Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 26

Facebook post by Eli: Why do we put up an ornament for a would-be rapist (Nick)? Isn't that kind of tacky?

Reply from Mike: Let me tell you about my conception. [fills in Eli via private message]

Reply from Eli: For real? Man, that's messed up, but OK, so we all just look the other way, then? Are there any other criminals on this tree?

Reply from Julie: Eli, darling, we're all Hortons, that's all that matters. Well, except for that rotten Gabi Hernandez, she's the one who murdered my precious Nicky and doesn't deserve one of our beautiful ornaments.

Reply from Eli: Here we go again. :rolleyes:
 
Facebook post from Buddy's Burgers: For years, we've been telling hungry Salemites that we have the best burgers in town, and now we have absolute proof. Roman Brady, the purveyor of the famous (but second-rate) Brady Burgers, dropped in today when he wanted really juicy. tasty take-out burgers. [Photo of Roman buying burgers at Buddy's.] Our burgers are clearly best! Want proof, just drop by the Pub and ask Honest Roman himself!
 
Facebook post from Eli: Whoa, did you guys see that cute brunette headed over to the Kiriakis place? Wonder if she's single?

Reply from Julie: STOP! Eli, darling, she's your cousin. Her dear daddy was my beloved Uncle Mickey.

Reply from Hope: Julie, hold up, it's OK. Remember, Uncle Mickey wasn't her bio dad. Neil Curtis is.

Reply from Eli: For crying out loud, can someone PLEASE give me a spreadsheet of who is a Horton and who isn't, complete with pictures?? I feel like I could end up kissing my own sister and not know it.

Reply from Lucas: Been there, done that. :sick:

Reply from Eli: Seriously, bro? Man, that's just messed up.
 
Reply from Salem U Legal Department: Good news, Mr. Grant! Legally you and Ms Horton are not related as there is no record of your having any father on any legal documents. (Our records show you had a stepfather for some time, but he was not on your birth certificate and never adopted you.) Even if there were a biological or legal relationship, as your grandmother is her 1st cousin, you can legally marry in Salem's great State as no US state specifically forbids marriage between 1st cousins twice removed.

Reply from Julie: :eek: Eli darling, did you actually ask for advice on this!!?

Reply from Eli: Sorry Grandma, I have to keep my options open. After all, I'm related to a lot of people in this town.

Reply from Julie: :sick:

Reply from Eli: Well I suppose I could just give Gabi a call again...

Reply from Julie: I'm sure Sarah's engagement to Rex is the real deal. But just in case, I'll introduce you. Lunch next Thursday?
 
Facebook post from Sami: I just know the mystery patient is my darling smoochy-moochy, it has to be.

Reply from Carrie: Wouldn't it be funny if it is and he woke up having no idea who you are? Or he thought he was still in love with Nicole? :rotfl:

[Lucas Horton likes this post] [Rafe Hernandez likes this post] [Marlena Evans likes this post] [John Black likes this post] [Austin Reed likes this post]

Reply from Sami: You're all a bunch of stoopid doodyheads! He'll know exactly who I am and how much we love each other. Our love is as great as anybody else's around here, like mom and that life-ruining John Black, or even Tom and Alice Horton.

Reply from Julie: Wait one minute here, little missy. You can go on running at the mouth about your "great love" with that despicable EJ DiMera all the live long day, because quite frankly, no one really cares. But don't you DARE compare yourself to my beloved grandparents, Tom and Alice. If you EVER make such an outlandish claim again, I will give you a beatdown, the likes of which Salem has never seen. I may be old, but I have tricks up my sleeve that you, little girl, can't even dream of. You will simply disappear from Salem and be nothing but a name on a family tree when I'm done with you. :angry:

[all of Salem likes this post]
 
Facebook post from Paul: Hey Salem, you're not going to believe this! Sami Brady just told Belle AND my dad that she loves them! :eek::eek::eek:

Reply from Lucas: Hey man, are you high on pain meds? Ain't no way Sami said that.

Reply from Kate: Paul, honey, did you drink Abigail's tea?

Reply from Chad: OK dude, April Fool's Day isn't for another five months. But this would be a good one.

Reply from Kayla: Wait, did she hit her head in the struggle with Susan? If so, please bring her in for an exam immediately.

Reply from Rafe: that's the funniest thing I've heard all day. :rotfl:

Reply from Eric: Yeah, right. And I'm the Pope.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP all of you! I did not say that. You all know I hate my stoopid sister and her life-ruining doodyhead father. If it weren't for them, mom would still be married to my daddy. I hate Carrie, Brady, Rex and Cassie too.

[private message from Sami to John and Belle - sorry, I have a reputation to keep. :love:]
 
Reply from Horton Square shopper: Sami's kind words fell on deaf ears...ours.

Reply from Café employee working for Tripp: Yep, Sami's made peace before. She always forgets in on her next return.

Reply from Maggie's Spa Employee (yeah that's probably still a thing): Good point. Let's hope this time the peace and the good-bye stick.
 
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Just Samantha said:
Reply from Julie: Wait one minute here, little missy. You can go on running at the mouth about your "great love" with that despicable EJ DiMera all the live long day, because quite frankly, no one really cares. But don't you DARE compare yourself to my beloved grandparents, Tom and Alice. If you EVER make such an outlandish claim again, I will give you a beatdown, the likes of which Salem has never seen. I may be old, but I have tricks up my sleeve that you, little girl, can't even dream of. You will simply disappear from Salem and be nothing but a name on a family tree when I'm done with you. :angry:
Click to expand...

Reply from Sami: Shut up you old bat. Nobody wants to hear you babble about Tom and Alice. You and your old grifter husband can't compare to those two and don't know a thing about what true love really means. All you do is butt into everyone else's business and take stoopid, boring cruises to nowheresville with that old grifter Doug. Why don't you do something useful for a change and tell your decrepit, loony-bird daughter, old Granny Hope, to actually do some police work for a change.

Reply from Julie: Watch your tongue young lady or I'll exercise the Horton family nuclear option -- I'll keep your ornament off the Horton Christmas tree!
 
Tweet from Henderson: OMG, now I'm going to have to get rid of a bunch of "I-Love-You" balloons and elaborate bouquets that lover-boy Rex brought into the mansion to win back Sarah. Grrr.

Reply from Harold: Cry me a river. I'd much rather deal with some fragrant flowers than the foul DiMera love couch.

Reply from Henderson: Cry me a river. At least you don't have to live in the same house as grouchy Victor, busybody Maggie, and self-important Sonny. And don't get me started about some of the former residents and house guests we've had over the years.

Reply from Harold: Poor little you. Dealing with the likes of Stefan O., Vivian Alamain, shifty Kate, and wacky Andre would have driven you straight to Bayview.

Reply from Henderson: Oh yeah, what about Deimos and Xander?

Reply from Harold: Xander? OMG, that guy is scary. Hey, let's stop arguing and instead get together and write a tell-all book about life in Salem's mansions. It would be a best-seller.

Reply from Henderson: You're on. Meet me at the Pub. I've been craving a piping hot serving of Wanchai Ferry. Food snob Victor won't let the stuff into the mansion.
 
Facebook post from Sarah: Hey, Rex, you lousy rotten cheater! I told my mother to have an ornament made with your name, since we were going to be married. Just wanted to show you what it looks like.

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Reply from Maggie: Oh, Sarah, honey. While I understand your anger, you shouldn't take it out on one of our beautiful ornaments. It could've been repainted for someone else. Like how we repainted Faith's for Jack or Peter Blake's for Will.

Reply from Will: Wait, I got a hand-me-down ornament?
 
Salemites argue about who's changed.

Tweet from Hope: For the umpteenth time, Ben Weston is a homicidal maniac. He belongs in jail and I won't rest until I put him there.

Reply from Ciara: Give it up, Mom. Professional psychiatrists, including the great Marlena, say he's cured. So there. Besides, didn't you shoot Stefano full of holes and try to burn up Daddy? And don't say those don't count.

Reply from Sami: You've got that right, kid. Old Granny Hope is a violence-prone, trigger-happy nut case, who's not worthy of my Rafe. If you're looking for a person who's really changed, it's my darling EJ!

Reply from John Black: EJ, changed? The only way he's changed is that he now looks like a mummy. That's a fact.

Reply from Sami: Shut up, you life-ruiner. You've never changed. You're still the same old coma-prone idiot that you always were. And your stoopid son, Brady, is even worse: a loser in life and a bigger loser in love. Brady is the "biggest loser" who's not even close to being "truly radiant."

Reply from Julie: Sami dear, be nice. If you want an example of somebody who never changed, It's that homicidal maniac, Gabi Hernandez, who cruelly murdered my poor darling Nicky.

Reply from Abigail: Oh, Gabi's changed all right. She's worse than ever. She belongs in Bayview, not me!

Reply from Eric: Hey, what about me? I've changed. I may be the same old sourpuss, but at least I don't drink anymore.

Reply from Lucas: OMG, one thing is sure. Life in Salem never changes. :sick::sick::sick: I'm glad I got out of town.
 
Facebook posting by Salem University Press: Salemites, a new series of titles has become available just in time for Christmas.

My Name is Horton by Lucas Horton. In this fascinating read, a local businessman describes his decades-long appalling mistreatment at the hands of his selfish, devious mother, Kate Roberts Brady, which led him to change his last name from Roberts to Horton.

Escape from Bayview by Abigail Deveraux DiMera. You won't want to miss this compelling story of a brave young woman's battle to overcome schizophrenia and the misguided plots of her own family so that she could be reunited with her darling baby.

I Killed the Noodle by Chloe Lane Black. You won't want to miss this page-turner of how a local diva turned the tables on the evil Mexican drug lord who kidnapped her so she could be his own private songbird.

My Fight to Be Me by Will Horton. This is the gripping story about a young man's struggle to overcome his amnesia and the idiotic actions of his faux mother and screechy real mother so that he could be with the man of his dreams.

Inside the Kiriakis Mansion by Xander Cook. Dirty dealings of all sorts are revealed in this tell-all title by Kiriakis family black sheep, Xander Cook, which concludes with the author's hair-raising escape from a fiery Nashville warehouse owned by the deranged Kristen DiMera.
 
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Facebook post from the Horton Cabin raccoons: Do you think it's rude to start on the cake and refreshments before DrBakerFan gets here for his birthday party??

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Reply from the Smith Island Preserve Bear: Nahhhhh

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Facebook post from Sami: Hey, Ruffles McDoodyhead, or whoever is in charge of that stoopid Horton ornament thing. Here are the 3 best ornaments you need to showcase and the exact placement you need to use for them. MY Lucas, me and MY Rafe. You can throw away the rest, especially the one for Old Granny Hope.

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Reply from Marlena: Sami dear, try to be pleasant. After all, it's the holiday season. All the beautiful Horton tree ornaments deserve a place on the tree.

Reply from Sami: Beautiful? Give me a break. Anyway, that stoopid tree also needs an EJ ornament and one for my new son, Ben. That one is sure to get old Granny Hope's shorts in a knot.

Reply from JJ: Hey Sami, you want an EJ Mummy on our Horton tree -- how about this one?
GOOWC26058-PROD.jpg


Reply from Sami: Shut up you Deveraux brat. You're just as stoopid as your ranting, raving mother and trampy, lunatic sister.

Reply from Will: (sigh) Typical Mom -- there's no room for the holiday spirit. At least I'm too old to be dumped at the Pub like Johnny, Allie, and Sydney.
 
Facebook post from Leo Stark Kiriakis: Hey, since my husband, yes, you read that right, my husband, Sonny Kiriakis, has one of those fine status symbol ornaments, I want one too. Henderson, take this over to the Horton house and hang it on the tree.

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Reply from Henderson: With all due respect, go hang yourself.
 
Facebook post from Sami: Hi, everyone (except life-ruiner John Black, old Granny Hope, Kate the Hideous Hag, and brainless Susan Banks). Merry Christmas from Italy where we are having so much more fun than the doodyheads who went to the stoopid Horton ornament-hanging party. My smoochy-moochy Mummy EJ, Allie, Johnny, and Sydney all send their holiday greetings. My Lucas would be sending greetings too, but his visit didn't last very long. For some reason, he was put off by the presence of a mummy-like presence in my apartment, and complained like he felt as if he was living inside a Lon Chaney or Vincent Price movie. P.S., Johnny wants Rafe to send him a new F.B.I. jacket, Allie says she misses being dropped off at the Pub, and Sydney insists that someday she'll get revenge on trampy Nicole Walker (we know she's still alive) and awful Anna for kidnapping her when she was a baby.

Ta, ta,
Sami
 
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