Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 27

Just Samantha

Just Samantha

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Facebook post from Bishop Wright:
DrBakerFan said:
Bishop Wright: St. Luke's was blown up during an unauthorized civil wedding? I know that Satan is loose in Salem, but this is ridiculous.
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Reply from Kate Roberts: You spelled Satan wrong, should be S-A-M-I.

Reply from Julie Williams: No, I'm sure it should be G-A-B-I.
[Chad DiMera likes this]
 
Facebook post from Sami: Hey everybody, Allie had a baby boy! So happy they're both doing well. Granted, Allie doesn't want anything to do with me, but I won't give her that satisfaction. What kind of child yells at their mother on a regular basis, throws up all of her mistakes and tells her to go away??

Reply from Marlena: [clears throat] Hmmmm, I seem to remember something about a conference room table. What was that now???
[John Black likes this]
[Eric Brady likes this]
[Belle Black Brady likes this]
[Carrie Brady Reed likes this]
[Rafe Hernandez likes this]
[Kate Roberts likes this]

Reply from Lucas Horton: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl::rotfl:
 
Reply from Sami: Shut up Lucas. The horrible sight of Mom playing the horizontal rumba with the life-ruiner on top of a conference table can't compare with my ordinary maternal bossiness and interference. My foolish daughter doesn't realize how lucky she is. How would she have liked to have the horrid Kate, the perverse Vivian, or stoopid Jenny for a mother? Look how their children turned out!

Reply from Lucas: :shocked::shocked:
 
Reply from Vivian: How dare you call me perverse, you simple twit??

Reply from Jake: Wait, aren't you dead????? :eek:

Reply from Ivan: Uhhh, never mind. Disregard that last post. Move along, nothing to see here. Have a nice day, Jacob.
 
Facebook post from Xander to Lucas: So, mate, what's the situation with your daughter and her new baby? She still want to give it to Will and Sonny? I have it on good authority that someone (who shall remain nameless), isn't too keen on the idea. This individual would rather have a four-legged furry addition to the family. If Allie would give the baby to me, I'd make sure he has a loving mummy and daddy. And don't forget, I carried Allie all the way to the hospital after that dreadful wedding bomb. That should count for something, right?? PS: just how did you manage to put up with that screeching hurricane who is Allie's mother???

Reply from Lucas: While I'm truly appreciative to you for taking such good care of Allie after the explosion, I don't think we're going to hand over her child to you. I love my cousin Sarah and all, but no. How about dinner at Julie's Place as a thank you for helping Allie? As to the screeching hurricane, that's not my wedding ring on her finger. She's EJ's problem now.
 
Just Samantha said:
Facebook post from Xander to Lucas: So, mate, what's the situation with your daughter and her new baby? She still want to give it to Will and Sonny? I have it on good authority that someone (who shall remain nameless), isn't too keen on the idea. This individual would rather have a four-legged furry addition to the family. If Allie would give the baby to me, I'd make sure he has a loving mummy and daddy. And don't forget, I carried Allie all the way to the hospital after that dreadful wedding bomb. That should count for something, right?? PS: just how did you manage to put up with that screeching hurricane who is Allie's mother???

Reply from Lucas: While I'm truly appreciative to you for taking such good care of Allie after the explosion, I don't think we're going to hand over her child to you. I love my cousin Sarah and all, but no. How about dinner at Julie's Place as a thank you for helping Allie? As to the screeching hurricane, that's not my wedding ring on her finger. She's EJ's problem now.
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Reply from Kate: Oh, so now Sami is a "screeching hurricane." It's about time you woke up. Remember how you wouldn't listen to me when I warned you against marrying her, which forced me to try to sabotage your awful "green wedding."

Reply from Lucas: You want to know why I didn't listen to you about Sami? It's because you were so wrong so many times about so many things that you had no credibility.

Reply from Kate: Wrong? No credibility? I've survived in this town for years, years. I must know a thing or two.

Reply from Lucas: Survive? Is that what you call swindling me out of my job, once trying to kill Victor and Sami, poisoning Chloe, tossing Nick Fallon into the Salem River, and shooting Vivian Alamain? Yes, I know about these things.

Reply from Xander: OMG, and people thought that I was a bad guy. Kate makes me look like Mr. Clean.
 
Facebook post from Arianna: Guess it looks like I'm not getting a baby brother. Darn it.

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Reply from Parker: You're so right, Ari. Who wants some other kid in the house, messing with your stuff. Nobody, but nobody touches my toy trains.

Reply from Chad: Kids, you're spot on about siblings. Who needs them? Their existence means that you inherit less from your parents. They also tend to marry inappropriate people. You wouldn't believe the horror shows that my surprise brothers, Stefan and Jake, dragged into the DiMansion.

Reply from Sami: You bet that siblings aren't worth the trouble. The many woes of my Bad Twin have brought nothing but grief to Mom and Dad. And Ari, when you see your stoopid father, Sonny-Boy, tell him that if he doesn't lay off my Will, he will sooo regret it.
 
Facebook post from Eli: Hey everybody, great news, Lani and I are having twins! Any advice or helpful hints?

Reply from Lucas: Congrats, man! Happy to hear it. I'd imagine you're the father of both babies, so you're already ahead of me in the twin game.

Reply from Eli: Say what???

Reply from Lucas: When I was married to Sami and she was pregnant with twins, turns out I was only the father of one of them, Allie.

Reply from Eli: :eek: Dude, that is so messed up!

Reply from Lucas: Tell me about it.
 
Reply from Marlena: If, by chance, you or Lani ever cheat on each other, don't let one of the twins see you doing it. It'll make the next 30 years of your life a living hell with said child. Also, hopefully they won't be identical. If so, you have to watch out that one twin doesn't become jealous, lock up the other twin and take that one's place.

Reply from Eli: Wait, what??? :eek:

Reply from Shane: Also have to try to make sure one twin doesn't get involved with shady DiMeras and become an assassin-for-hire, even if said twin is an absolute genius. Granted, they may turn their life around 30 years later, but not worth the hassle.

Reply from Eli to Lani: Maybe we should move away from Salem to raise our babies.
 
Just Samantha said:
Facebook post from Eli: Hey everybody, great news, Lani and I are having twins! Any advice or helpful hints?

Reply from Lucas: Congrats, man! Happy to hear it. I'd imagine you're the father of both babies, so you're already ahead of me in the twin game.

Reply from Eli: Say what???

Reply from Lucas: When I was married to Sami and she was pregnant with twins, turns out I was only the father of one of them, Allie.

Reply from Eli: :eek: Dude, that is so messed up!

Reply from Lucas: Tell me about it.
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Reply from Sami: Messed up? How dare you talk like that you second-rate sleuth. Allie's twin, Johnny, was fathered as a beautiful act of love between me and my darling smoochy-moochy, handsome, charming EJ.

Reply from Eli: Call it what you want, but twins with different fathers is decidedly weird.

Reply from Sami: I'll tell you what's weird: marrying an ex-fake-nun who's pals with that creepy monster, Kristen, and your granny, Julie, who's a total busybody who doesn't know when to keep her big mouth shut and who conducts exploding weddings.

Reply from Marlena: Please Sami, try to be nicer to people.

Reply from Sami: Mom! I am being nice. I haven't called stoopid John a life-ruiner or Eric the "Bad Twin" in days. I've also toned down the level of my insults for that trashy, trampy, babyswitching kidnapper whom he married. What a horror show those two losers are.

Reply from Marlena: Why do I even try?
 
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Reply from Sami: By the way, who is this Eli? Is he one of my kids? If so, those twins should belong to me and I should raise them. I'm Salem's best mother. Just ask my kids, all of them: Greg, Peter, Bobby, Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Will and Allie.

Reply from Lucas:

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Reply from Julie: Eli your son? You screecher, are you insane? My handsome grandson, Eli's, mother is Dr. Valerie Grant, a distinguished physician..

Reply from Sami: Whatever -- not having me for his mother is his loss, but I pity him for having a doofy, old busybody for a granny. By the way, I've heard that your club stinks -- watered-down drinks and disgusting food. Anyone with any sense in Salem always goes to my Daddy's pub.

Marlena: Please Sami, give it a rest. Do you have to insult everybody?

Reply from Sami: Mom -- the old bat called me a screecher! I can't let that go by. As for her putrid club -- I'll bet the place has rats and roaches -- I have to call 'em as I see 'em.

Reply from Marlena: That's it. I give up.
 
Facebook post from Baby Boy Horton: Wait, do I really have to live with this screeching woman??? I hear that someone named Aunt Maggie is nice. Can I go stay with her? Or maybe that Cousin Julie lady? What about the people they call Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Jack? Or the strong Xander man who carried mom to safety? Anybody but the screeching one.
 
Facebook post from Baby Boy Horton: Can someone give me a name so that I am not called Baby Boy anymore? Please don't let that screeching woman name me. I want a really nice name.
 
Reply from Sami: Excuse me, "baby", but I gave my children great names: Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie and Krobert. I think I shall name you Kricket.

Reply from Baby Boy Horton: I think I'll just stick with Baby Boy. By the way, I may be new here, but I'm pretty sure those aren't your kids' names.
 
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