Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 5

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Henderson: Thank God they didn't ask me to witness that Xander-Sarah wedding farce. I've already done my bit for those two by picking up his wet towels and listening to her run her big mouth.

Sami: I hope that this toilet paper shortage at the stores ends soon. If not, I may have to start wrapping my smoochy-moochy, EJ, in pages from the daily newspaper.

Seth Burns: The hospital better start tightening up maternity ward and paternity test security. If this town ever gets smarter lawyers than Justin Kiriakis, we're eventually going to get whacked with huge lawsuits.

Salem Cemetery worker: When that awful Kristen DiMera showed up here yesterday, I was tempted to push her into an open grave.
 
Brady: I'll take the rap for stabbing Grandfather. Besides, Kristen is perfectly lucid and calm, and completely capable of taking care of our daughter, right? She probably did a great job caring for EJ when he was a baby. What could possibly go wrong??

John: My spidey senses are tingling. One of my kids has just done something incredibly stupid. Hmmm, which one? Can't be Belle or Paul, so it has to be Brady, and that's a fact.
 
Orpheus: Fie on that Steve Johnson. I just hate it when people don't play by my rules.

Justin: Woe is me. Orpheus seemed as unimpressed by my rant when I was pointing a gun at his face as juries are when I make my trial summations.

Victor: I'll know when Maggie has forgiven me for the baby-switch when she starts making my lemon bars again.

Xander: Why am I so taken with Sarah? Recent events have shown that she isn't a very nice person.

Jenny: I hope my friends know the name of some good babysitters. I have a feeling that caring for Abigail's children is going to get really old really fast.

Eric: Mom is probably going to ask if I'm inviting Sami to the wedding, but I have a feeling that this would be a very bad idea.
 
Dr. Morris: Good grief, now I'm getting inquiries about releasing our star patient, Claire Brady. I doubt that one is ready for prime time, but based on what I'm hearing, there are some people in Salem who belong in Bayview more than she does, especially revenge-crazed Dr. Sarah Horton, Kristen-obsessed Brady Black, and loony loudmouth Gabi Hernandez.
 
Father Louis (on vacation): Ahhhhh, this tropical air is truly a gift from our Lord, so relaxing. I hope everything is OK back in Salem. I mean, what could go wrong during my much-needed vacation??
 
Bishop Wright: St. Luke's was blown up during an unauthorized civil wedding? I know that Satan is loose in Salem, but this is ridiculous.

Julie: I'm giving up doing weddings in Salem. They're just too dangerous.

John: Why didn't my finely-tuned detective's nose sniff out the presence of that bomb. Are all my comas finally catching up with me?

Ghost Stefano: OMG, somebody bombed the wedding of Bo Brady's daughter and the Weston kid. I devoted much of my life to revenge plots, but this is just sick.

Sami: That bomb was wasted on the Ben-Ciara wedding. It should have been used to stop the wedding of the stoopid Bad Twin and that wretched busybody and Sydnapper Nicole Walker. The tramp would have richly deserved it for daring to interfere with my relationship with my daughter. That's an unforgivable outrage!!!
 
Shane: I haven't heard from my daughter Eve in a while. Wonder what she's been up to? Probably just involved with mentoring music students and working with the scholarship program we funded in Paige's name. I know it gives her such pleasure to do things in memory of her daughter.
 
Baby Boy Horton: Is that blonde screechy woman my mother? Lord, I hope not.

Victor: If Brady wants to ruin his life over Kristen, I'm too old to stop him.

Xander: It looks like Brady is going to prison to save that hag, Kristen. I wonder if there's any woman in Philip's past that he'd go to jail to save.

Eric: Why am I leaving my true love, Nicole, to go to Africa? Sometimes the things I do even baffle myself.

Lucas: I hate to admit it, but Mom was right. I was a fool ever to get involved with Sami. It's been all downhill since our green wedding.

Judge Rose Duncan: OMG, may I never see Nicole Walker and Sami Brady in my courtroom again.
 
Evan: I really like it here in Bayview. I hope Dad doesn't get any funny ideas about getting me discharged.

Clyde: Why am I working for Orpheus when I should be in Poplar Bluff rebuilding my crime empire?

Rolf: Sometimes I wonder about my devotion to Stefano. I always loved the Phoenix, but did he ever love me back?

John: Why are people in Salem suddenly becoming so annoying?

Jan Spears: Why am I wasting my time messing with Belle? That second-rate lawyer should be beneath my notice.

Victor: I'd forgotten what an annoying, scheming little pest Philip can be.

Eli: It's time to face facts. I love Lani, but she is a really, really bad cop.
 
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