Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 22

Tweet from Nicole: Deimos is the worst. Won't somebody do something about him?

Reply from Ghost Nick: Deimos hurt the wonderful Maggie? I've got a spot in the Salem River all picked out for him.

Reply from Ghost Bo: This creep harmed Maggie and gave my father a heart attack? I'm on my way back from the afterlife to "take him apart."

Reply from Ghost Stefano: Deimos's conduct is outrrrageous. He's giving us Salem villains a very bad name. I'm contacting Sergio and Ricardo about taking him out.

Reply from Ghost Bart: Say the word, Mr. DiMera, and I'll be right on this too.

Reply from Roman: Dammit, just stay dead all of you. When the time comes, my men will take care of Deimos just like they took out Yo-Daddy's gang.
 
Facebook post from Belle: Woo-hoo! I am a fantastic lawyer!! I managed to get all murder charges dropped against Steve "Patch" Johnson! So take THAT all of you doubters and haters!

Reply from Kayla: I think perhaps your dad and my brother-in-law, Shane, might have had something to do with that. Just sayin'......
 
Reply from Justin: OMG, Steve gets off because he's licensed to kill by some sketchy agency. Now I know why the old D.A., Charles Woods, was such a nut case. Everyone in this town gets away with everything. Can you spell "frustration?"

Reply from Andre: Right you are, cosmetics king. How about dropping those trumped-up murder charges against me.

Reply from Chase: And drop all charges against me too. I'm just a poor homeless, friendless waif.
 
Facebook post from the Salem University Hospital gift shop: Salemites, are you still stricken with a terrible sense of loss because of the untimely death of medical superhero Dr. Daniel Jonas? Do you shed a tear when you pass the beautiful Town Square memorial to the sainted doctor? Well, all of you who have wished to have some touching remembrance of Dr. Jonas should visit our great gift shop or the University Hospital website. We now have Daniel Jonas caps, t-shirts, sweat shirts, and hospital scrubs and gowns all emblazoned with Dr. Jonas's name and handsome, unshaven face. Also available are Jonas key chains, refrigerator magnets, bobblehead dolls, teddy-bears, pens, and replica stethoscopes and scalpels, and the late doctor's best-selling Guide to Tabletop Surgery. Lovelorn gents can also purchase Dr. Jonas's favorite orange-tinted tanning cream, cologne, and deodorant. So don't delay and be disappointed. Order now. Our retail associates are standing by to serve you.

Reply from Roman: Send me that tanning cream, cologne, and deodorant. I'm desperate. I haven't had a kiss since Bill Clinton was president.
 
Facebook post from Teen Ciara: Hey, Salem. I'm starting a babysitting service. I'm an expert on what kids like and need because only a few months ago I was one myself.

Reply from Caroline: Good for you dear. You'll be the best sitter in Salem history.

Reply from Ciara: You're so right, grandma. And I know how to keep kids safe because my mom is supercop Detective Hope Brady who's shot and killed three guys, including Stefano DiMera --- oops.

Reply from Victor (from his hospital bed): Maybe you could babysit my idiot son, Philip. Lord knows, he needs one.

Reply from Sami: Don't get a swelled head, kid. You may turn out to be a pretty good sitter, but I'm Salem's BEST mother.
 
Facebook post from Sami: Ladies, if you're like most women in Salem, you've had to give a big long smooch to some horrible man whom you absolutely HATE. If this happens to you, Truly Radiant mouthwash is the answer. One mouthful of Truly Radiant will erase all traces of that unwanted kiss. So don't delay, get a bottle today. In Salem, a woman never knows when she''ll have to kiss some truly hideous man. So remember, it's Truly Radiant after unavoidably kissing the truly disgusting!
 
Facebook post by the Salem Mutual Fire Insurance Company: Salem homeowners, are friends, family, guests, and other visitors so unbalanced that they might attempt to set fire to persons whom they dislike? This may sound unlikely, but it happens more often than you'd think in Salem. If this occurred in your home, would you be covered? Don't put your beloved home and its beautiful, cherished contents at risk. Contact us today about an affordable special policy, which protects your property against all damage caused by those who choose fire as a way of eliminating those who have offended them. Call now, our operators are standing by.

Reply from Mammoth Falls cabin owner: I heartily recommend this policy. Recently, my beautiful rustic cabin was destroyed by a fire set by crazed necktie-killer Ben Weston, which was intended to kill his fiancée and her new lover. Thanks to the Salem Mutual Fire insurance Co,, my cabin is being rebuilt and I've been able to replace all the beloved items that it contained.
 
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Facebook post from everyone's favorite sleazy supermarket tabloid, The Salem Intruder: Salemites, don't miss next week's issue of the Intruder, which contains the following mind-blowing articles:

Crazy Ben Weston's Burns: He Wasn't Just Playing with Matches!
Deimos Kiriakis: His Mad Plan for Revenge! Who Will Be His Next Victim!
Salem High Prom: How Dull Can It Get?
Roman Brady Crooked Cop?: Just How Many Crimes Is He Covering Up?
Paul Narita's Fall: The Retired Baseball Star's Sad Life in Salem!
Fashion Advice for the Older Woman: Ten Hot Tips from Basic Black's Kate Roberts Brady!
How Sami Brady Ruined My Life!: Heartbroken Victims Tell Their Tales of Woe!
Danger Lurks Below: The City Government's Shocking Indifference to Salem's Deadly Tunnels!
 
Reply from the Editors of the Intruder: Ms. Brady, all fine Intruder articles are based on verifiable fact, not on the biased, fevered imaginations of individual Salemites. By the way, based on fact that your message only dealt with the article about your victims, may we conclude that you agree that your father may indeed be a crooked cop and Kate Roberts Brady is just the women to give fashion tips to older women?
 
Reply from Sami: My daddy is NOT crooked! He's the straightest arrow in Salem. He would NEVER do anything wrong or allow criminals to walk free. And Kate Roberts being a fashionista? Ha! She dresses like an old circus clown who raided Cyndi Lauper's jewelry box! Now me, on the other hand, I AM a true style icon, in addition to being truly radiant! PS: I still HATE John Black! And my stoopid sister Carrie.
 
Facebook post by Ben Weston: Man! Burned and arrested again! All I wanted was my ex-fiancee back!

Reply from Sonny Kiriakis: You should have thought of that before you murdered my husband.

Reply from Eve Donovan: And my daughter!

Reply from Wendy Taylor's husband: And my wife!

Reply from Eric Brady: And my ex-girlfriend!

Reply from JJ Deveraux: And my ex-girlfriend!

Reply from John Black: And you tried to kill my wife! That's a fact!

Reply from Ben Weston: Yeah, well...it's all Abigail's fault! If she hadn't cheated on me, none of this would have happened! I HATE her!

Reply from Sami Brady: First you murder my son...now you steal my line?! Your suffering will last for DAYS! Oh, and I HATE YOU! :angry:
 
Facebook post from Hope to Caroline: I have to tell you the truth. Andre didn't kill Stefano. I did. I shot him, Rafe helped me dispose of his body and we framed Andre. Roman knows and looked the other way.

Reply from Caroline: Oh, honey, it's all good. He was an evil SOB who deserved to die. Here, have a drink on the house. You deserve it! By the way, if you kill Deimos, you can drink here for free, forever. Plus, I'll make you Wanchai Ferry for dinner every night.
 
Facebook post from T.F.O.S. (Traumatized Furniture Of Salem)

Dimera Sofa, Chairman: Please Welcome our newest member, Horton Couch.

Horton Couch: Thank you, I've seen a lot in my 50 years, and it finally got to me. I need your help.

Benchie: We're here for you.
 
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