Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 17

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Tweet from Horton Cabin Raccoon No. 1: Woe is us! She's baaaack! The prissy blonde with the bad appendix.

Reply from Raccoon No. 2: And she had the heater repaired. Does this means she plans to stay?

Reply from Raccoon No. 3: Hopefully the scruffy guy who performs surgery with a can-opener and duct tape won't show up.

Reply from Raccoon No. 4: Or that dime-store lover boy and his bimbo of the moment.

Reply from Raccoon No. 2: Or the peeping tom with the camera.

Reply from Raccoon No. 1: Would a can of Raid get rid of these people?
 
Post from Raccoon no. 1 : Darn, it's worse than we all thought. A crazy guy is pointing a gun at the prissy blonde. Oh, wait, the blonde has managed to hit him with a fire poker. Good, crisis averted.

Post from Raccoon no. 2 : Not so fast, the guy is up again. Wow, the prissy blonde can be mean with her mouth but her arm is like butter. Crazy guy has caught her again.

Post from Raccoon no. 3 : Gee, now the blonde is trying to sweet talk this dude. Never gonna work ! See... I told you ! He's grabbed the gun again !

Post from Raccoon no. 4 : Wait ! Another blonde just hit him over the head with a paddle. He's down. The blondes are making a run for it !

Post from Raccoon no. 1 : GRAB THE GUN, YOU DIMWITS ! I don't have hands and I still thought of that !

Post from Raccoon no. 2 : Too late, crazy dude is up again ! Holding them both hostage, now ! Hey ! Should one of us try to bite the guy ?

Post from Raccoons no. 1, 3 and 4 : Heck, no ! We don't know where this guy's been. Let's continue to watch. Pretty sure the scruffy wonder doctor slash superhero will show up soon. :rolleyes:
 
Reply from the Salem Forest Preserve Bear: I've had it with this baloney! I'm supposed to have peace and quiet here on the island. I'm going to start hanging out in people's offices. At least they are unoccupied and quiet. Besides, I need some privacy to make phone calls and get caught up on my social media accounts.

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Tweet from Horton Cabin Raccoon No. 1: OMG, I was out in the woods looking for goodies and saw a dead guy with a big branch sticking out of his chest.

Reply from Percy: Greetings! I too had a bit of unpleasantness. A chap named EJ stopped by and without saying so threatened to strangle me. How rude.

Reply from Gabi: OMG, OMG, the sky is falling. That awful Sami Brady wants to take my baby!!

Reply from Theresa: Help, every muscular hunk in Salem is on my case!! They don't believe in my innocence! Why?

Reply from Nicole: Everyone in town suspects me of everything. If Salem was hit by a plague of locusts, people would blame me. The stress is killing me. P.S., can deleted files from smashed phones be recovered?

Reply from Nick: Panic if you will, people, but I, Nick Fallon, am cool as a cucumber. I am in command. I fear no man (even DiMeras).

Reply from Sami: You smug doody-head!! My darling, ever-faithful smoochy-moochy will fix you!! P.S., I HATE you!!
 
Tweet from "Salem Mystery Fan": OK, Salemites, who shot Nick Fallon. Any thoughts?

Reply from Sami: Don't even THINK that it was my darling smoochy-moochy! He's changed, changed, changed! And not me either. One shooting a year is enough, even for me.

Reply from EJ: You're so right sweet hot. And if I'd arranged Nick's death, he'd have dropped after only one shot never to rise again.

Reply from Sonny: Not me. I'm a respectable business owner. Anyway, Uncle Vic and Brady are in charge of Kiriakis rough stuff.

Reply from Will: Me neither. I'm a lover, not a fighter. And I've sworn off shootings since plugging EJ at the church. Ooops!

Reply from Gabi: OMG, OMG, not me, not me!! I couldn't even kill a cockroach.

Reply from Rafe: That's right, and it wasn't me either. I'm an officer of the law. Besides, everyone knows that the only shooter on the Salem P.D. is Hope Brady.

Reply from Percy: Greetings from Devon!! I too had nothing to do with the Nicholas Fallon unpleasantness. At the fatal moment, I was hoisting a pint with Prince Harry at the Crown & Anchor.

Reply from Ben: Don't look at me. Fallon getting rough with a girl I barely know is no motive at all. Even in Salem.

Reply from Kate: Don't even think about me. Nick was a pest, but my real target is a certain duplicitous physical therapist.

Reply from John Wilkes Booth: It certainly wasn't me. I've been dead since 1865.

Reply from "Salem Mystery Fan": Thanks for the feedback. Could it be that Fallon shot himself three times with a gun he didn't have? Only in Salem.
 
Tweet from EJ's triggerman: Bummer. I went to an unnamed Illinois city for a job, but somebody shot and killed the target before I could. Worse, the tightwad who hired me wanted a full refund.

Reply from Triggerman 2: These people who hire us just don't have any ethics.

Reply from from Vargas: If it's Salem you're talking about, I'm not surprised. You meet a better class of people here in State Prison than you do there.

Reply from Kate: Triggermen, send me your cards. I may need your services sometime. If I try the poisoned brownies approach again, people will suspect me.
 
Gabi: I am SO excited I'm gonna be on a reality show called "I Wanna Marry Harry"!! I may be Princess Gabriella :rolleyes:
 
Tweet from Bo Brady: Why hasn't Elvis Junior been arrested for the killing of Nick Fallon?

Reply from Hope: We just don't have any evidence.

Reply from Bo Brady: Charge him anyway. He's a DiMera, he must have done it.

Reply from Roman: As Hope says, Little Brother, we don't have any evidence.

Reply from Bo Brady: Get over to the DiMansion and get some. There's always something to find there.

Reply from Hope: Brady, we don't have enough to ask for a search warrant.

Reply from Bo Brady: Fancy Face, have you forgotten everything I taught you. Warrants are for sissies. Just burglarize the place.

Reply from Ciara. Don't worry Daddy. I'll find some evidence against EJ in my backpack. P.S., come home soon. Mommy likes some yucky lawyer.

Reply from Sami: You people haven't been paying attention. EJ has CHANGED!! Besides, his hitman arrived too late to shoot Nick. Ooops. Anyway, I HATE you all!
 
Tweet from Marlena (@DocEvans): @ManeaterVH Good luck with @Roman_Brady3 at the Charity Gala! ROTFLMBO!!

Reply from Mrs VanHopper (@ManeaterVH): I will certainly enjoy him!! He's the only reason I'm going to the pahty after all!! you lose #dont be sad

Interjection from Ciara Brady (@pinkbackpack): @ManeaterVH Your check bounced. I'll need cash to close our deal. sad face

Interjectory response from Aiden Jennings (@sadlonelylawyer347): @pinkbackpack Ciara WHAT!?!? I thought WE had a deal.

Reply to Aiden from Ciara Brady (@pinkbackpack): @sadlonelylawyer347 Sorry Aiden but my grandpa @JustVictorK taught me to always work both angles. dimples I Run This Town

Response from Roman (@Roman_Brady3): What 'da hell is going on? I was busy NOT solving the Fallon murder. @pinkbackpack @ManeaterVH @DocEvans @sadlonelylawyer347
 
Tweet from a neighbor of Mama Hernandez: Have you heard, Mrs. Hernandez's daughter, Gabi, has confessed to killing some weirdo in a place called Salem?

Reply from neighbor 2: And didn't her other daughter, Arianna, once go to jail for selling drugs? And then she was killed by a DiMera drug dealer.

Reply from neighbor 3: And one son ran off to Argentina and the other one had an affair with a granny and is now involved with some sketchy Salem girl. Poor Mama Hernandez, after all she did for her kids.

Reply from Sami: Yes, it's a shame. Luckily it won't happen to me. My children are perfect! I'm Salem's BEST mother!!

Reply from EJ: Sweet hot, don't forget that William once sh...... Oh, never mind. That's all in the past.

Reply from Sami: You're so right smoochy-moochy. I'm perfect, Will's changed, you've CHANGED. It's everybody else that's all messed up.
 
Tweet from Sami: My smoochy-moochy is such a legal genius!! He got Gabi Hernandez a great plea deal!! Eat your heart out Perry Mason!

Reply from Perry Mason: Leave me out of this, but just for the record, if I'd handled the defense, somebody else, maybe you Sami Brady, would have confessed on the witness stand.

Reply from F. Lee Bailey of the OJ Simpson "Dream Team": Plea deal? With me and my fellow dream teamers on the case, Gabi Hernandez would be walking free. Remember, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Reply from Ben Matlock: I never do plea deals. My folksy charm would have gotten Gabi Hernandez acquitted and maybe me elected mayor of Salem. Lord knows it needs a good one.

Reply from Ally McBeal: I could have done better and maybe had a romantic encounter with Gabi's handsome brother, Rafe. He's a such a hunk!

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP you doody-heads. You're just jealous of my BRILLIANT smoochy-moochy. P.S., I've added all of you to the list of people that I HATE!
 
Facebook post from Marlena to Roman: How did we have such a hateful child together. You sure she's really ours??

Reply from Roman: What did she do now??

Reply from Marlena: Tried to kill Nick and has no remorse, none, whatsoever.

Reply from Roman: Dammit, Sami!

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I hate both of you....and Nick too! Glad that doody head is dead!

Reply from Roman: Sigh..... well, Doc, at least we have our precious, perfect Carrie...... and Eric, to make up for it.

Reply from Sami: I HATE her, too!! By the way, that stoopid Anna is her mother, not mom!

Reply from Roman and Marlena: SHUT UP, Sami!
 
Facebook post from Marlena to Sami: Honey, you do realize that Nick was mentally ill and was seeking help, right?

Reply from Sami: So what?? He was a big, stoopid doody head. Who cares if he was mentally ill? He was a certifiable whackadoodle.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, you do remember that your Aunt Samantha was mentally ill and it runs in the family? You might have inherited her gene for mental instability yourself. How would you feel if people wanted to kill you??

Reply from Sami: OMG, mom, been there, done that. And I'm still standing. It's not like I'm out, running around and killing people.

Reply from Roman: Uhhhh, Sami.. you do remember Bernardi, right??

Reply from Sami: OMG, daddy, kill one man and next thing you know, you're labeled a "murderer". Besides, I was cleared on that, remember?? Thanks to my smoochy-moochy's dear sweet ol' daddy, I got away with it, so there!!

Reply from Carrie to Roman and Marlena: Just makes you love me all the more, huh?? Kisses!!

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU ALL!
 
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