Faux spoilers, part 6

And in a surprising twist, after her 10001st insult, Cole turns on Bev and begins plotting with Anne, only for the pair to fall madly in love

The two become so happy and popular within Salem that their nickname "Cone" is inscribed on the tree Cole vandalised on a plaque 3× the size of the Horton plaque. Their shining love makes Dan and Jennifer realise their affair is futile, and they go their separate ways.
 
Seeing the wild success Midol and Chex Mix have experienced using product placement, other brands jump on the bandwagon:

T.G.I. Friday's opens a branch in the Horton Town Square, and lures away underutilised bartender Tad as their manager. Since he's the only single guy in town, all the young ladies flock from Club TBD to Friday's. Meanwhile, town lush Jeannie Theresa is hired to accost passersby in the square by telling them about the wonders of the Jack Daniel's grill.

After Victor fires Brady from Titan, he is quickly snatched up by rival Macmillan Publishing. His first major move involves hiring Ben (who was let go from TBD due to lack of hours) to walk around Salem U's campus with a cart full of textbooks.

Due to the lack of business at Club TBD, and Will's continued college expences, Sonny is forced to make a deal with Pampers; every time he mentions how absorbent and durable they are, and how they keep Arianna Grace dry even when he's making coffee or collecting antique guns for hours on end, to a random customer, he gets a free box.

After her secret is revealed, Jordan is fired as a physical therapist, and becomes a star in the Insanity line of workout videos. Rafe becomes annoyed with her constant exercising and tracking her progress, and begins hanging out in the Bushy Clearing, extolling the virtues of Jim Beam and Duro paper bags.
 
While doing some background research for Kate's trip to the Ozarks (yes, for once they did a little research), they learn that there is a Titanic museum in Branson, MO. This inspires them to do a Titanic-themed episode of Days that's comparable to Nicole's 1940s film noir fantasy espisode from 2008. To promote the episode, they release some truly exciting spoilers.

First Officer Sami tells Captain Roman that she's just steered the ship into an iceberg. He replies: "Dammit Sami."
On the promenade deck, Marlena asks John if the ship has hit an iceberg. He responds: "That's a fact."
Brady gets into lifeboat no. 5 by claiming he's a great oarsman. He and Theresa then shock the society ladies in the lifeboat by drinking vodka, snorting cocaine, and generally having a good time.
In lifeboat no. 2, Maggie soothes her fellow survivors by passing out home-baked cookies.
In lifeboat no. 7, Jennifer and Marlena blame Nicole for the sinking of the ship.
EJ and Stefano push past women and children and get into lifeboat no. 12 by bribing a crew member.
Clinging to overturned collapsible lifeboat B, Daniel stays warm by thinking about attractive women wearing hospital gowns.
Also clinging to collapsible B is Victor who keeps warm by thinking about Nicole, Chloe, and Vivian Alamain and getting hot under the collar.
Unlike Leonardo DiCaprio, Rafe is capable of easily swimming through the icy water to the nearest lifeboat. He has to quickly decide whether to save Kate or Jordan.
Caroline, a passenger on the rescue ship Carpathia, warms the rescued Titanic survivors by giving them big bowls of clam chowder.

James Cameron, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Kate Winslet are very displeased when the Days Titanic episode proves to be more popular than their blockbuster film; Corday immediately begins planning for a Days version of King Kong.
 
The manager for Barbie dolls designs calls Jennifer and offers her a position as a designer for new Barbie models. Apparently, the manager saw Jennifer walking around with her pink on pink suit and her ponytail and thinks Jen Jen would be perfect for the job, as she has the look down to a tee. The manager asks Jennifer for a scruffy version of Ken in scrubs, including the round mystical necklace, accompanied by three or four women patients in hospital gowns. This doll also comes with a superhero costume. The manager also asks for a Barbie with a chunk of blue/green hair, complete with a chef's hat and a fake recipe for poisoned brownies. Also a blond screechy Barbie who, with the push of a very small button, can throw endless temper tantrums. A couple of male Barbies with wedding rings, a baby and a stroller. Optional would be a female Barbie wearing a prisoner suit. Also a tall blond Barbie named Pariah, in which everyone can plant pins and needles to relieve stress. Not to mention a fake virgin doll, complete with a tall and thin British Ken, and a buffed up bartender Ken. And many other models that would appeal to a large audience.

Jennifer is much too happy to take the job, as it comes complete with a pink house, a pink car, a pink swimming pool, a pink yacht, a pink Winnebago, and a private pink jet. Plus, she would only have to work one or two days per year, which is a definite improvement over her PR job at the hospital, where she has to show up at work once a month. That was so much that it was beginning to take a toll on poor martyr Jennifer.

After signing the contract, Jen Jen decides to work on her first model : a princess wearing a shiny crown and a sleeveless dress. On the press of a button, this doll farts and the wonderful smell of roses comes out.
 
Hoping to increase viewer interest in the New Eve, TPTB release what they think are juicy spoilers.
Theresa becomes suspicious of Eve when she sees her at Salem Liquors buying a case of Brady's favorite vodka.
Theresa becomes doubly suspicious of Eve when she sees her lurking in Salem Park looking for a drug dealer.
Jennifer becomes suspicious of Eve when she sees her buying hospital gowns at a medical supplies store.
Eve, thinking that she can hang out at University Hospital like members of Salem's in crowd, gets a rude awakening when she is thrown out by Maxine.
Eve thinks that she may have arrived in Salem society when Victor makes her the object of some of his patented one-liners.
After meeting Eve and learning that she's Paige's mother, Bev feels so sorry for JJ's girlfriend that she calls off all her plots.
After overhearing Eve outlining her plans for causing trouble in Salem, Ciara suggests that her silence could be bought by a quick trip to Salem's finest jewelry store.
 
Thrilled with viewer reaction to the return of Eve, TPTB release what they think are tantalizing spoilers about Clyde.
It's revealed that Santo DiMera once visited Hot Springs, Arkansas, and got a local woman pregnant, meaning that Clyde just might be Stefano's long-lost. much-younger brother; EJ and Stefano immediately start plotting against him.

It's revealed that Clyde's mother was the secret love child of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, explaining why he's named "Clyde."

During a confrontation with Jordan at her apartment, Clyde is badly bitten and scratched by Arthur the Cat and rushed to University Hospital, where Daniel saves his life.

Kate has a nasty encounter with Clyde in which he insults her blue/green chunk; she immediately starts plotting against him.

After learning that Eve might get a slice of the royalties for Jack's book, Clyde attempts to pick her up at the Brady Pub. Offended, Eve starts plotting against him.

When trying to sneak out the Pub without paying for his beer and Brady Burger, Clyde is decked by Ciara with one swing of her magic backpack. As Rafe hauls a dazed Clyde off to Roman's jail, he warns him that Ciara is the most dangerous person in Salem.
 
After watching several "Messin' with Sasquatch" commercials and seeing a Sasquatch documentary on the Discovery Channel, TPTB decide on a story line that brings Sasquatch to Salem. To excite the viewers, they issue some tantalizing spoilers.

While lurking in Salem Park, Sasquatch overhears Clyde talking to himself about his evil plans for "Tammy Sue" and "Ollie." Offended, Sasquatch considers tossing him over several trees and into Nick Fallon's favorite stretch of the Salem River.

After rumors spread that Sasquatch is living in Salem Park and the Forest Preserve, several near-sighted Salemites mistake the perpetually-disheveled and unshaven Daniel for the large, shaggy creature.

After voting out Stefano, terrified members of the DiMera Enterprises board consider offering the fearsome Sasquatch the position of CEO.

After hearing that Sasquatch is in the Salem area, Theresa does some Internet research to see if he's rich.

Eve blunders into Sasquatch in Salem Park. While fleeing in terror, she trips, falls, and breaks an ankle. She then calls her lawyer to ask about suing Sasquatch.

Administrator Burns finally shows up at University Hospital and is shocked to learn that only Anne Milbauer and Maxine are on the job. He then considers hiring Sasquatch to crack the whip on no-show employees.

Kate blunders into Sasquatch in Salem Park. Unfazed, she suggests that he could improve his appearance by adding a blue chunk.
 
Forget the bedroom and its misadventures, Salem is the place for boardroom action!!

John & Brady team up to sell a clothing line that says, "I got married while drunk in Vegas and all I got was disowned by my Grandpa."

Kate & Sami take over DiMera Enterprises and immediately launch a line of hair-colour streak kits.

Ciara wants a piece of the action in Salem, and finds 2.000.000 shares of Apple stock in her backpack. She sells them to take over Titan from her coked-up cousin Brady, and starts her own fragrance for MadWorld, called, of course, Treasures.

Julie, who's been ejected from her latest cruise by her shipmates due to her non-stop complaining about her cousin's son's murder, reopens her movie studio with an exposé, THE EVE DONOVAN STORY, a cheap smear-piece which becomes a blockbuster, including double late-night showings in the Horton Town Square.

Eve, rich from her share of the book royalties, teams up with Nicole to purchase The Salem Spectator. Against her mother's wishes, Abby takes a job as a junior reporter.

Aiden Jennings finally reveals that his dead wife was Brooke Hamilton, who had a knack for turning up presumed-dead, whom he met and married in the 1990s, years after she "died" in Salem. On behalf of Chase, he takes over Anderson Manufacturing. Using a design by Will, Anderson creates a smash-hit novelty toy, the Talking Julie, which, once turned on, does not stop talking until you smash it with a hammer. Retailers are shocked when half of its sales are accounted for solely by the Horton family.
 
Distressed by the fact that Jennifer is regularly criticized and mocked by viewers who call her "Ms. Priss," "prissy Jen," "darling Jenny," "Ms. Sleeveless," and "Jen Jen," the writers resolve to rehabilitate the character. To inform the viewers about this, they release what they hope will be welcome spoilers.
Jennifer stops wearing sleeveless outfits, especially in the middle of winter.
Jennifer stops getting involved with her teen-aged son's love life.
Jennifer realizes that her "perfect" daughter isn't so perfect after all.
Jennifer gives up her doomed quest to resume her relationship with Daniel.
Jennifer resists the urge to engage in righteous rants when she is displeased.
Jennifer decides to start going to work on a regular basis.
Jennifer makes a conscious effort to give up her prissy ways.
Jennifer decides to play it cool in her relationships with Eve, Theresa, and Anne Milbauer.
Finally, after Jack's miraculous return to Salem, Jennifer resolves to reesablish a solid, loving marriage.
 
Hearing that fans of the "golden couple" are greatly distressed because of the current EJ-Sami storyline,TPTB issue what they hope will be spoilers that will reassure them.

Sami agrees to stop asking Roman to serve EJ only water and gruel.

Sami agrees to visit EJ's cell to gloat and toss insults only every other day.

Sami agrees to torment Abigail only in the Town Square and Brady Pub, leaving her home and Club TBD as safe zones.

Sami agrees to donate EJ's expensive suits to charity rather than burn them in the DiMansion garden.

Sami agrees not to use four-letter words when describing EJ to the children.

Sami agrees not to incite lynch mobs during EJ's trial.
 
Worried after they learn that many Days fans are not excited by the Kristen-kidnaps-Daniel plot, TPTB leak spoilers about Kristen's daily cruelties to Daniel, which they hope will get the viewers interested.

Daniel is forced to to wear a business suit.

Daniel has to shave every day.

Daniel has to wear a bow tie.

Daniel has to read articles about medical ethics that say hook-ups with patients are a no-no.

Daniel has to listen to recordings of Jenny's best rants. (Kristen once planted listening devices in the hospital.)
 
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