Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 25

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Just Samantha

Just Samantha

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Facebook post from Eli: Can't believe this. I've crash-landed on a deserted island. I'm here with JJ, Lani, Sonny, Paul, Chad and Gabi.

Reply from Julie: Oh, darling! You really are one of us! We've all been there, done that! You'll be OK. Someone will find you eventually. Just make sure you don't hook up with that awful Gabi while you're there. The last thing we need is for her to produce another Horton child.

Reply from Eli: Uh, thanks? Your concern is touching. :rolleyes:
 
Facebook post from "Doll-in-Blanket": I'm too busy to work today, so I sent someone to take my place. Hope no one notices the difference.

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Reply from Chloe: What a great picture of my baby, Holly!! I'm going to make this my Facebook profile picture!

Reply from Sami: Shut-up, you stupid tramp! That's MY baby, Sydney.

Reply from Abby: I'm pretty sure that's a picture of Thomas.

Reply from Maggie: Isn't Tate the most precious little thing?!

Reply from "Doll-in-Blanket": Wow, this was easier than I thought it would be. Glad these Salem women are so clueless.
 
Facebook post from Baby Holly's alter ego, Doll-in-Blanket: To quote the great French writer Emile Zola, "J'accuse." How could some judge give me to the dopey diva? Yes, nobody can be biologically related to a doll, but Mommy Nicole is popular with all the children in Salem and would be the best parent. And living with her would mean staying in the luxurious K-mansion, where that I'd get to see a shirtless Brady Black, get waited on by Henderson, nosh on Maggie's home-baked cookies, and laugh at Victor's snark. In contrast, with the queen of cleavage, I'd be in some seedy apartment right next to the Chicago Transit tracks and have to share space with that brat Parker. He'd probably make me wait on his stuffed animals or worse use me to play catch with his delinquent friends. Heck, I'd even be better off with screechy Sami Brady. Sure, she'd never learn my name, but I've heard that Johnny, Sydney, and Allie are cool.
 
Salem social media reacts to Black Friday at Titan.

Deimos: Sonny fired fifty people whom I hired? And everyone thought that I was the cruel Kiriakis.

Victor: Sonny is an idiot. Now I'll have to double security here at the mansion in case some revenge-minded ex-employee tries to shoot the place up in an act of revenge.

Salem Bar Association: Sonny's innocent victims shouldn't take this lying down. They should immediately call our hotline to consult with an experienced attorney about filing a lawsuit.

Sami: Sonny Kiriakis is one nasty little brat. (He was never good enough for my Will.) I never fired anyone when I was in charge of a company. When the employees learned that I was in charge, they all quit.

Kate: That little snot Sonny just fired fifty loyal employees. I'll bet many of them would be good hires for the new, revitalized DiMera Enterprises. Titan's loss will be my gain.

Ghost Will: :cry: No, Sonny, no! How could my sweet husband be so cruel?! I'll bet it's that stoopid Paul who put you up to this. :cry: After all, his already feeble little mind has been addled by jungle madness,
 
Facebook post from Eli to Julie: Hey, grandma, thank you for the generous gift of the Martin House. I really do appreciate it, but honestly, I'm not all that financially set as an FBI agent. Not sure if I can afford the taxes and upkeep on a place this big. My finances run more in the range of a small two bedroom condo.

Reply from Julie: Eli, darling, have no fears. You are a Horton and you now live in Salem. You are free to help yourself to the Salem Money Tree whenever you need money.

Reply from Jade: Salem Money Tree? Why haven't I heard of this? Can I help myself, too?

Reply from Julie: No, you trouble-making tart. You're not a Horton OR a Brady. Go away. Now!
 
Thanks to Jason DiSpeech for suggesting this post.

Tweet from fired Titan employee no. 1: Sonny Kiriakis is crazy. Doesn't he know the difference between being hired by Deimos and being hired by human services while Deimos was in charge?

Reply from fired employee no. 2: And that "big" severance he paid out is a joke. It isn't even enough to eat at his favorite fast-food place, Big Boy hamburgers, for a week.

Reply from fired employee no. 3: You've got that right. Doesn't this conceited little twerp realize that ordinary Salemites don't have access to the famous Money Tree?

Reply from fired employee no. 4: Frankly, I think he caught jungle madness on that Greek island and doesn't know it. I've heard that he's running around Salem bragging about what a great leader he is. What a joke.

Reply from fired employee no. 5: You've got that right. Big Boy Sonny is going to run Titan right into a ditch. Old man Kiriakis better hope that he's got some money socked away or he'll spend his final declining years living under a bridge.

Reply from fired employee no. 6: Let's forget about the pompous little cockroach and head over to the Pub. I hear that Roman is offering free beer and Bradyburgers to all fired Titan employees. Unlike Sonny, he's a real human being.
 
Salem social media reacts to the murder of Deimos:

Andre: Oh, joy, how long will it be before they blame this on Father?

Harold: Glad that this happened at Martin House, which means I won't have to clean up after the clumsy cops leave.

Jenny: How dare Raines think that my JJ might have killed Deimos. I'm going down to police headquarters right now to confront him!

Xander: As soon as the cops figure out who did this (which might be quite a while), I'll be back to Salem to get revenge! You can count on it.

Father Louis: If the Salem in-crowd would come to church more often, maybe things like this wouldn't happen.

Titan employee: Sorry to hear about Mr. Deimos. He was the best type of boss -- he was never around. In contrast, power-mad Sonny is a total twit.
 
Reply from Sami: Deimos is dead?? OMG, he was my favorite child!! :cry: How will I ever get past this devastation?? Deimos is a Kiriakis? I had him to Justin, right? This is John Black's fault. I just know it!
 
Since Bo Brady is no longer hosting his Fourth of July Brady Burger Festival, Salemites are spending the holiday sending tweets to Commissioner Raines offering tips on the Deimos murder.

Julie: It's obviously that Gabi creature. She killed my dear Nicky, and as the old saying goes, after a person has killed once, it gets easier. Stop her now before she kills us all!

Sami: It has to be stoopid Abigail. That man-stealing, shower-loving tramp is capable of anything. After all, didn't she try to burn that nice Ben fellow alive.

Victor: Sleazy Dario did it. According to my sources, he tried to kill my little brother once before. Besides, he has no class just like Chloe Lane, Eve Donovan, Nicole Walker, and Vivian Alamain.

Andre: Deimos's real killer is that homicidal harridan Hope Brady. Any woman who would cruelly murder my dear, sweet, helpless old father must have done it. Put this medusa back in prison where she belongs!

Titan Employee: My money is on "Big Boy" Sonny Kiriakis. Anyone who would fire 50 hard-working, inoffensive employees is capable of anything. This twit's idea of "leadership" could easily include murder.

Jade: Kayla Johnson must have done it. After all, she murdered poor inoffensive Ava Vitali, and right now she's trying to kill helpless hospital patients with the wrong medications.

Marge Bernardi: Sami Brady did it. She snuck back into Salem and murdered Deimos the same way she killed my poor Joe. This blonde screecher is a menace who belongs in jail.

Susan Banks: Marge is so right. The real killer is mean, mean, mean Sami Brady. I've heard that she even once tried to kill my darling baby boy. This she-devil is capable of anything!
 
Reply from Sami: Why are people blaming me, the grieving mother? Deimos was my favorite child from when I was married to Victor.

Reply from Lucas: for the love of Pete, can somebody PLEASE create some sort of app where Sami can keep track of her children and former husbands???

Reply from Sami: Pete? He was my second husband, right? Or is he one of my sons? Either way, I loved Pete dearly.

Reply from Lucas: See? See what I mean?!!
 
Facebook post from the Salem's Mayor's Office: excerpts from Mayor Carver's Q&A with concerned Salemites.

Q: I was shocked to learn that you presided at the farcical marriage of that thug Dario Hernandez and that empty-headed divorcee Abigail Deveraux. How could you do this?
A: Most Salem in-crowd marriages are farces to a certain extent. I simply cannot discriminate.

Q: How can convicted criminal Hope Brady serve as a police detective? Shouldn't her past convictions disqualify her?
A: Few people in Salem are really qualified for their jobs. Hope Brady is just one more example. Besides, she rarely does any real police work, so where's the harm?

Q: Why was the Forest Preserve Bear allowed to participate in yesterday's hot-dog-eating contest? It just wasn't fair. My son practiced for months, but he had no chance against that big, gluttonous bear!
A: When a 350-lb. bear wants to participate, who's going to argue with him. I'll arrange for your son to get a participation trophy.

Q: I live in constant fear that the awful screecher, Sami Brady, might return to Salem. Is Salem prepared for this horrible event?
A: Check my mayoral website. There's an entire page on how to stay safe if Ms. Brady returns.
 
Facebook post from Claire: Is it weird that my former uncle is marrying my grandma?

Reply from Sami: What? You better not be talking about MY Rafe marrying my stoopid, old Aunt Hope, who is a dried up granny. Bad enough MY Lucas is marrying Uncle Steve's old dried up granny sister.

Reply from Lucas: Sami, must I remind you that YOU are also a grandma?

Reply from Sami: Shut up, Lucas! I am far too young to be a grandma! And even if I was a grandmother, I'd be a truly radiant one.

Reply from Lucas: Does the name Arianna ring any bells?

Reply from Sami: Yes, she's MY Rafe's dead sister.

Reply from Lucas: For the love of Pete, why do I bother?

Reply from Sami: I told you before, of course I love Pete, he's one of my favorite kids.
 
Salemites take to social media to reiterate their favorite themes.

Sonny: I had to be the one who killed Deimos. I just know it.

Abigail: I had to divorce Chad. I need a man who loves only me.

Chloe: Baby Holly is mine. I just said Nicole could have her to be nice.

NuJade: Kayla killed poor Ava. It's true!

Julie: Gabi Hernandez is no good. She killed my sweet Nicky.

Sami: Will you people just shut up. Don't you realize how tiresome you are -- saying the same stoopid thing over and over? By the way, John Black did ruin my life and EJ did so change!
 
Facebook post from Tripp: I hate Kayla! She ruined my life when she killed my mom in a hospital bed.

Rely from Sami: Oh yeah, well I hate John! He ruined my life when he had sex with my mom on the Titan conference room table.

Reply from Tripp: Really? So you know what it's like for a step-parent to ruin your life? Tell me more.

Reply from the Salem population: NOOOOO!
 
Reply from Sami: Shut up, you stoopid Salemites. OK, Trippy, here goes. My Mom was happily married to Dad when this stoopid loser named John Black (what a doodyhead) showed up, blah, blah, blah ...."

Reply from Tripp: Uh, thanks, I think I've heard way more than enough. Gotta go. I have to go off to some dark corner and seethe with hatred for Kayla.

Reply from Sami: You're cutting me off? You little twerp, I HATE you. By the way, your mother had absolutely no taste in men. She was actually infatuated with the likes of grubby Steve Johnson. Yuck. Worse, she also had an affair with the awful John Black when he was in his RoboJohn phase. Double yuck.

Reply from Marlena: Sami, dear. Please don't speak unkindly of Steve and tell awful stories about John. It's very unkind of you.

Reply from Sami: Sorry, Mom, the truth will out. And be happy that I didn't tell this Tripp kid the ugly truth about bad twin Eric and stoopid Carrie.
 
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