Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 23

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Second reply from Sami: And Daddy, how is my oldest daughter, Summer, from when I was sorta married to Austin or Brandon Walker?

Reply from Roman: Dammit Sami, Summer is way too old to be your child. At last report she was supposed to be Maggie Kiriakis's daughter who was fathered by some oaf of a farmhand.

Reply from Sami: Hmm, maybe you're right about that Daddy, but how is my other daughter, Lani, doing on the Salem P.D.?

Reply from Roman: Who? Oh dammit, I give up.
 
DrBakerFan said:
Reply from Member 2: Why ask why? This is Salem. People just go poof. That's how it is. Let's go to the Pub for beers and listen in on the gossip.
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Obligatory reply from Don Craig: I'm still packing this care package to send to Tommy Horton. Neil Curtis must be really bored waiting for me on the 2nd floor of the hospital. We're going out for drinks tonight.
 
Facebook post by Shady Hills Hospital: Does your loved one constantly imagine that some monster from the past is stalking him/her? Has a member of your family become totally dysfunctional between the time you were declared dead and rejoined the land of the living? Are you distraught because your fiancée has dumped you by dumping you in the Salem River, because of a deep-seated fear that someone will try to feed you poisoned brownies, or because your spouse planned to strangle you on your wedding night? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then Shady Hills Hospital is for you. Call today. Our qualified staff will soon return you or your loved one to a state of peace, serenity, and sanity. Please note that we are a real hospital with more than one nurses' station, and unlike a certain institution in Salem, we have no quacks, instant nurses, pill-poppers, drooling hospital-gown fetishists, amorous dingoes, and no-show slackers among our employees.
 
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Facebook post by Roman Brady and the Salem P.D.: As all Salemites know, our police officers are always diligently enforcing the laws and protecting our wonderful city, but they do far more than that.

Officer JJ Deveraux spoke to Salem F.D. trainees on how to rescue persons from burning cabins. Way to go JJ. This is very useful information because of all the highly-flammable cabins there are in the Salem area.

Detective Hope Brady participated in a seminar at Salem University School of Law, which discussed the role of the temporary insanity defense in past Salem homicides.

Detective Rafael Hernandez explained to students in a Salem U. paralegal class the concept of accessory after the fact.

Detective Shawn Brady spoke to Salem High students about a career in law enforcement and made clear how with the proper family connections, a person's police career can really take off.

Retired detective John Black gave an inspirational talk to patients at Salem University Hospital who were recovering from comas and amnesia.

So there you have it Salemites, our police officers are always working for a better community. The next time you see them on their rounds, be sure to say "thank you."
 
DrBakerFan said:
Retired detective John Black gave an inspirational talk to patients at Salem University Hospital who were recovering from comas and amnesia.
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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Reply from Sami: John Black should talk to people about how to be a life ruiner!

Reply from Marlena: Sami, dear, we really need to talk about all this pent up anger towards John.

Reply from Sami: It's not pent up, mom! I freely let it out and educate everyone about what a doodyhead John is. I HATE him!

Reply from Ghost Will: What about when you ruined my life when I walked in and saw you and EJ defiling the DiMansion sofa??

Reply from Sami: Who are you????
 
Reply from Harold: With all due respect Mr. Ghost Horton, but given it's tawdry history, is it really possible to "defile" the DiMera love sofa?

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP, you doodyhead. EJ and I sanctified that sofa with our true love! I HATE you!

Reply from Roman: Dammit, Sami, the only appropriate response to my Facebook post by members of the public was to add more praise for the Salem P.D.

Reply from John: That's a fact.

Reply from Sami: No it's not a fact you life-ruining doodyhead. By the way, do you have any other response besides "that's a fact."

Reply from Roman: Dammit Sa ... whoops, gotta go. My crack CSI unit may have found more revealing clues down by the Salem River!
 
Tweet from Lucas: Great news, everyone. Adrienne and I are getting married! :love: We're so happy!

Reply from Justin: Happy? I'll be happy if my involvement with Deimos never gets out. Oops.

Reply from Kate: OMG, Lucas, are you out of your mind!? As soon as I get my hands on the Kiriakis fortune and see that witch Nicole tossed in prison, I'll put an end to this nonsense.

Reply from Lucas: Mom!!!

Reply from Sami: Butt out you home-wrecking hag. I HATE you! Lucas has every right to be happy -- not truly radiant like me and my darling smoochy-moochy -- but happy nevertheless.
 
Further reply from Sami: Wait, I just re-read Lucas' post. He's getting married to Adrienne Kiriakis??? NO NO NO, this cannot happen. Lucas still belongs to me. Same goes for Rafe, Brandon and Franco! So Adrienne can go kick rocks.

Reply from Lucas: Ummmm, Sami, I DON'T belong to you. And by the way, Franco is dead. Oh, and PS, Rafe has been sparking with your Aunt Hope.

Reply from Sami: Ugh, Hope is an old granny. What does he want with her???

Reply from Lucas: Unlike you, right? Last time I checked, YOU are a granny, too. Oh, and what about Austin?

Reply from Sami: Shut up! I HATE you! And Carrie can have ol' brain-dead stoopid Austin. He makes life-ruiner, doodyhead John Black look like a firecracker.
 
Tweet from Dario: I HATE my deadbeat Dad!!

Reply from Chad: What's your problem? At least your dad was a deadbeat who wasn't around. Try having D.A. Woods and Stefano DiMera for fathers. Now there are two problem parents.

Reply from Sami: Stefano? D.A. Woods? Forget them. The all-time worst (step) father is life-ruiner John Black. I HATE him!

Reply from Lucas: Why worry about dads? Mothers can be a far worse problem! I should know.

Reply from Sami: You're so right Lucas. Kate is a horror! I HATE her and John Black too. And I also HATE this stoopid Dario person. Why? He's a hater and everybody HATES a hater.

Reply from Roman: Haters? Dammit, Sami, take a look in the mirror.

Reply from Sami: I do, Daddy, and I look truly radiant.
 
Facebook post from Titan Industries: Titan's International Hotels Division proudly announces the opening of its new Green Martian Lodge in the hills near Salem. This perfect spot for scifi enthusiasts and UFO conspiracy theorists features a staff dressed in authentic Martian costumes, gardens landscaped to look just like the surface of Mars, and genuine Martian cuisine. It's so realistic that guests will expect Han Solo and Chewbacca to walk in the door at any moment. So don't delay, book a room today. Reservations will be essential. Also The Green Martian Lodge should not be confused with the nearby Green Mountain Lodge where true love goes to die and obsessive stalkers roam free.
 
Tweet from Brady: I'm so sick of Grandfather talking trash about my bride-to-be, Theresa. Doesn't he realize that she's changed.

Reply from Sami: No way. The only person in Salem who ever truly changed was my sweet, handsome, darling smoochy-moochy!

Reply from Ghost? EJ: You're so right sweet hot.

Reply from Andre: No, dear brother, the horrid screecher is wrong. How about poor little me? Thanks to my jail time, I quote Shakespeare instead of making threats.

Reply from Aiden: I've changed too. I rue the day that I fell into the clutches of the DiMeras. I truly love Hope and want to make her happy. Hopefully she won't realize that I've swiped her phone. Oops.

Reply from Eduardo: And me. I've quit my assassin ways and now only want to be a good Dad and a genial host at Club TBD.

Reply from Kate: What tripe. This "I've changed" stuff is vastly overrated. Now, what else can I do to make sure that tramp Nicole goes to jail?
 
Tweet from Victor: That cheap grifter Summer should be run out of town. She's a vile, lying, scheming witch who makes Kate Roberts Brady look like Mother Theresa.

Reply from John: That might be a fact.

Reply from Janet Bernard: Summer is a vicious criminal who's done something to my brother, Clark! I know it!

Reply from Dario: Hey, stop talking about Summer!

Reply from Victor: Put a sock in it, you lazy quitter. This horrid harridan is far worse than Chloe Lane Black, Nicole Walker, Eve Larson, and Vivian Alamain!!, She's more than a tramp, she's a cheap conniving tramp.

Second reply from Victor: Hmm, I've just talked serious trash about that wretched Summer and haven't had any complaints from my foolish grandson, Brady. I wonder why.
 
Tweet from John Black: $50k? In cash? Forget looking for my real parents, I'm going to start looking for my real son because this one isn't too bright!

Tweet from Brady Black: I might have to get engaged to Summer so she dies!
 
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Facebook post by Salem's trashy tabloid, the Intruder: Great news, Salemites, those who want to know the latest ugly rumors and inconvenient truths are in luck! The latest issue of the Intruder is now available! Check out these headlines!

Smith Island Horror: Picnickers and Weekend Visitors Flee as Resident Raccoons Run Amok!

Andre DiMera's Biggest Secret: He's a Gourmet Chef!

The Lies of Summer: The Dark and Dirty Past of Maggie Kiriakis's Alleged Daughter Revealed!

Deimos Kiriakis is Alive: The Intruder Reveals Where!

California Dreamin': The West Coast Odyssey of Teen Vandal Joey Johnson!

Chad DiMera Heartbroken as Abigail Goes Missing: What You Can Do to Help Find Her!

What the Green Mountain Lodge Doesn't Want You to Know: Ten Reasons Why You Should Stay Elsewhere!
 
Facebook post from Salem University Hospital: Great news, the golden era of doctors making house calls is back. Our superstar physician Dr. Fynn "Dingo" Thompson is now available for house calls at any hour of the night or day. Members of Salem's in-crowd automatically qualify for this service. Other Salemites wishing to join this elite group can do so by making a donation to the scholarship fund for University Hospital's accelerated M.D. and nursing programs. So give today. You and your loved ones can benefit from expert, caring, at-home medical care while helping those who want to qualify as a doctor or nurse by August 15.
 
Facebook post by Salem SORASing and Resurrection Services: As everyone knows, children suddenly advancing in age or the deceased returning to life are a common events in Salem. What is less known is that such things can lead to inconvenience and worse down the road. Imagine your SORASed teen's distress when his/her driver's license is rejected because public records indicate that they are only ten years old. Think of the frustration of the resurrected as they futilely try to convince obtuse government agencies that they are in fact alive again. Don't let this happen to you or a loved one. We can help! Call us today for an appointment!
 
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