My Issue with "Discussions" on SalemSpectator.com

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So, scarlett.......you personally feel berated because you like EJ and others disagree with you??? Really? You are telling me that other posters scold you, vehemently rebuke you, angrily chastise YOU personally? Or they do this to others?
Scarlett, you know that is not allowed, how come you have not reported it?
I have to say, I have not seen or read anything like this, but can easily have missed it.
 
I have not seen anything like that in this Message Board...Oh and I would like to say Hi to my Message Board friends as I have been MIA for about 2 months...I was busy but I am back and will start to post again.:wink:
 
:OT: but I wanted to adress this falsehood first:
actually no they will always be two people who were friends, got in an unfortunate complex moments with each other.

EJ and Sami didn't become friends. From EJ' s attempted murder of Belle, Stephanie and Max, to the threatening notes he sent to her about what she'd done to Carrie and Austin, it was all part of a plan to manipulate her into trusting only him. He told her what she wanted to hear, pretended to be her friend. He planned from the start to get her pregnant. If it was by rape or seduction with holes punched in a condom in case she asked him to wear one, he didn't care. It was about the stem cells for his father, not about being her friend.

:back: This is a free site that is run by people who care. I've seen the sites where the mods either act like tyrants or don't care about what kind of vile abuse posters hurl at each other. Those places are a nightmare. This site is a refreashing breath of air on a scalding internet filled with hateful posts. And they do it without being paid. I, for one say thank-you to the staff SalemSpectator.
 
There are always 2 sides to a coin, anything can be debated as people see things differently, I don't mind hearing people totally disagree, I don't believe I have ever been personally bashed even though Iam sure I have gotten under somebodys skin at some point, We all owe our moderators a whole lot of gratitude for that. As I stated in my first post if a certain board is making you feel offended maybe it would be easier to go cool off in a more neutral subject. Thank you to everyone who works tirelessly on this board and gets nothing in return, you are all truly appreciated:)
 
Many posters don't feel like they can say anything positive about EJ without being berated.
Scarlett, I have never seen anyone berate you, or anyone else, for saying anything positive about EJ or for liking him. If you feel you are being berated when others don't have the same opinion as you do, I'm sorry but that is something you will need to work out for yourself.
 
My story is my daughter led me to the site a year or so ago. I always watched this website from a far but never felt comfortable talking here on the Net. Eventually I did but felt a bit shut out and insignificant so I stopped
still check the page and am a fan but dont feel welcome.....the way people speak seems a little cruel, no?
wish everyone the best & happiness at the tail end of summer
Mildred
 
deleted unnecessary quote....JS

It takes time to learn about each other and, of course, some posters develop some relationship, but compares to most boards, this is a safe one when One can discuss anytthing with respect.
 
Everyone is welcome to join in the "Donuts" forum where many of us have become friends .

The first person in starts a new thread each day with the date in the title. Some people post there every day while others may post once a week or less. It is like a virtual coffee klatch. (I keep the teapot going for those of us who prefer it.)

We talk about the weather, children, grandchildren, work, shopping, or whatever strikes our fancy. We laugh and cry together as well as give virtual hugs when needed. So pop in, pull up a chair, and get comfy.
 
Poirot, I posted exactly what I typed on those boards in the second and third posts on this thread - no more, no less. Please show me where I stated anything hurtful or negative to you specifically from either of those posts like you mentioned. I continued to respond to people as I was genuinely hoping that something would change. I never said that I wasn't grateful for the staff, in fact I've stated many times that I am as someone who works on the web, I know exactly how much time and effort this all takes. I believe I even wrote that to you in a Chat Message a few weeks ago or so.

My issue is that I felt and feel that the is somewhat of a double-standard in place, not necessarily purposefully as I honestly believe that you are all great people. I feel as though, if the majority is of a certain mindset, concessions are made to allow rules to be bent or slightly altered. I mean no disrespect by this statement, as we are all human and I certainly have found myself biased in various situations. To be honest, I was simply hoping to call attention to it (and verify that there are others who also feel this way...so I'm not a random poster who is trying to start a big fight with the entire board)...and I only did so in hopes of having it noticed so it might be resolved -- or ignored, in which case I can go about my lurking way.

I posted this in two spots, as my original posts had part of the message deleted -- which yes, angered me. I felt as though, at least a reason could have been provided. Was it too off-topic and I should start a new thread elsewhere? Was it not for public? At the very least, If you would have rather this conversation take place in Chat Messages, it would have been great if the edited comment stated, please talk to Moderators via Message or whatnot instead of it just going missing. Someone actually recommended that I bring it here once they saw my response to the deleted message, as it was off-topic for that thread. That's the only reason I posted it twice, as I thought maybe that was the reason for deletion.

I apologize for the mob mentality comment if it offended anyone. I meant it more in the way of describing how situations occur in general, and how conversations tend to amp up with more and more anger...but I should have found a more tactful, less hurtful way of stating that.

I won't continue to fuel this thread, so it can die...or be locked down.
 
I think I said that some people "feel" berated. A feeling is something that is unique to the individual and I can't tell them that their feelings are inaccurate. My ex husband once told me that I got my feelings hurt too easily and I told him that might very well be true, but my feelings were hurt just the same. I appreciate your advice to work out my issues for my self. Note taken, but perhaps I might decide that the issue is not with me. That advice door swings both ways.
Kathy Lu you have always been fair and respectful to me and I mean no disrespect to you. Just sharing my thoughts and opinions.
Scarlett
 
So, scarlett.......you personally feel berated because you like EJ and others disagree with you??? Really? You are telling me that other posters scold you, vehemently rebuke you, angrily chastise YOU personally? Or they do this to others?
Scarlett, you know that is not allowed, how come you have not reported it?
I have to say, I have not seen or read anything like this, but can easily have missed it.
I said"many people feel berated." I didn't say I personally felt berated, scolded, vehemently rebuked, or angrily chastised.......at least until now.
Scarlett
And I have reported it on more than one occasion! For myself and others!
 
It's a message board here. Posts are people's opinions on the subject matter. I try to stay within the rules for myself, and am appreciative of the Moderators and the ones pulling the strings here behind the scenes.

I do find that it can come off as being berated, or trying to prove another's opinion as wrong, when a discussion or debate is going on and it is said (in general) "Well that is your opinion." Umm, yes, it is. It's a message board where opinions are stated. Having to state that seems redundant to me (like saying "just saying - of course you are, you just said it. lol) Stating an opinion doesn't mean that you are trying to change someone else's opinion.

Anyways, I try to just post my opinion on message boards, then move on to the next subject. I do get caught up in the heated debates from time to time, especially when about Sami & EJ, but really, see how both sides can be viewed as being disrespectful to the other. One says fans are sugar coating the rape and abuse while fans say EJ/Sami haters can't get past the rape, but the characters have.

It just all boils down to different opinions. One is not right. One is not wrong. As long as it is said with respect, from all views no matter how far fetched, or by one, two, minority or majority, if panties get in a wad, it's up to the wearer of said panties to get them out of the wad. Bad analogy, I know. lol.
 
What you said was.......and your post is on page 1.....is some folks feel that cannot say something positive about EJ, without being berated.
And again, just because someone has a different opinion than yours and states it, that is not BERATING, insulting, bashing or anything else.

And I am not going to allow this board to get tangled up in semantics or fan club wars, character wars or anything else of that nature. This is a rather peaceful place, with posters who love to discuss the show, whether they feel the same way about any of the characters/stories, etc. or not. I will not have anyone attempting to cause dissension or a disruption of the atmosphere here.
 
It's sad that some feel they are berated for their opinions. As a Melanie fan, I have had to deal with my share of negative comments. I also don't hate EJ and Sami, where the negativity comes in plenty. However, I have NEVER felt anything but appreciated on this board. If you "lurk" on other boards, which I will not mention, I can guarantee you that you will not find a board as welcoming and appreciative of all of the opinions of its posters like the Spectator is. The others are actually quite mean to fans of characters/actors they do not like. :cry:

I am not a butt kiss, and that is not my intention to come across as one. I just speak what I think and I don't feel that the moderators have anything to be belittled for here.

The issue is that there are a lot of people who love EJ and Sami, but most of them congregate to boards that are only "Pro-EJ/Sami" because they have had to put up with constant criticism from those who can't see these two as anything but abuser/victim. BUT, THAT IS THE HISTORY OF THIS COUPLE!! That is what makes them controversial and what makes posters on each side of the fence so passionate about their opinions! That is why ever conversation about them turns into a debate!!

Sometimes those of us who enjoy EJ and Sami feel overwhelmed by those who dislike the pairing. So, may I suggest that, instead of expressing your distaste with the Spectator, that EJ and Sami fans become just as vocal as their naysayers, post on topics, express your opinions!! Those who are lurking, Speak Up!! We love the opinions, the debate, the passion in your posts, so please don't feel that you are being belittled. We appreciate all opinions, even if we don't agree with them, well at least the Darling here does!!

IN SHORT, :love: :kiss::hug:..... MUCH LOVE TO THE SPECTATOR AND ALL ITS POSTERS, EJ/SAMI FANS, HATERS AND ALL!!!
 
I guess now that I have had some time to think about this discussion (I am breaking beans to get some canning done this weekend so I have had plenty of thinkin time:)) I am just noticing that some people are not natural debaters, I have always loved a good debate but maybe a person who is not comfortable with debateing, views it much like a fight, I guess that is just me tryin to see both sides of this, as I said I have had a lot of thinkin time on my hands with 10 gallons of green beans lol. I like to debate and argue my point because I usually believe I am right, lol. I hope that the ones who were feeling bashed have been able to read the post and understand that nobody is intentionally trying to hurt your fealings or make you feel like you don't have a valid opinion, I always view people on the other side of a debate as them wanting maybe even challenging a response and I always enjoy "makin my move " I do hope we can just get back into our topics and enjoy the fun of making our points known. Hugs to everyone. :)
 
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