Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 19

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Tweet from Titan TV viewer no. 1: OMG, big news. According to Titan TV, Kristen DiMera went out of a castle window in Italy and is presumed dead!

Reply from viewer no. 2: Nah, she's still alive -- she probably turned into a bat and flew away.

Reply from viewer no. 3: Or she flew away on her pocket broom.

Reply from Sami: That witch, Kate Roberts, also flies on a broom. I HATE her!

Reply from Will: Once again, Mom, focus. Number one on our hate list now is home-wrecker Paul Narita and his father, John Black! He's going to bring Paul back to Salem! I know! I know!

Reply from Sami: John Black!? I HATE him! He ruined my life!

Reply from Sonny: Sigh, and just when I thought things might be getting better.
 
Facebook post from Sami: I HATE Paul Yakisoba! He seduced my poor little boy. No, he drugged him, then seduced him. No, wait, he kidnapped him, drugged him and then seduced him. Yeah, that's it! He's pond-scum.

Reply from Will: That's right, mom! That's exactly how it happened. It wasn't my fault, at all.

Reply from Sonny: Sigh..... If anybody needs me, I'll be in Horton Town Square, banging my head against the brick wall.

Reply from Lucas: Already there.... I'll see you in a few minutes.
 
Tweet from Jeannie T: Hey Salem, thanks to the heroism of Brady Black, Melanie Jonas, and Marlena Evans, I've been reunited with my darling baby. You can bet that from now on I'm going to be Salem's best mother!

Reply from Eve: Hey, sis, those thanks were a little much. That said, I am Salem's best mother. Who else would go to any length to save her daughter from a lowlife who's sure to break her heart.

Reply from Jenny: Grrrr. Eve, you're all wrong on two points. My son is a fine young man (any girl would be lucky to have him), and I'm Salem's best mother. Who else would fight so hard to see that her son and his true love stay together?

Reply from the Love Doctor: Sorry ladies, but my wonderful egg-mommy, Maggie, is Salem's best mother. In fact, she's so good that I can barely remember the name of the woman who raised me and used to kiss my boo-boos to make them better.

Reply from Sami: Get a grip people. Even though I'm temporarily the Queen of Hollywood, I remain Salem's BEST mother. P.S., all good mothers should see that their children use "Truly Radiant" spin toothbrushes.

Reply from Victor: Good mother? You raised a sniveling brat who's nothing but a common adulterer and who's unworthy to be the husband of my beloved nephew, Sonny.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP you old doody-headed grouch! I HATE you!
 
From Baby Black, a/k/a the baby formerly known as Christopher:

Mommy, Daddy, Please, Pretty Please don't name me Melvin or any form of Daniel. Mel as a middle name I might learn to live with it IF you HAVE to name me after your giggly "friend". Just please THINK before you name me.
 
Facebook post from Stefano DiMera: Wow. I cannot believe I was ever in love with that daughter-killing [censored], Marlena Evans! SHE WILL PAY!

Reply from Will Horton: You know, if Paul hadn't come to Salem to steal my husband, I wouldn't have had to send Grandma to San Francisco. So really, it's Paul's fault. Paul Narita. Ex-baseball player. Who lives in San Francisco.

Reply from Stefano DiMera: He's not the one who killed her!

Reply from Will Horton: Okay...but, if Victor hadn't given Grandma the wrong address, then Grandma wouldn't have gone to Italy in the first place. So, it's Victor's fault Kristen is dead. You know, Victor Kiriakis.

Reply from Stefano DiMera: ...Don't you have an article to write?
 
Reply from Sami Brady: It's John Black's fault! It's ALWAYS John Black's fault. Remember how he ruined my life when he had se.......[cut off by Roman's post].

Reply from Roman: Dammit, Sami! Put a sock in it!
 
Tweet from Will: Hi, everyone! Having a great time in Poplar Bluff! Everyone seems to love Clyde! Here's a picture of the police patch that I got for Grandpa Roman's collection. See you soon.

Poplar Bluff patch.jpg

Reply from Rafe: Some journalist you are. Instead of collecting police patches, why didn't you ask the officers about Clyde? Rumors? Past arrests? Convictions? Complaints?

Reply from Victor: You dolt, ask the locals if any bodies have turned up, buried in odd places.

Reply Sami: SHUT UP you doody-heads! My son is a great researcher and journalist! If his investigation of this Floyd or LLoyd or Hyde or Slyde or Clyde or whatever shows that he's a great guy it's true. I HATE you!
 
Facebook post from Samantha Gene Brady Dimera: Hey did you hear, I have a new nephew/cousin!

Reply from J. Theresa Donovan: Sami why must you steal my spotlight?

Reply Samantha Gene Brady Dimera: He is MY nephew/cousin! Shut up Jeannie I HATE You!

Reply from J. Theresa Donovan: Don't call me Jeannie
 
Reply from Sami: Whatever, Jeannie. By the way, I can't wait to see Christopher when I come home to visit.

Reply from J. Theresa Donovan: Don't call him Christopher! His name is Tate.

Reply from Sami: Christopher, Chris, Topher, Tater, whatever. As long as you didn't name him after that doody-head, John Black, like I did with my son. Did I ever tell you how John ruined my life??

Reply from J. Theresa Donovan: Ummmm, yeah, as I recall, you have it printed on your business cards.
 
Reply from Sami: Of course I put it on my business cards. Everyone should know what a life wrecker that miserable John Black is.

Reply from Jeannie T.: John Black is bad, but so are Jenny Deveraux, her stoopid son and daughter, and that scruffy lover-boy doctor, Daniel Jonas. I HATE them!

Reply from Sami: Forget the small fry and focus. John Black is the worst. He's so bad that if you get mad and swing a bat or poker, he'll stick his big head in the way just to make you look bad. Concussions and comas are a walk in the park for him.

Reply from Jeannie T.: I can relate to that.

Reply from Will: Please Mom, focus. Right now, you're supposed to hate husband-stealer Paul Narita!

Reply from Sami: The polo player? Forget him. I HATE John Black. Why doesn't that doody-headed Stefano kidnap him and have him thrown out of a castle window?

Reply from Marlena: OMG. Where did I go wrong? My daughter and her son are almost as crazy as Stefano.

Reply from Sami: It wasn't you, Mom. It was John Black! I HATE him!
 
Facebook post from Paige: OMG, I just found out that my mother had sex with my boyfriend. UGH! I HATE THEM!

Reply from Sami: Did you catch them on a conference room table?? I did and let me tell you, it ruined, just RUINED, my life. That stoopid doody-head John Black RUINED my life and I'll never, ever recover from that trauma. Every bad choice I've ever made in my life is due to John Black.

Reply from Paul: See John, poor Sami has been scarred for life because you're a big, giant hypocrite.

Reply from Sami: That's right Paul, you tell him! Hey, I like you, we should be friends. Do you want some Arm and Hammer Pro Spin Brushes?!

Reply from Will: Ummm, mom, this is the jerk who kidnapped me, drugged me and forced me into having sex with him and cheating on Sonny. It's all his fault that my marriage is falling apart.

Reply from Sami: Wait, this is him?? And isn't he John Black's kid? See, once again, John Black has managed to ruin my life.

Reply from Paige: HEY, this is about me finding out my mom and boyfriend had sex. Can we focus???

Reply from Sami: Oh, get over yourself, Patty. As long as your mom didn't have sex with John Black, you'll be fine. Tell you what, I'll send you a gift bag filled with Truly Radiant oral products. With a fresh mouth and pearly white teeth, you'll forget all about your troubles and start smiling again.

Reply from JJ: I think Sami has a point, just forget about everything and smile more. Abby even offered to make you a new birthday cake.

Reply from Sami: Abby is a two-bit hussy who slept with my husband. Somehow that was John Black's fault, too.

Reply from Paige: Grandpa Shane and Grandma Kimberly, can I come and live with you????
 
Tweet from Will: Great news, Salem! I'll be writing a cover story for Sonix about the Salem U. student who had sex with his girlfriend's mother -- not once, but five times! Look for all the exciting, shocking details in an upcoming issue!

Reply from Jennifer: How dare you!! RANT ... RANT ... RANT ... RANT ... !!!!

Reply from JJ: You *%#@&*!!!

Reply from Eve: You little weasel. Write about this and I'll wring your scrawny neck!

Reply from Cole: Mention my name and you're a dead man!

Reply from Daniel: Will, this is not wise. We need to talk.

Reply from Will: I will not be dissuaded. As a dedicated journalist, nothing will ever deter me from uncovering all the facts about a story!

Reply from Clyde and Jeremiah: :rotfl::rotfl:
 
Tweet from Elsa: OMG, my dear Justin won't be coming back to Dubai because that horrible, old Victor Kiriakis is forcing him to be the head of some third-rate cosmetics company! I HATE him!

Reply from Kimberly: You bet that Victor is horrible! I could tell you things about him that would make your hair curl! I can't wait to get my beloved daughter, Jeannie, and her adorable baby away from him.

Reply from Chloe: Victor? He's awful. Whenever I had the misfortune to meet him, he said hateful things to me.

Reply from Nicole: Yep, Victor's zinged me more than a few times too, but I do like to yank his chain.

Reply from Maggie: Oh dear, apparently the word hasn't gotten out to everyone -- unlike that awful EJ DiMera, Victor has really changed. Now, he's just an old cuddle-bunny who loves his warm milk and home-baked cookies.

Reply from Sami: Hey Maggie, how dare you insult my darling smoochy-moochy! He did so change! P.S. the food at Chez Rouge is awful and the advice in your Ruffles McRed column stinks! I HATE you!
 
Tweet from @JTheresaD: I can't believe my mom fell for it! Score!

Reply from @SalemWrapDress: We are gonna live in the lap of luxury!

Reply from @JTheresaD: I have Brady right where I want him too!

Reply from @ExFatherEric: Theresa...

Reply from @BradyVBlack: Do you really think I can't see your tweets, Theresa?!?

Reply from @TaterTotB: Ugh here they go already...

Reply from @GingerEggSpawn: Told ya so @BradyVBlack

Reply from @KimDonovan: Wait until I tell your father and your probation officer about this!

Post from JTheresaD: I didn't realize all these annoying people are on twitter too! Except for you my sweet, precious @TaterTotB!
 
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