that woman. I’d fire her if her stories weren’t so popular. And what kind of stupid name is kpatch anyway? I can’t even freaking pronounce it.
Molly: It’s pronounced Kay-Patch and it’s Russian. It means “I wanted the screen name ‘Kayla and Patch’ but I hit the Submit button too early.”
Dorkay: I’ll call her back.
Molly: Be nice.
Dorkay [Hits redial]: kpatch, this is Dick Dorkay. How are you? Listen, Molly needs a little vacation. Can you handle the next story without us?
kpatch: Talk about pompous and egotistical! And Molly calls the ACTORS prima donnas??? You and Molly certainly overinflate your contributions to my stories, Dick. Despite what you say, I write them all by myself.
Dorkay: Fine fine fine. Whatever. Glad to hear you can handle it without us. What’s your next story about anyway?
kpatch: Oh, this next one will knock your socks off! But it's not a comedy. It’s a drama. It’s about... wait a second. I’m not going to tell you the plot just like that.
Dorkay: What do you mean?
kpatch: You’ll have to wait for the official preview, just like everyone else.
Dorkay [rolling his eyes]: And when can we expect the “official” preview?
kpatch: One day next week. Probably Monday.
Dorkay: So, not even a little hint before then?
kpatch: Well, okay. Did you ever see the movie 9 to 5?
Dorkay: 9 to 5 is a comedy, not a drama. Someone once told me that the boss character in 9 to 5 reminded them of me.
kpatch: I can understand why. Anyway, tune in Monday for the official preview of my next story....
NBC STUDIOS
Dorkay: Congrats, Molly! Seven Dwarfs was a hit! Listen to some of these rave reviews here in the Spectator:
sportzgirl916 - Yay!!! A new story from kpatch!!!
Andre DiMera - I cannot wait to see this! It is gonna be awesome!
hjnewt - Looking forward to it.
beckaboo - Sounds great!
Joyb - Love it. Trying hard not to laugh as I am in the office.
redquirrel - OMG, I'm just lovin' this!!!!!! Fantastic.
PAllison - Love the story, very imaginative and creative.
Minnie - That is the funniest death scene I have ever read!
Poirot - Oh my gosh, toooo toooo delicious.
lulu1978 - OMG, this story is hilarious.
txlala - Applause, applause.
kate<3fan - This story is really funny. Great job as usual!
Kym - What a great laugh to start the day!
krw627 - Another fabulous story!
SarahBeth - That was teeeeeriffic.
Molly: Wow, I’m flattered! That’s really nice of everyone, Dick. But I have to admit that I’m glad it’s over.
Dorkay: Why is that?
Molly: That play nearly killed me. I never realized what prima donnas all the actors are. I’m exhausted.
Dorkay: Stop being such a drama queen. That was only a simple little four-act play. You can’t possibly be worn out.
Molly: Live performances are much harder than film. I need a vacation.
Dorkay: Well, make it a quick one. I need you back here for kpatch’s next story.
Molly: What??? You’ve got to be joking.
Dorkay: I never joke. I was born without a sense of humor. What’s the problem?
Molly: I told you. I’m burned out. I need some time off.
Dorkay: Okay okay okay. I’ll call kpatch and let her know she’ll have to do her next story without you. [Dials kpatch’s number.]
kpatch: Hello.
Dorkay: Listen kpatch, Molly isn’t going to be able to help you out with your next story.
kpatch: Who’s this?
Dorkay: Dick Dorkay.
kpatch: Sorry, I don’t know any Dick Dorkay. [click]
Dorkay: That’s odd. She said she doesn’t know who we are.
Molly: That’s impossible.
Dorkay: Oh, I just figured out why she said that. She’s told me in the past that she hates when I start talking without saying who I am and just assume she recognizes my voice.
Molly: Well, that IS a tad pompous and egotistical.
Dorkay: Writers can be so prissy and temperamental. Sometimes I just can’t stand that woman. I’d fire her if her stories weren’t so popular. And what kind of stupid name is kpatch anyway? I can’t even freaking pronounce it.
Molly: It’s pronounced Kay-Patch and it’s Russian. It means “I wanted the screen name ‘Kayla and Patch’ but I hit the Submit button too early.”
Dorkay: I’ll call her back.
Molly: Be nice.
Dorkay [Hits redial]: kpatch, this is Dick Dorkay. How are you? Listen, Molly needs a little vacation. Can you handle the next story without us?
kpatch: Talk about pompous and egotistical! And Molly calls the ACTORS prima donnas??? You and Molly certainly overinflate your contributions to my stories, Dick. Despite what you say, I write them all by myself.
Dorkay: Fine fine fine. Whatever. Glad to hear you can handle it without us. What’s your next story about anyway?
kpatch: Oh, this next one will knock your socks off! But it's not a comedy. It’s a drama. It’s about... wait a second. I’m not going to tell you the plot just like that.
Dorkay: What do you mean?
kpatch: You’ll have to wait for the official preview, just like everyone else.
Dorkay [rolling his eyes]: And when can we expect the “official” preview?
kpatch: One day next week. Probably Monday.
Dorkay: So, not even a little hint before then?
kpatch: Well, okay. Did you ever see the movie 9 to 5?
Dorkay: 9 to 5 is a comedy, not a drama. Someone once told me that the boss character in 9 to 5 reminded them of me.
kpatch: I can understand why. Anyway, tune in Monday for the official preview of my next story....
valegirl
Active Member
I want to add my comment!
Greaaaaaat writing kpatch as always. I am one of your biggest fans. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next one. Right now I am "jonesing from the the preemp for Wimbeldon. I can predict the outcome. It will be a Williams that is the winner. Like American Idol was a David last season.
:smile: Margie
Greaaaaaat writing kpatch as always. I am one of your biggest fans. Keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next one. Right now I am "jonesing from the the preemp for Wimbeldon. I can predict the outcome. It will be a Williams that is the winner. Like American Idol was a David last season.
:smile: Margie
sportzgirl916
Well-Known Member
I should have learned by now NOT to be drinking coffee when I am reading here. One cannot laugh and be swallowing at the same time.
Yeah, thank goodness I had just finished mine!!! :smile:
Looking forward to Monday's preview. Have a great holiday weekend kpatch!
Minnie
Well-Known Member
That was great. I'm really looking forward to the next one. 
DJM
Well-Known Member
Just got to read the story kpatch. Boy was it ever good. Just loved Grumpy. Evil Kate was great for the role. Loved the way she was ended like the evil witch in the wizzard of oz. Thanks for the wonderful story.
- Status