Faux spoilers, part 7

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DrBakerFan

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Fearful that there will be a big ratings drop now that the "golden couple" are no longer on screen, TPTB once again resort to more ridiculously misleading spoilers.

Marlena receives a message from Sami saying that she's returning to Salem (someday).

Theresa shares a bedtime moment with Paul (she straightens the blanket on his hospital bed).

Brady has a surprise encounter with Theresa (he sees her on the other side of the Town Square and flees in the opposite direction).

Paige sees JJ in a serious conversation with another girl (she sees him helping Ciara with a difficult homework question).

A reluctant Eve decides to tell Paige the awful truth (they've run out of Wanchai Ferry shrimp lo mein).

Kate feels the walls closing in on her (she remarks that the DiMansion library is small compared to the living room).

Anne Milbauer is thrilled when she gets both Jennifer and Abigail fired (and then wakes up from a dream).
 
Anxious to add drama to the Paul Narita story, TPTB reveal that Theresa, furious that Paul has the hots for Sonny and not for her, leaks the news about his secret surgery to the media, prompting the following headlines.
New York Times: Has Narita's Secret Surgery Ruined His Career?
Washington Post: Baseball Execs Question Ethics of Narita's Secret Surgery.
Chicago Tribune: Rumors of Incompetence, Quackery, and Cronyism at Narita's Third-Rate Hospital.
Boston Globe: Sports Medicine Specialists Seriously Question Qualifications of Narita's Secret Surgeon.
Salem Spectator: Ranting Jennifer Deveraux Angrily Stonewalls Media Questions About Narita.
TMZ.com: Hospital Beauty Shares Tales of Tender Love Moments with Narita.
National Enquirer: Sordid Love Past of Narita's Surgeon Revealed!
 
Hoping to hype interest in the Melanie and Sonny-Paul stories as well as other plot lines, the shameless TPTB again resort to absurdly misleading spoilers.
An anguished Will discovers the shocking truth about Paul Narita! [He learns that he prefers green tea to Club TBD coffee.]
A shocked Sonny discovers that Paul Narita has been lying about himself! [He discovers that Paul's vaunted 1.42 E.R.A. was achieved in Little League.]
Melanie vanishes!!!! [Daniel is so busy gossiping with his egg-mommy at the Pub that he doesn't notice that Melanie has gone to the ladies room.]
Daniel learns a surprising truth about Melanie's stay in France! [His air-headed daughter never bothered to learn to speak any French, and doesn't even know the meaning of the words "oui," "bon jour," and "parle vous Anglais."]
A horrified Kate witnesses Stefano's faithful operatives, Sergio and Ricardo, ruthlessly gunning down Clyde in the Town Square!! [And then wakes up from a nightmare.]
Rafe learns what Clyde did to Jordan! [He's crossed her off his Christmas card list.]
T threatens Clyde after witnessing his latest misdeed! [He tells Clyde that he really ought to leave bigger tips for the Club TBD staff.]
Hope learns a distressing truth about Aiden! [He leaves the toilet seat up.]
Ben and Abigail's love life hits a snag! [They discover that their favorite hospital storage closet is locked.]
 
After learning that many viewers are heartily sick of the Town Square set, TPTB decide to move many characters and much of the action to University Hospital.
Eve becomes the new manager of the hospital gift shop, which sells such items as Daniel's "Girls of the OR" calendars and take-home hospital gowns that have a certain surgeon's face on the front.
Brady takes a quickie course of studies at Salem U.'s medical school and within a few months becomes a brilliant brain surgeon. (To ensure a good list of brain tumor plots for Brain Surgeon Brady, the writers start watching episodes of the old 1960s Ben Casey TV series.)
Inspired by Brady, Ben takes Salem U.'s quickie, two-week nursing course and then takes a job at the hospital (where most of his duties consist of "entertaining" Abigail in a storage closet).
Sonny drops the South Side club idea and opens a coffee bar at the hospital, meaning that he will get to spend most of his time there gossiping with one and all.
Maxine waives age requirements, allowing Ciara to become a candy-striper (which allows her to encourage grateful patients to get her a little something from Baron's, Tiffany's, Van Cleef & Arpels, or Bulgari).
Wanting to spend even more time with her egg-baby and newly-returned egg-granddaughter, Maggie becomes the official hospital home-baked cookie supplier and makes daily "cookie runs" to keep the place well stocked.
Jennifer hires washed-up screenwriter Will to write press releases for the hospital (where most of his releases begin: "The Hospital Denies Any Medical Malpractice in the Case of ....").
Realizing that he almost never arrests anyone, Rafe quits the Salem P.D. and becomes head of hospital security, which leaves him plenty of time to make unwanted visits to Jordan, and wander around gossiping.
Chad decides to become a hands-on trustee and takes a plush, wood-paneled office at the hospital, whose furnishings include the DiMera Love Couch, which he can use as a location for giving a certain physical therapist some special physical therapy.
 
TPTB try to rev up audience interest in the Hope-Aiden relationship with spoilers in which Aiden receives messages warning him about Hope.
Sami warns Aiden that Ciara is quite a handful and once forced her to buy a large number of pricey earrings at Baron's.

A traumatized University Hospital patient tells Aiden that she's had nightmares ever since she saw trigger-happy Hope shoot down Mayor Marino's killer right by the nurses' station.

Mrs. Finnegar emails Aiden to tell him that Hope once helped Bo kidnap and assault her beloved son, Arnold.

Stefano calls to inform Aiden that Hope helped Bo burglarize the DiMansion and steal the Irish church tabernacle key.

An anonymous tipster warns Aiden to beware of Bo and lets him know that he was fond of telling people that he might "take them apart."

The Alamanian embassy sends Aiden an official letter indicating that Hope is wanted in Alamania for less-than-legal acts committed the last time she was there with "the Pawn."

Dr. Baker sends Aiden a note letting him know about Hope's adventures as the Salem mugger.

A Brady Pub and Club TBD regular warns Aiden that if he marries Hope, he'll have intrusive busybody Julie as a mother-in-law.
 
A Brady Pub and Club TBD regular warns Aiden that if he marries Hope, he'll have intrusive busybody Julie as a mother-in-law.
Click to expand...
Slash, sister-in-law!! Aiden then ponders getting involved with a woman whose family is so twisted that her sister is also her stepmother and her father is also her brother-in-law.
 
Shawn-Douglas Brady also reaches out to Aiden. Confused, Aiden questions who he is. Aiden then further ponders getting involved with a woman who not only hid her adult son from him but also hid her granddaughter who is older than her troublemaking daughter.
 
Noting the current popularity of zombie movies, TPTB release spoilers about zombies appearing in Salem.

The drug dealers and muggers who frequent Salem Park are shocked when they encounter Zombie EJ, who's calling: "Samanther, sweet hot, tell Fatha that Clyde did it."

Kate flees the DiMansion after encountering Zombie Bart who is still impaled on a sword.

Chaos breaks out at Roman's jail when Zombie Arnold Finnegar appears and runs amok.

When Zombie Nick suddenly appears in the Town Square, Hope has new reasons to doubt Aiden's character when the attorney pushes old ladies and tiny tots out of his way while fleeing the scene.

Smith Islanders are terrified when Zombie Liam starts roaming around in the woods looking for his Chyka papers.

When Zombie Trent Robbins rises up out of his grave, it ruins a Salem Cemetery pot party organized by Rory and his stoner pals.

TPTB are pleased when ratings for the zombie-themed shows are good, but are most unhappy when many viewers say they liked the zombies better than the boring newbie characters.
 
Hoping to appease Rafe fans who are upset by him being forced off the Salem P.D., TPTB leak some Rafe-related spoilers.

Titan TV offers to finance a quest by Rafe to find Bo Brady, which will be reported by Nicole. If he finds the long-lost detective, he's asked to greet him with the words: "Bo Brady I presume."

Rafe is interviewed for head-of-campus-security position at Salem U. If hired, can Rafe do a better job than bumbling Billie? Would he crack down on those Salem Park keg parties?

Rafe is also interviewed for the head-of-security job at University Hospital. If he gets the job, will he be driven crazy by Jeannie T. and Melanie? Would he try to crack down on the use of storage closets as trysting places by on-duty employees?

With time on his hands, Rafe gets into body-building. Can he best several shirtless hunks and win the coveted title of "Mr. Salem?"

Victor shares with Rafe his thoughts on the EJ shooting. Will Rafe then get the goods on creepy Clyde or will he simply rid Salem of the Poplar Bluff pervert by leaking what he knows to Stefano?
 
Aware that viewers are complaining that post-"Golden Couple" Days plots are gloomy and boring, TPTB decide to juice things up by injecting famous animals into the plots.

While visiting friends in the Salem Forest Preserve, Gentle Ben the Alaskan brown bear decides to head to Club TBD for a latte. When Ben rudely refuses him service, violence ensues. Who will win this battle of the Bens?

Ben the famous movie rat takes up residence in Club TBD and Sonny demands that Ben the bartender do something. Who will prevail in the ensuing battle of wits -- the rat or the hunk?

Lassie discovers that Theresa has fallen down a well in Salem Park. When she tries to get Salemites to save her, Lassie is shocked to learn that nobody cares. Will Rory and T help the famous dog execute a rescue??

Cujo the killer St. Bernard comes back to life and runs amok in Salem Park. Is this some evil DiMera plot or is it Victor's ingenious way of ridding Salem of Clyde and Jeremiah, who he knows always meet in the park?

Paddington Bear turns up in the Town Square. Can he fit into Salem society? After he learns what Salem society is really like, will he want to fit in??
 
Hoping to get a ratings boost because of the popularity of Downton Abbey, TPTB cut a deal with the producers of the series to have its characters visit Salem, leading to the release of these spoilers.

Lord Grantham chokes on his champagne when somebody suggests that he allow Will to interview him for an article in Sonix magazine.

Violence is narrowly avoided when Melanie overhears Lady Mary referring to Brady as a "common lout" and saying that the average English chimney sweep presents a better appearance than Dr. McScuffy.

Theresa again goes for the wrong guy when she makes a play for Thomas the gay under-butler, thinking that he's rich because he speaks with an English accent and dresses well.

Thomas decides to sample Salem's gay scene and ponders whether to try for an affair with Sonny, Paul, or Derrick, or perhaps all three. (He rejects Will because he doesn't want to end up in a Sonix article.)

Henderson and Harold are crushed when Carson the butler harshy criticizes their butlering skills. He also offends Victor when he asks why there are no maids and footmen at the K-mansion.
 
Thinking that the viewers love dream sequences, TPTB leak spoilers involving such scenarios.

Kate dreams that she's back married to Stefano, cook has quit, and she has to slave in the kitchen for hours preparing the Phoenix's favorite Italian dishes.

Abigail dreams that she's again showering with EJ and that all her friends and family are right outside the showers, calling her name.

Nicole dreams that she's married to Daniel, meaning that she constantly has to be in the company of his adoring daughter and egg-mommy.

Sonny dreams that he's in the Town Square trying to persuade people to come to the now empty Club TBD, but he can never catch up to them.

Rafe has the most pleasant dream of his life: he's back with the FBI, has never been to Salem, never married Sami, and has no idea who Kate and Jordan are.

Victor dreams that he's in the company of Clyde, Vivian, Chloe, and Nicole, and can't think of any clever one-liners to zing them with.
 
Brady and Melanie have a misunderstanding

Brady: "Wait, what? No I didn't say I wanted to date you, I said set up a play date with you. I thought we could see a Disney film or go to McDonald's for a Happy Meal." First Mel starts to cry :cry: then she says "Wait, you said Happy Meal! YAY!" (jumps up and down)
 
Aware that many viewers think the Paul-Sonny-Will triangle, the Paige-JJ relationship, and the Brady-Melanie love affair are total snoozers, TPTB fall back on their favorite tactic -- totally misleading spoilers.

Will and Sonny argue over a personal matter! Will they settle their differences? {In a product-placement scene, they debate the merits of Crest toothpaste.]

Derrick outs Paul! How will Paul's friends and fans take the news? [He tells everyone that Paul always leaves his room a mess and never tips the chambermaid.]

Jordan faces a major crisis! Who will help, Rafe or Chad? [Her cat, Arthur, has suddenly stopped using his litter box.]

Paige learns whom JJ has really been sleeping with! How will she react? [It's his old teddy bear, Mr. Cuddles.]

Maggie discovers what Victor has done! Will she forgive him? [She learns that he's been raiding the refrigerator for high-calorie midnight snacks.]

Theresa makes a major discovery! Whom will she tell? [When she enters a University Hospital ladies room, she learns that Melanie practices her imitation of a three-year-old in front of a mirror.]

John gets his police career off to a fast start by solving a major Salem mystery! What will Hope say? [He learns what's really in Ciara's backpack.]
 
Thinking that the viewers just can't get enough of Dr. Daniel Jonas, TPTB release what they think are exciting spoilers about his future adventures.

Without the help of any collie dogs, Daniel saves a small boy who's fallen down a well in Salem Park.

A crushed Clyde considers going back to Poplar Bluff after learning that Daniel doesn't like him.

Stefano is so impressed with Daniel that he starts investigating the possibility that, like Chad, he's another one of his accidental sons.

After Will writes a Sonix cover story about Daniel, Roman's cops struggle to protect him from hordes of infatuated teen-aged girls.

Representatives of shaving razor companies compete to get Daniel to use their product in a series of TV commercials.

When a visiting birdwatcher falls into the icy Salem River, Daniel literally walks on water to save him.

Daniel gets his own talk show on Titan TV. At the end of each broadcast, adoring women imitate Tom Jones fans by throwing their underwear at him.
 
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