Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 5

Philip: Woe is me. I guess I drew the wrong conclusion after I regrew my leg. After that, I thought I could get out of any bad situation, but it seems that I was wrong.

Charlie: Claire once told me that Bayview wasn't half bad. Maybe I could get sent there instead of prison. In fact, just being Ava's son might do the trick.

Ivan: Couldn't Madame have concocted a better way to get revenge against that Lani than snatching her twins? Doesn't she know how much work baby care entails?

Gwen: I'll quickly get another job in Salem, won't I?

Xander: I think that I've nailed Philip at last. I just hope that Victor isn't one of those my-child-can-do-no-wrong parents.

Jake: Hey, if the likes of Brady Black, Big Boy Sonny Kiriakis, screechy Sami Brady, pervy Stefan Zero, and clueless Chad could be CEOs, why not me?

Claire: Ciara always has better luck than I do. Everybody likes her ex-strangler boyfriend, Ben, who killed several people, but everyone hates my Charlie because he allegedly raped that airhead Allie once.
 
Susan: When are they going to have one of those prison ice-cream festivals that Kristen talked about?

Kristen: When Brady finds out how cleverly I impersonated Susan, he'll be sooo impressed.

Victor: That idiot Gabi is looking for a new business partner? I hope that Philip has the good sense to steer clear of her.

Jake: This big businessman thing isn't so tough. The way that things are working out, I get to spend more time in bed with Kate than sitting at my desk.

Charlie: Nobody can recover an erased file, can they?

Women's prison inmate: That Kristen DiMera has gotten awfully weird awfully fast. This place must be getting to her.

Ivan: I've let down my madame. :cry::cry::cry: She's actually in prison. :cry::cry::cry: Oh, the horror, the horror.:cry::cry::cry:
 
Daddy Dale: Poor Charlie. He'll never get justice in Salem. I've heard that the cops there couldn't catch a cold and all the attorneys graduated dead last in their law school class.

Rafe: Should I bust Sami? Nah, it's too obvious. Things in this town are never as they seem.

Allie: OMG, could Mom have shot Charlie? After all, she once shot EJ.

Marlena: Charlie's dead? I'd better call Belle. I'm sure that Sami has done something foolish and will need a lawyer.

Carrie: If Sami shot that Charlie, I hope Mom calls Belle to defend her. She is the absolute pits as a client.

Justin: Please God, if Sami shot Charlie, don't let anyone ask me to be her lawyer. I'd rather represent some loony like Vivian than her.

Xander: Should I offer a reward for the arrest of poor Charlie's murderer? After all, he was a pretty good intern .... wait, I'd better check with Sarah on this. She always knows best.
 
Rafe is letting his mind wander.

I've got to take away Shawn's gun before he hurts himself or somebody else.

I'd better have a word with Gabi. She acting far weirder than usual.

Despite how it looks, Sami couldn't have shot Charlie. The first person arrested in a Salem murder mystery is never guilty.

I'd better have a word with the Grants. I know cops in this town always neglect their official duties in favor of personal business, but these two are really pushing it.

If Ciara still retains some of her traits from childhood, by the time this all ends, she'll have talked her kidnapper into giving her his credit card for a shopping spree at the Baron's jewelry counter.
 
EJ: People in Salem don't seem all that thrilled to see me again. How could that be?

Kate: Pretending to be blind is getting old, really fast. I need to come up with a dramatic way to suddenly regain my sight.

Xander: Why did I let Gwen talk me out of calling the cops after Snyder keeled over? Now, I'm probably just making trouble for myself.

Eric: I wonder if Nicole is upset by me repeatedly postponing my return to Salem? Nah, she knows that I'm doing the Lord's work.

Lucas: it's really great to be at the center of Salem action again. It's just too bad that it took the return of creepy EJ to make it happen.

Gabi: I need to find more pliable DiMeras fast. Maybe, starting a website or chat room for long-lost DiMeras would do the trick.

Trippy: I'm concerned that the bake shop with be a flop. To tell truth, those donuts and brownies were nothing to write home about.

Sami: I'm really annoyed by Lucas. Why does he have to be so much more attractive than my post-mummy smoochy-moochy?
 
Sarah: I hope my Xander has been behaving himself. He tends to get into all sorts of trouble when I'm not around to look after him.

Victor: OMG, Philip is now interested in that screechy, no-talent diva, Chloe. Maybe, It's time to bring back my nephew Xander as CEO. He's wasting his time at that joke of a company, Basic Black.

Gabi: I'm going to destroy DiMera Enterprises. I'm going to destroy DiMera Enterprises ....

Eli: Sometimes, I think that I've lost it. Why am I wasting my time with the nothing Snyder case when Kristen is running free?

Sami: If certain people don't stop trashing former mental patients that Mom has declared cured, they are going to be in a world of hurt.

Eric: It's nice to be back, but I can hear those poor villagers calling out to me. I wonder if Nicole would mind if I left for another year.
 
Duke the Bear: Whoa, why is everyone so mean to me? Tossed in a shredder? Strangled? Passed from house to house? Sure, I'm named after an evil guy, but I'm stuffed full of love!

The Singed Letter: I'm the most popular paper in Salem! Way more popular than The Spectator with its questionable publisher and nepotistic editorials, or even that rag, The Intruder, which has become the print edition of a clickbait blog. I have more friends in Salem than Claire has relatives!

The Tarp Covering the Square: Man, it's good to be seen, even if I am just in the background. I think we all know that this set could use a rest! If only I could stretch and cover the plaque of that nice doctor so nobody tries to destroy it again.
 
Abe: If only I'd stayed in City Hall and done some work for a change, I never would have been shot.

Paulina: Who is this Evans woman to tell me what dark secrets that i have to reveal?

John: Gosh, Doc sure does have a lot of stuff in her desk.

Ben: I hope Ciara doesn't get pregnant for a while. That way, our non-stop bedroom activities can continue.

Ava: Why in the world would I want to run Gabi's dumb fashion company.

Steve: I wonder how hard it will be to find Kristen.

Jake: Why did I bring I gun to my meeting with Carmine? I don't even know how to use one.

Doug: Why doesn't Julie come and get me out of this lunatic asylum?
 
Zombie Nick: I wonder what Julie will think of my new beard.

Zombie Deimos: Who cares about Nicole. What I'd really like to do is play the mansion piano again.

Zombie Charlie: I hear that Allie has a bakery now. i think I'll visit her there and scare away the customers.

Jake; OMG, now I'm in jail. Why did I ever give up auto repair?

Mar-Devil: I hate my costume. It makes me look like I'm going to a low-budget Halloween party.

Duke the Bear: You know, poor Nicole really does lead a miserable life.

Abe: i wonder if getting shot will get me sympathy votes in the next election.

EJ: Should I turn Kristen in to the cops? She's so much more annoying than I'd remembered.
 
Rafe: I haven't said anything yet, but the evidence against Brady is looking more and more like a set up.

Lucas: Should I have rescued Sami? Sometimes I wonder.

Tater Tot: I wish Dad would stop calling me Tater Tot. I'm not a little kid anymore.

Sami: I know he's a worthless cheat, but I still find EJ incredibly attractive.

Nicole: OMG, now I've been caught in bed with EJ by Sami of all people. When will I ever get a break?

Victor: I'm looking forward to seeing the looks on the faces of those two fools, Abigail and Jake, when I eat DiMera for breakfast and then tell them they're out on the street.

Ben: I wish Marlena would get lost. With her around, I'm missing my luv action with Ciara.

Allie: When that Chanel gets back, I'm really going to rip into her. Running a bakery all by yourself is pure drudgery.
 
Rafe: Somebody cut the head off Duke the Bear? This really is a sick town.

EJ: I just know it was that sneaky dimwit Lucas who kidnapped Samanther, but nobody will believe me because I'm EJ.:sad:

Gwen: I don't like the way Sarah's name keeps cropping up in conversation. I wish that people would just forget that she ever existed.

Philip: What's wrong with me? Now I'm in hiding because of former Goth-girl Chloe.

Gabi: My plots just have to succeed. If they don't, I'll have to start selling my fashion creations at a kiosk in the Town Square or off the back of a truck.

Kate: One of my sons is still infatuated with that awful Sami and the other is madly in love with that foolish diva. Where did I go wrong?

Allie: If Chanel doesn't come back to the bakery soon, I'm going to sell the business.

Johnny: Now that I'm possessed, do I have X-ray vision like Superman?
 
Abigail: You'd think that the DiMeras would do a better job at furnishing homes on their secret island.

Sarah: I hate how my hair has gotten so long. It's the worst thing about being in this place. When I finally get out, I'm going to ask my Xander to take revenge on Kristen for this outrage.

Lucas: Ding, dong, EJ's in jail! Which old jail, the Salem jail!! Ding, dong, EJ's gone at last!!!

Rafe: If I'd known that I'd end up in the Salem jail, I'd have asked Abe that the city keep the place cleaner and more comfortable.

Rotten Ray: Why did I get involved with that Johnny DiMera? That kid is a horrible brat.

Belle: It was nice of EJ to say that I'm a "great attorney," but I have to admit that I'm a terrible trial lawyer.

Ava: That nosy Nicole is actually one smart cookie. I'm going to have to be more careful.

Chloe: Don't I have enough difficulties in life? Who needs problem parents?
 
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