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One article in today's paper caught my attention, If Chris P. Tater, stands too closely to the heat source, he will be prematurely Black, and then some... Keep little Chris P Tater Safely away from hot things Mama....
 
:rotfl::rotfl::clap::clap::sarcasm::sarcasm: Appreciate everyone's comments. Sami's list of names had me wondering how do you remember all that? And I love all the sarcasm!

Sami's only been married 5 times??? Thought it was more than that!!!
 
Among the notable social events in Salem this week was a gala party held at the beautifully-decorated home of dedicated University Hospital public-relations expert Jennifer Deveraux. The festive event was held in honor of the nineteenth birthday of her handsome son, JJ's, true love, attractive Salem U. honor student Paige Larson. Notable guests included: miracle surgeon and hospital romeo Dr. Daniel Jonas; brilliant hospital chief of staff Dr. Kayla Johnson; beautiful hospital administrative assistant and former EJ DiMera shower-mate Abigail Deveraux; Ms. Larson's good friend, Daphne, a well-known gossip; and Rory, Salem U.'s leading expert on cannabis. Sadly, the festivities came to an abrupt end when Ms. Larson angrily revealed that she was aware that Mr. Deveraux had been involved in a remarkably inappropriate relationship with her mother, retired cabaret singer Eve Larson. In addition to the happy mood, a casualty of Ms. Larson's unseemly revelations was a cake bearing a touching inscription indicating that Mr. Deveraux will love Ms. Larson forever. To the horror of the assembled guests, Ms. Larson threw the cake to the floor before storming away, followed by Mr. Deveraux who was begging for an opportunity to explain. Alas, as many Salemites know, the road to true love in our city is often rocky and I'm sure all readers wish Mr. Deveraux well in his efforts to make amends, although under the circumstances, his task seems impossibly difficult.
 
Important visitors to Salem this week include Kimberly Donovan, wife of the famed ISA agent Shane Donovan. Ms. Donovan is here to visit with her beloved daughter, well-known party girl Jeannie Theresa, and her almost-newborn son, the adorable Tate, affectionately known to many as Tater Tot, whose father is Titan CEO and sometime drug abuser and alcoholic, Mr. Brady Black. According to insiders, Ms. Donovan is here to persuade her beloved daughter to relocate to sunny California with her baby. We are certain that Ms. Donovan has only the best interests of her daughter and grandson at heart, but as any Salem parent would tell her, our little city is the finest place in the world to raise a child.
 
Salem business circles are buzzing this week over the news that Titan mogul Victor Kiriakis has named his nephew, Justin Kiriakis, to oversee operations at Mad World cosmetics. With this stellar move, the sagacious Mr. Kiriakis has combined the knowledge of the tough cosmetics industry possessed by brilliant CEO Kate Roberts Brady and the organizational genius and legal acumen of Justin Kirakis, a renowned attorney and rumored adulterer. Those in the know are certain that Mad World will soon be putting the major national brands in the shade, and that the late, great Ms. Madison James would be pleased and proud to have the younger Mr. Kiriakis and Ms. Brady leading her old company. Any Salemites who are lucky enough to encounter Justin Kiriakis should be sure to congratulate him on his latest career accomplishment.
 
Theresa told Melanie (while Brady was standing there) that had the baby been a girl, they'd have named her Melanie. But they didn't want to name the baby Melvin. After Kristen named him Christopher (presumably after herself), they wanted him to have his own name, not named for anyone. She said they liked the name Tate because it meant happiness and cheer, which is what Melanie brought to their lives by "finding" the baby and bringing him to them. So, in honor of her (bringing the happiness and cheer to their lives, via the baby), they were naming him Tate.
 
Bidding a fond farewell to Salem this week and bound for beautiful, historic Vienna, is the popular Melanie Jonas the former premier party girl, professional card counter, and sometime University Hospital nurse. As many Salemites know, the beautiful Ms. Jonas is the daughter of renowned University Hospital surgeon and ladies man, Dr. Daniel Jonas, and Dr. Carly Manning the distinguished physician and former pill-popper, who was allegedly one-third of a love triangle involving herself and noted Salem P.D. detectives Bo and Hope Brady. Ms. Jonas's departure is a supreme act of self-sacrifice made so that the surprise infant son of her almost fiance, the handsome Titan CEO and former substance abuser Mr. Brady Black, and the attractive Ms. Theresa Donovan, a hospital administrative assistant who is best known as the rumored cause of businessman John Black's latest coma, will grow up enjoying the loving attention of both of his dedicated parents. We can only applaud Ms. Jonas's actions, which will allow the child, Master Tate "Tater Tot" Black, to grow and thrive under the loving, wise, undistracted care of Mr. Black and Ms. Donovan. If only others in the past had Ms. Jonas's awareness for the need for good parenting, our beloved city would not currently have so many unhappy, dysfunctional adults.
 
This weekend, leading Salem socialite, Giselle van Hopper, hosted her annual Belmont Stakes garden party on the magnificently landscaped grounds of her beautiful mansion. A veritable who's who of Salem high society was there and a wonderful time was had by all. Unfortunately missing from the festive scene were: our esteemed Police Commissioner, Roman Brady, who was unavoidably detained by the need to make sure that nobody was doing unauthorized detective work on the sly; distinguished DiMera Enterprises executive, Chadsworth DiMera, who was reportedly engaged in acts of open-air fornication in his mansion garden; and billionaire businessman Victor Kiriakis, who was forced to cancel because he had to severely chastise a wayward family member. Hopefully, all of these notables will be able to make Ms. van Hopper's Fourth of July extravaganza, when the guests of honor, veteran travelers Doug and Julie Williams, will present of slide-show of stunning photos taken during their recent luxury cruise to the mysterious, fog-bound Aleutian Islands.
 
Leaving Salem this week is noted writer and researcher Ms. Serena Mason, who is affectionately known to her many friends as Bluebird. Ms. Mason has been busy at University Hospital doing medical research for a story. Previously, she was in Africa working on another of her fascinating writing projects. Bidding a fond farewell to Ms. Mason are Titan TV personality Nicole Walker; apparently unemployed, perpetual Salem Inn resident Xander Cook; noted photographer, ex-priest, and Kristen DiMera victim Eric Brady; and beloved Brady Pub owner and expert cookie-baker Caroline Brady. According to informed sources, Ms. Mason is off to Hawaii to take a new position. Why anyone would exchange our beautiful city for the palm-lined shores of Waikiki is hard to understand, but I'm sure all Salemites will join me in wishing Ms. Mason good luck in her new job.
 
Once again, Salem is buzzing because one of our esteemed citizens has been featured on the cover of a national magazine. The lucky Salemite is Mr. Clyde Weston, the folksy trucking executive, rumored drug kingpin, and permanent Salem Inn resident. The publication is Sonix, the well-known glossy gossip rag whose standard of accuracy falls well below that of the typical supermarket tabloid. The article's author is once again noted Salem writer Will Horton, the master of misspellings, grammatical errors, and worn-out cliches. Any Salemite who wishes to congratulate Mr. Weston on his cover appearance should stop by the Town Square where he is often seen in convivial conversation with the brilliant cosmetics executive, Ms. Kate Roberts, the Mad World bigshot, who is rumored to have recently obtained her position by engineering the firing of her son, the handsome and long-suffering Lucas Horton.
 
Back in Salem after a long hiatus caused by a minor misunderstanding with the state tax department is international businessman, noted philanthropist, music connoisseur, and alleged criminal mastermind Stefano DiMera. Welcoming Mr. DiMera back to the family mansion is his beloved son, Chadsworth, who is for the moment his only surviving child, a status that is subject to change without notice because, like Mr. DiMera, his offspring have the ability to come back to life. Mr. DiMera has not announced any future plans now that he's returned to our wonderful city, but based on past events, certain Salemites should buckle their seat belts because they may be in for a wild ride.
 
To the surprise of family & friends, it was announced that Theresa Donovan, who was recently reunited with her stolen baby, Tate Black, will be domiciled with Baby Tate, in father Brady Black's home, the Kiriakis mansion. Although this was deemed "temporary" by both Mr. Black & Ms. Donovan, she has commented "who knows what could happen in a few days". Baby Tate will finally be brought home by both parents "tomorrow".
 
Ballistix is pleased to announce that it has hired it's very first fashion spokesmodel in none other than Abigail Deveraux. A member of Salem's prominent Horton family, Ms. Deveraux's first assignment will be to model the Fall line of Ballistix shirt dresses, the newest trend in work attire for young professionals. Ms Deveraux joins the ranks of other Salemites with one note wardrobes such as her University Hospital colleague Anne Milbauer, whose wardrobe consists solely of monotone wrap dresses.
 
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