Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 17

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Just Samantha

Just Samantha

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Facebook post from Allie: I like living at the DiMansion and having game night with Nono. He loves Operation because he said he's had lots of experience taking out people's brains. Nono is so funny!!

Reply from Lucas: Yeah.... real funny..... :rolleyes: By the way, Stefano DiMera IS NOT your "Nono". You have Grandpa Roman and Grandpa Bill, who love you very much.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP, Lucas! My smoochy-moochy and his daddy both changed and are wonderful men who love the children unconditionally.

Reply from Lucas: Yep.... Stefano sure has lots of experience in removing people's brains.....
 
Tweet from the Wicked Witch of the East: I'm sick and tired of a certain Kristen Blake DiMera being called a witch. This vile woman isn't fit to be a witch, and she's giving all of us a bad name.

Reply from the Wicked Witch of the West: You're sick? This DiMera woman being called a witch makes me want to throw up into my cauldron. I've got half a mind to cast a spell that will ruin her plans to wed that muscular dunderhead.

Reply from Satan: What about me? People are always comparing me to Stefano DiMera. Me? That guy gives evil-doers a bad name. The names Satan and Stefano shouldn't ever be uttered in the same sentence.

Reply from Samantha of Bewitched: You witches think you have it bad. I'm getting it from two directions. Calling that awful Kristen a witch is an insult to all us witches, but I've also got the same name as that professional blonde screecher, Sami Brady. How bad is that?

Reply from Sami: Hey, Bewitched lady -- you should be glad that I'm named Samantha. I'm finally giving the name a touch of class. I HATE you!!
 
Reply from the ghost of Samantha Evans: Oh dear namesake, Samantha Gene, I was the one who gave class to the name first! And don't you forget it, my pretty.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU, TOO!

Reply from Will: It's no big deal, ghost of Great Aunt Samantha, she hates everybody except herself and her "smoochy-moochy".

Reply from Lucas: True, that! Being hated by Sami doesn't really take up much of your time.
 
Tweet from a St. Luke's parishioner: OMG!! Father Eric was just attacked by a groom at a wedding. And a filthy sex tape was shown in church!! How could something like this happen??!!
Reply from a St. Luke's altar boy: A sex tape! Wow! Why did I turn down today's wedding assignment?
Reply from Rory: I'm glad I wasn't there. A scene like that would have had me thinking that I'd smoked some tainted dope.
Reply from JJ: Punching a priest and showing porn in church? And people thought I was public enemy number one for selling a little pot, throwing one punch, and breaking a few windows.
Reply from Father Matt: Can this story be true? Things like this never happened at the Baptist church on Walton's Mountain. Now I'll have to have St. Luke's fumigated.
Reply from Bishop Wright: St. Luke's has been defiled. It needs more than fumigation. I'll have to have it reconsecrated.
Reply from St. Luke's parishioner 2: This is the last straw. I'm switching parishes. I want a church that is DiMera-free.
Reply from St. Luke's parishioners 3, 4, 5, and 6: Me too!
Reply from Sami: How dare you quit my twin brother's church over a minor incident. This kind of thing is normal in Salem. I HATE you!!!!
 
Facebook post from John: Hey Doc, I heard you devastated both of our sons with one shot.

Reply from Sami: It was your stupid old girlfriend who did that, not my mom. Stupid stinky Kristen lied to poor Brady and raped Eric! Disgusting. I HATE HER!

Reply from Lucas: Need I point out the obvious here, Sami? Hasn't EJ done the same thing??

Reply from Sami: Shut up, Lucas! My sm......

Reply from Lucas: (cutting off Sami): Yes, I know, your smoochy-moochy has changed... yeah, yeah, I know.... And before you say, it, I know... you HATE ME!!
 
Facebook post from Susan Banks Crumb: I hear that mean, mean, mean Kristen had another ruined wedding! Why can't that woman learn from her mistakes? I'm glad my sweet baby Elvis isn't anything like that evil woman.

Reply from the people of Salem: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP people of Salem! I HATE you!
 
Facebook post from Johnny, Allie and Sydney: Mommy, doesn't Nono love us?? He's kidnapped Grandma Marlena, Grandpa Roman, Grandpa John, you, Uncle Eric and Aunt Carrie. He never kidnapped us. Doesn't he love us, too??

Reply from Sami: Well, Sydney, honey, Daddy loved you enough to kidnap you, does that count?

Reply from Johnny and Allie: What about us? Why hasn't anyone kidnapped us?

Reply from the people of Salem: Give it time......
 
Post from St-Luke's church : Oh, I can't believe I've been violated like I have. The infamous video :sick: has now been shown three times. :sick: Pardon me, I keep having a gag reflex. :sick: I can't help but feel that in this case, three times is definitely not the charm. :sick: And crazy Brady is now attacking Father Eric, yet again. Two brothers fighting, twice in one day ! Oh, where is our world coming to ? :eek:

Reply from Sofie, the Dimera couch : I'm right there with you, dear old church. :cry::hug: If ever you need to be fumigated, please leave some of the chemicals for me.
 
Facebook post from John: Starting to feel like Doc and I are Adam and Eve, with our sons Cane and Abel.

Reply from Sami: You are so stoopid, your sons names are Brady and Eric. How can you not even know the names of your own kids?? Idiot.

Reply from Will: Really, mom??

Reply from Sami: Wally, stop picking on me! I know the names of my 5 kids: Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby.

Reply from Will: Great job, mom..... :rolleyes:

Reply from Sami: Thanks honey! Wilbur, you are my favorite, but don't tell the others.

Reply from Lucas: Wow....
 
Tweet from the detective who's job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to members of his "Mock Rafe" group: OMG, St. Luke's was a total crime scene today. Titan dimwit Brady Black beat up a priest and old man Kiriakis showed a sex tape -- all while Hope Brady was there!
Reply from Member 2: Did Hope arrest Black?
Reply from Member 1: Surely you jest. His name is Brady Black.
Reply from Member 2: What about Victor Kiriakis?
Reply from Member 1: Not a chance. He can't be arrested for anything, just like Stefano DiMera.
Reply from Member 3: I heard about that tape! It's evidence that Kristen DiMera drugged and raped the priest.
Reply from Member 2: I know this is a dumb question, but has Hope arrested Kristen?
Reply from Member 3: Of course not. She went to Club TBD for a latte.
Reply from Bo Brady: I can see that nothing has changed since I left Salem. Best regards from Tahiti.
Reply from Marge Bernardi: By now, my murdered, hero cop husband would have arrested Brady, Victor, and Kristen. Without him, the Salem P.D. is hopeless.
Reply from Member 4: Should we track down Kristen and arrest her?
Reply from Member 1: Why bother -- arresting DiMeras is always a waste of time. Let's join Hope over at Club TBD for a latte. I've heard that they're the best in Salem, even better than Starbucks.
 
Tweet from Harold: Ha! I showed that Hope Brady. I asked if she had a warrant and she just slunk away. Maybe Mr. Stefano and Mr. EJ will give me a nice raise.

Reply from Bo Brady: Warrant!? The Salem P.D. doesn't need no stinkin' warrants. I'd have gone to another entrance and broken in. Best regards from Bora Bora.

Reply from EJ: Sorry Harold -- no raise. Working for the DiMeras is its own rich reward. P.S., clean and Scotchgard the Love Couch. If that Kristen-Eric sex tape has put Samanther in the mood, I want it ready for action.

Reply from the Love Couch: Noooooooooo!!!
 
Tweet from the detective who's job was saved when Bo Brady left the Salem P.D. to members of his "Mock Rafe" group: There was a big accident. It looks as if Nicole Walker ran Kristen DiMera's car right off the road.

Reply from Member 2: Is the wicked witch dead? I hope, I hope.

Reply from Member 3: No word on that, but the latest is that no charges will be filed against Nicole Walker. Roman Brady has somehow decided that fog was to blame.

Reply from Member 4: Finally, Roman does something right. Perhaps the mayor, whoever he or she is, can give Nicole a medal and the key to the city for ridding us of a particularly odious DiMera.

Reply from Bo Brady: It's good to see that not prosecuting people for crimes against DIMeras is now official policy. Now if only somebody would get Elvis Junior. Best regards from Pago Pago.

Reply from Kristen: Catch me if you can. P.S., I just know in my heart that Brady still loves me.
 
Further reply from Kristen: By the way, it wasn't me in the video with the holy Father Eric. It was Susan Banks Crumb. That stupid woman was always on the lookout for a hot man.

Reply from EJ: How DARE you???!! I have no problem with you ruining the reputation of my smoochy-moochy's twin brother, but bloody hell if you'll sully the good name of my sainted mother! Hope you run far, far away, you evil witch!! Good riddance!

Reply from Sami: Wait....what?? You're OK with that witch sister of yours ruining MY twin's reputation, but you won't have her saying anything about your mummy?? I HATE you!!

Reply from the people of Salem: :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

Reply from EJ: Sorry sweethot, I've changed, I didn't mean that.

Reply from Sami: Oh, my sweet smoochy-moochy, I know you didn't mean it. After all, you're the father of 4 of my children. Kisses!!

Reply from the people of Salem: :sick::sick::sick::sick::sick::sick:
 
Facebook post from Will: Hey everybody! I'm back from California! Did I miss anything? At the seminar we read a book called the Thornbirds. Crazy stuff, about a priest who gives in to to his lust of the flesh and has sex with some woman. Can you imagine that??

Reply from Marlena: Uhhh, Will, honey, we need to talk. A lot went down while you were gone.
 
Tweet from Ciara: Mom, I'm enjoying my trip with Grandpa Doug
and Grandma Julie. I think they are hiding a secret from me.
They were upset after they talked to you on the phone. Mom, how did
the wedding go? Did Kristen and Brady miss me since I wasn't there?

Reply from Hope: Ciara, I'm glad you're having a good time. I think
you can stay gone a little longer.
 
Parishoner 1 to Eric Brady: WHERE'S YOUR HONOR, DIRTBAG? YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR THE COLLAR!
Parishoner 2 to Eric Brady: YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT!
Reply from Sami Brady: HOW DARE YOU! MY POOR TWIN BROTHER WAS RAPED, DAMMIT! YOU ARE THE DISGRACES AND EMBARRASSMENTS! I HATE YOU!

Will Horton: I'm gone one week. ONE. WEEK. And everything's gone to hell! It's like that one gif they always show on Tumblr, with the guy coming into a room with pizzas and the room is in flames!
 
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