Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 5

Rafe: Why is my case even going to trial; why is it happening so fast; why am I not free on bail?

Clyde: Of all the people I could have drawn as a cellmate, I get EJ. Is God is punishing me for my many sins?

Sarah: Why do people look at me funny when I tell them my name? I know that I'm Renee DuMonde.

Kristen: Why am I still holding all these people prisoner on my island? It all seems so pointless now.

Raccoons: No Salemites have disturbed us for quite some time, How long can our luck hold?

Gwen: Even if Sarah returns, I've still got a chance to keep Xander. Maybe, she's lost her mind. I hope, I hope.

Sami: I wonder how Johnny is doing in Salem. I'm sure everyone loves him as much as I do.

Victor: People in this town have lost their minds. Imagine that trampy Gabi Hernandez actually thinking that I'd make her CEO of Titan. She'd be worse than Ian McAllister.

Craig: I hope everyone in town loves Leo as much as I dol. He's such a great guy.
 
Xander: Bloody hell. Sarah is even more messed up than I thought. She didn't even comment on my new iPhone 13 Pro smart phonel.

Jake: That Johnny is messed up, and I'm going to find out what's the deal with him. Gabi will rue the day she sold me out.

Li Shin: These DiMera meetings give me a major headache. I'm going to ask father to send somebody else next time.

Pilot Ned: What was I thinking demanding $1 million from Gwen. She hasn't got the price of today's Spectator.

Clyde: Life stinks. Of all the cons in this place, I get stuck with EJ as a cellmate. He's probably going to talk endlessly about how he's innocent and how his screechy wife cheated on him. I'd rather listen to Orpheus's ravings.

Chad: OMG, I thought that when I rescued Abigail all my troubles were over. Was I ever wrong.

Jenny: It's so good to be back in Salem. I haven't been able to really confront anyone in months.
 
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Clyde: Maybe I should open my own bakery. Based on that awful cake at the party, that Sweet Bits place seems pretty bad!

Sonny: Why is Grandpa Vic offering me the CEO job? Everyone knows that he only hires CEOs just so he can fire them later.

Paulina: That Sami Brady must be one terrible mother. I've never seen two more mixed-up young people than Johnny and Allie.

Craig: Why did I take Kayla's old job? Everyone at the hospital really hates me because I took her place. Hopefully, Leo can help me get through this.

Ava: Why did I waste my time trying to get revenge on Rafe and Nicole? I should have kept my eyes on the prize and thought of good ways to win back my Patch.

Sarah: I hope that my Mommy has gotten me everything I need to start kindergarten in the fall.

Jan: Thank goodness for Belle's stupidity. If she had any sense, my mad plan to win back Shawn wouldn't have a chance.

Smith Island Raccoons: It's been ages since sex-crazed Salemites have invaded our cozy cabin. Let's hope that our luck holds in 2022.
 
Leo: Maybe, I shouldn't have threatened Brady and Sonny. I hear that Old Man Kiriakis has some pretty nasty thugs at his disposal.

Gwen: I just love hinting to stoopid Jenny and perfect Abigail that I killed their beloved Laura. It really yanks their chain.

Mr. Burns: Oh great, Craig just quit. How can I ask Kayla to come back without making a fool of myself?

Johnny: I'll have to speak to Dad about making the family mausoleum a more comfortable place to be held prisoner.

Horton Cabin Raccoons: We have to get rid of that awful Allie. Let's all attack on the count of three.

TR Coates: I have a sinking feeling that I've stayed too long in Salem. Could the roof be about to fall in?

Ava: Another day, another serious criminal charge beaten. Someday,, I'll have to write a book about my adventures.

Belle: OMG, Shawn has actually taken in Jan. Was he always this dumb or has living in Salem addled his mind?

Sarah: Why do I have a feeling that my childhood is about to slip away?
 
Maggie: Oh dear, I hear that this Alexander comes straight into the living room from the pool. I hope that he doesn't leave water stains on the furniture.

Xander: I hear that this punk Alexander likes to strut around shirtless. I hate it when poseurs without the right stuff try to steal my act.

Chloe: Kristen is sooo annoying. If I wasn't such a nice person, I give her a dose of what I once gave the Noodle.

Roman: Ma wouldn't tolerate that creep Orpheus in the Pub for a Salem second. If he comes in again, he's going to end up in the dumpster.

Ava: I wish that stoopid cop hadn't shot the homicidal mugger. Cousin Angelo would have enjoyed sending him to a slow death.

Leo: Who is this Fake Rafe people keep telling me about. Are they suggesting that I get out of town while I still can?

Ciara: I hate to admit it but being stuck on a small yacht in the middle of the ocean with Ben and a fussy baby is getting really boring.

Rafe: Woe is me. It was tough enough trying to solve the Abigail murder and deal with semi-hysterical Chad without have the governor's list of all-star criminals show up in town.
 
Gwen: So Leo is selling me out. I'm not surprised. That weasel would do anything to save his own skin.

Leo: I hate to sell out Gwendolyn, but that Melinda is really mean and saving number one comes first.

Sloan: I may not be the most ethical attorney, but this Melinda makes me look like a regular Atticus Finch.

Sonny: Alex had better learn to take his bimbo of the day upstairs. Uncle Vic will go ballistic if his fine furniture gets tainted.

Jada: This Eric is smoking hot, but why hasn't he been scooped up by another woman before this?

Chad: Stephanie Johnson is so attractive that I can already feel my rage over Abigail's murder fading away.

Orpheus: What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of some new capers instead of kidnapping Marlena and Kayla yet again?

Abe: Why would I want to be governor? Right now, I have a great job that requires almost no work.

Roman: People may think I'm mean, but Kate and her wretched son deserve everything they get.
 
Alex: When I say Stepanie's name, why do people snicker and mention somebody named Jeremy Horton.

Xander: Now that I'm Maggie's son-in-law, will she get Victor to give me a big job at Titan.

Xander: Hey, I look really good in my formal kilt attire. I think that I should wear it more often.

Johnny: Why are some people so down on Ava? You'd think that those Mafia princess stories are really true.

Rolf: Kristen is simply unbearable. Would anyone mind if I turned her into a lamppost?

Rafe: Am I imagining things or does Nicole really still have a thing for Eric Brady?

Nicole: The next time Rafe and I sleep together I'm going to have to try extra hard not to blurt out Eric's name.

Roman: I may have forgiven Kate, but Lucas is beyond the pale. He can rot in jail where he belongs.

Anna: Tony should thank God that he found me. Without proper supervision, DiMera men all turn into blithering idiots.

Wei Shin: I'm sure that by now my fine son, Li, has come to his senses and dropped that horrid Hernandez woman.
 
Harold: I wonder if Mr. Roman is hiring at the pub? Anything's got to be better than working for this insane family. I'd even consider working for those two tarts at Sweet Bits over putting in one more day at the DiMansion.

Henderson: If I see Master Alex wandering around in his undies again, I'm going to clock him with a candlestick in the library.

Rachel: I hate Chloe! Wonder how I can ruin her life? I should call Aunt Sami for some tips and tricks.

Eric: Why do I only want Nicole when someone else has her?

Marlena: How do I tell John I'm tired of strawberries and whipped cream?? I'd really rather have some crisp biscotti and a cup of coffee.
 
Xander: This kidnapping thing might not be the best idea. If Sarah finds out, I'll blow my chance to get an ornament on the Horton Christmas tree.

EJ: Actually, being CEO of DiMera is a pretty tedious job.

Kristen: The things that I do for Brady and Rachel. Living with John and Marlena is unbearable. If I hear him say "that's a fact" one more time I'm going to scream.

Victor: It's a shame that I enjoy dumping on Xander so much. He was actually the best CEO Titan ever had.

Charlie Dale: Why can't the writers bring me back to life for real like Stefan O.? It's no fun being the Vitali family ghoul.

Cousin Angelo Vitali: I wonder how Ava is doing. She never calls me anymore.

Dr. Rolf: Agreeing to let Li move me to Hong Kong was a big mistake. You can't even get decent schnitzel and strudel in this city.

Orpheus: Why do I even try? My seemingly brilliant plots against John, Steve, and their loved ones always fail.
 
Henry: I may still be a baby but even I know this Alex dude is skeevy and should just go away. Cousin Stephanie is stoopid for buying what he's selling. Bet I could get Granny Ava to call the family and have him iced. Or Grammy Sami could screech him to death.
 
Benchie: I haven't been seen much lately, guess I've been benched, literally.

Nicole's pumpkin pie: At least in the garbage pail, I can't hear the garbage dialogue.

The Brady Pub and The Salem In: Please, no more guests, we can't take it anymore, go somewhere else! IS there somewhere else?

Sweet Bits: Where are my mothers? Who is running the show?

The rooftop where Sloan's mother fell to her death: Chanel DID NOT DO THIS!!!!!
 
Eric: I just saw Nicole with EJ!:cry::cry::cry:

Rafe: First Sami and then Nicole. Next time, I’ll let Mami arrange a marriage for me.

Trippy: So what if my Mom planted a bomb. She must have had a good reason.

Belle: Eric hired that tramp, Sloan, to represent him? That’s it. I’m convinced. He belongs in Bayview.

Melinda: I’ve just got to nail Ava for the church bombing. It will make my career. And if she might escape, chain her to a wall.

Father Louis: We've got to stop letting members of the dysfunctional in-crowd use the church. It’s simply too dangerous.

Ghost Shawn: Will they finally charge that monster, Ava, with murdering me, Salem’s most popular saloonkeeper?

EJ: If Abe’s association with Paulina ruins him, maybe Nicole can help me get elected mayor again.
 
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