Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 21

Facebook post from Paul Narita: I'm no fashion expert, but, something tells me this weird Hawaiian print/geometric shirt/shimmery suit combo isn't gonna impress anyone.

Reply from Gabi Hernandez: Yeah, and honestly, I doubt anyone would buy a potholder dress.

Reply from Kate Roberts: You two can be replaced, you know!
 
Facebook post from Melanie to Maggie: Gramma, I got a new black dress and I can't figure out which shoes to wear. Do I wear my black heels or my gold ballet flats? Decisions, decisions! This is so hard! Gramma, you have no idea how hard this is for me to choose! It's just taking up my whole day! Help! Kisses!!
 
Salem social media explodes after the news about Daniel's fatal injury becomes public.

Stefano: No matter what any of you may think, I had nothing, nothing to do with this. Neither did Andre (I think).

Salem'sBestDad: OMG, I was scheduled for miracle gall bladder surgery with Dr. Jonas. What will I do now? Woe is me.

John: This is a tragedy. That's a fact. And there goes my chance for a miracle brain rejuvenation.

SalemHottie: Sorry about Dr. Jonas, but when I was his patient, I constantly had to change my hospital gown because he kept drooling on it. Yuck.

Hospital Chief Administrator Burns: Salemites, as you mourn Dr. Jonas, please be advised that we have a wonderful staff that's ready to carry on. Don't even think of going to any other hospital -- please.

Dr. Fynn Thompson: Mr. Burns is right Salemites. We're right on the job here at University Hospital. And don't worry ladies, after I save Brady Black and Eric Brady, I'll be back at the clubs ready to party.

Anne: As a former hospital employee, I too am sorry to hear about Dr. Daniel Jonas -- even though he was a ladies man with an inflated ego. I also wish a quick recovery to the accident victims -- even Jenny.
 
Facebook post Sami: Wow, being a twin is great. I know everything without having to pick up the phone. I can stay in hiding. Everything is fine. I can feel Eric is in a deep sleep, so he's fine. He's so good, almost as perfect as me.
 
Post in the Secret Group: "Ex-Lovers of Daniel Jonas"

Group Admin: We regret to inform you that Daniel was in a fatal New Year's Eve car crash in Salem and is now clinically brain dead. His organs will be donated accordingly. He leaves behind his biological mother, his fiancée, his daughter, and his son.

Reply from Chelsea Brady: First dad and now my first love. Rough holiday season.

Reply from Salem Nurse 1: Wow I wonder if that Daniel look alike Fynn is anything like him in the bedroom.

Reply from Kate Roberts: Dammit now I have nobody to push Lucas' leftovers onto!

Reply from Dr. Carly Manning: He was the first man to compliment my polka dot bra.

Reply from Billie Reed: First Bo and now Daniel too? Must you share every man with me?!

Reply from Dr. Carly Manning: Honey I had both of them way before you did!

Reply from Group Admin: Back to topic please!!

Reply from Kristen Dimera: Dammit I knew I should have slept with him while I had the chance. I could have gotten pregnant for real.

Reply from the Ghost of Rebecca Jonas: I had better hide all the hospital gowns in heaven.

Reply from Chloe Lane: My son is too young to lose his dad. Hey, I should check that paternity test again...
 
When the news gets out that Eric was driving drunk, the blame game starts on Salem social media.

Chad: This is Ben's fault -- if he hadn't killed Serena, Eric would have been partying with her at TBD instead of getting soused at the Basic Black event.

Jenny: Ben's a monster, but It's Kate's fault. Why did she schedule the Basic Black event on New Year's Eve of all times?

Jeannie T.: Kate stinks, but somehow it's Victor's fault. Why? Because he's such a mean old grouch that the very sight of him will drive people to drink.

Xander: Right, it has to be nasty old Uncle Vic. Wasn't he the one who arranged for showing the sex tape that ruined Eric's career as a priest?

John: No, it's Kristen's fault. That's a fact. If she hadn't made that sex tape, Eric would have been at the rectory consoling lost souls who were alone on New Year's Eve.

Roman: Dammit, people, it's partly Hope's fault. She was so obsessed with getting revenge that she never did the TV ads warning Salemites against drunk driving over the holidays.

Sami: It's doody-head Stefano's fault. Isn't it always? Or maybe it's John Black's fault. He's a life ruiner.

Andre: Father? John Black? Nonsense. If people want someone to blame, blame me. I love it when the little people of Salem hate me.
 
Reply from Sami: OMG, Maggie doesn't even remember all of her children. I just HATE it when mothers lose track of their kids. Madison, Fillmore, Grant, Garfield, Roosevelt, Truman, and Clinton all know that I'd never forget them. I'm Salem's BEST mother.

Reply from Allie: Mom! Those aren't your children. They are all former presidents.

Reply from Sami: Really? Who knew? By the way, what's the name of your father again?
 
Facebook post from Rory: Whoa dudes, I was in Horton Square and it was spooky it was late at night and no one around but I swear I heard something. It sounded like someone beating something against a brick wall. Then I thought I saw Dr. Jonas running around with a medical bag, like he didn't know where to go like he was trying to help like a lot of people, then like boom! He like exploded into pieces. I must have gotten a hold of some bad brownies.
 
From StinkerBelle to Public: Sami stole all of Stefano's money. I have half of it. Chad was brainwashed by Andre to find out where Sami is, but he couldn't do that right and now Chad is playing him. I blabbed it all to Philip. I hope he doesn't tell anyone.
 
Facebook post from Mr. Earlie: Guess the Hortons won't be picking up these ornaments. Anyone out there who has need for ornaments with these names?

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Facebook post by the new Egg-Mommies Association: Welcome to the Facebook page of the new Egg-Mommies Association, which has been formed by the friends and family of Ms. Maggie Horton Kiriakis who just suffered the tragic loss of her beloved, handsome, brilliant, kindly, caring, and all-around wonderful egg-baby, Dr. Daniel Jonas. The principles and goals of our Association are listed below:

1) The egg-mommy is far more important than whoever or whatever actually raised the child.
2) The egg-mommy should always take first place in the affections of the egg-baby.
3) The President must proclaim one Sunday in the spring as Egg-Mommy's Day.
4) Hallmark and other card companies must start providing Egg-Mommy's Day cards.
5) Retailers must start providing egg-mommy-themed merchandise suitable for birthday, Egg-Mommy's Day, and Christmas gifts.
 
Facebook post from Salem Hospital gowns: We are ready to return! We have been washed and sanitized. I think we are safe now. No more using us as "get a date" objects. Woohoo!

Reply from Daniel's necklace: good for you ,but I helped hypnotize them. What am I to do now? What if I'm picked up by Rory? Oh gosh, I need to retire and go into hiding.
 
Facebook post from Black Patch Investigations: Since the formation of Black Patch was announced, we have been flooded with requests from Salemites seeking to solve crimes, find long-lost relatives, hoping to learn if their spouse is a cheat, wanting to know if somebody is embezzling from their company, and find their wandering kitty cats. We appreciate everyone's interest, but currently one partner has suddenly had the urge to learn more about his mysterious past and the other is dealing with the reappearance of a long-lost nemesis. In the meantime, may we suggest that you contact the Salem P.D. Sure, it's known for incompetence, insanity, utter stupidity, laziness, indifference, lack of professionalism, lack of common sense, and even outright criminality, but Commissioner Roman Brady's heart is in the right place and we're sure that he'll do his utmost to have your situation remedied. Thanks for your understanding, Salem. We're looking forward to serving you sometime in the future -- maybe.
 
Facebook post from Maggie to Sarah and Melissa: Oh girls, your beloved brother is gone.

Reply from Melissa: Who???

Reply from Sarah: I have a brother?? Did Neil Curtis have another kid that I don't know about???
 
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