Headlines from the Salem Intruder, Part 2

Bad news just keeps on coming in Salem, but the Intruder can keep up.

Vivian's Prison Diaries: The Unspeakable Horrors She Faces in the Big House!

Abe Carver Shocker: Wife Lexie Is Alive in the Salem Tunnels Living with Lizard People!

Gotcha! D.A. Melinda Thinks She Has Sami Dead to Rights for Charlie's Slaying!

"I Married Him?": Amnesiac Ciara Can't Believe She's Wed to the Former Necktie Strangler!

Brady's Long Lonely Hours: Can Chloe Comfort Him While Kristen Is in the Slammer?!

"It Just Can't Be True!" Heartbroken Xander Refuses to Believe that Sarah Really Dumped Him for her Boring, Cheating Ex!

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- What's Your Take on the Xander-Sarah Situation?
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Rory: "It's a total bummer. A wedding
with Xander in a kilt and Jack as best
man would have been beyond cool."
 
With Jenny out of town and Jack preoccupied with Gwen's situation, the Intruder fills the gap in Salem news reporting.

Modern-Day Jezebel: How Lovelorn Xander Was Lured into a Sham Marriage!

City Hall Shocker: "Honest" Abe Helps Brassy In-Law Monopolize Hot Town Square Properties!

Where in The World Is Dr. Sarah?: Cheating Ex-Paramour Dr. Rexy Says: "Don't Ask Me!"

Bayview Bound?: Does Abigail's Bizarre Behavior Have Hubby Chad Thinking of Shipping Her Back to Bayview!

Wife-Stealing Weasel: Shameless Theo Takes Amnesiac Ciara to South Africa -- Far, Far from Poor Ben!

Charity Can Go Too Far:: Why Does Dr. Evans Continue to Tolerate the Presence of Batty Susan Banks in Her Townhouse?!

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- What Do You Think of Roman's Renewed Interest in Kate?
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Rory: "Talk about looking for love
in all the wrong places. If he's
desperate for a kiss, Roman should
try social events at the Salem
Senior Center."
 
With Jack preoccupied with Gwen's misadventures, the Intruder keeps its eye on the prize -- juicy dirt.

Drug-Dealing Doc Drops Dead on Deveraux Sofa: Was There Foul Play?!

Mayor Abe Fiddles While Paulina Messes with Salem's Future: What's Going on?!

Kreepy Kristen Vanishes Again: Why Can't the Cops Ever Keep Their Paws on Her?!

Jake's Dilemma: More Granny Sex or a Hot, Young Babe! Which Should He Choose?! Cast Your Vote at Our Website!

Mummy Man EJ Returns: How to Tell Your Children About This Civic Disaster!

Jilted: Foolish Father Eric Would Rather Swelter in Africa Than Share NIcole's Bed! Should She Dump Him?!

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- What Do You Think of Paulina's Town Square Plans?!
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Rory: "I smell a very large rat. Anytime
some loudmouth talks about saving
Salem, it's time to be careful, very
careful!"
 
With Jack busy dumping on Xander, the Intruder carries on.

Who Kidnapped Sami Brady? Salemites Say: "Who Cares!"

Wife-Stealer Theo Left at the Altar: How He Got What He Deserved!

How Salem Almost Lost Its Beloved Town Square: The Whole Shocking Story!

Horror at Salem Lake: Dead Doc Found Floating in It!

Modern Medical Miracle: How Johnny DiMera Grew Back His Eye! The Amazing Details!

He's Baaack! Awful EJ Returns: How You Can Avoid Him!

Intruder Poll: Nicole Cheated with Hunky Xander. If You Had the Chance, Would You Do the Same?!

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- What's Your Take on Theo Trying to Wed Amnesiac Ciara?
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Rory: "Making a move on another
guy's amnesiac wife is so uncool.
Did he think he was Stefan O.
DiMera?"
 
While Jack frets over Gwen, the Intruder is right there reporting on the Salem's own zombie apocalypse.

Zombie Nick Speaks out: Claims Salem's Nerds Are Mistreated by Handsome Hunks and Designing Women!

Jett and Jeremy Answer Zombie Nick: "We're Not Bullies, You Really Are a Dork!"

Zombie Deimos Shocker: "Nicole Walker Murdered Me! Revenge Will Be Mine!"

Xander on Zombie Charlie: "Don't Blame Me for His Bad Manners! You Can't Make a Silk Purse out of a Sow's Ear!!"

Salem's Zombie Plague: How You Can Protect Your Family!"

D.A. Trask Comments: "Yes, I Would Prosecute a Zombie for Murder!"

Intruder Poll: Which Deceased Salemite Will Next Become a Zombie: Stefano, Andre, Bart, Willow Stark, Fake Rafe, Trent Robbins ... ?

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- What's Your Take on the Zombie Invasion?
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Rory: "Whoever cooked up this
nonsense has been smoking some
very bad pot."
 
With absolutely nothing happening at the Spectator, the Intruder fills the gap in Salem news coverage.

Northern Wisconsinites Report Hearing Strange Screeches and Howls Coming from the Woods!

Mad Headshrinker Runs Amok and Torments Family: The Whole Bizarre Story!

Tacky, Tacky Tacky: Salemites Put off by Potty Mouth EJ's Crude Insults Directed at Sami! How Low Can He Go?!

Crude Frame-up! Don't You Believe that Good Guy Brady Harmed Philip! He's a Lover, Not a Fighter!

Pub Menu Upgrade: You Won't Believe the New Items That Roman Has Added to the Pub Menu! Yum!

Fall Guy: Clueless Cops Torment Xander Every Time There's a Crime in Salem! Will He Be Next Charged with Littering!?

Philly Fired As Titan CEO! Could You be the Next Company Chief?! Here's How to Apply!

Ask Rory: This Week's Question -- Did Brady Attack Philly?
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Rory: "Not a chance. The only thing
wrong with Philly is that he has a
screw loose. That 'evidence' against
Brady sounds like something
cooked up by a second-rate crime
novelist."
 
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