Facebook posts and Tweets from Salemites, Part 20

Status
Not open for further replies.
Facebook post from Jeannie T to Shane: Daddy, I need to get out of Victor's house where everybody hates me. Can you help me get a place big enough for me and your sweet grandson, baby Tater Tot?

Reply from Shane: Sure, honey. Your mother and I will be glad to get you a nice two bedroom apartment. Or, we'd even get you a nice little townhouse, so Tate could have a yard to play in when he gets bigger.

Reply from Jeannie: A two bedroom apartment?? A little townhouse?? I was thinking of something bigger, more grand. Say..... like.... Donovan Manor??

Reply from Shane: Bloody hell! You want me to buy Donovan Manor back from Stefano DiMera?? Have you lost your mind?

Reply from Jeannie: No, of course not. I want to you to just take it from him. It was ours first.

Reply from Ciara: I can make that happen..... for a price......

Reply from Jeannie: Never mind, Daddy. But when you get a chance, send a nice, big, fat check, payable to Ciara Alice Brady.

Reply from Ciara: Nice try. Make that cash.... in unmarked bills.
 
Facebook post from Giselle van Hopper, Chairperson of the Salem Mother of the Year Committee: Because of the highly negative reaction to all the nominees for Salem mother of the year, we regret to announce that no prize will be awarded for 2015. The nominees were:

Jeannie Theresa Donovan -- for allegedly single handedly saving her baby from a kidnapper and a negligent nanny;
Jennifer Deveraux -- for bravely fibbing to save her son's relationship with his true love;
Eve Larson -- for "heroically" committing an unspeakably vile act five times to save her daughter from an alleged lowlife;
Maggie Kiriakis -- for being the "egg-mommy" of wonder-surgeon Dr. Daniel Jonas, an alleged gift to all humanity;
Gabi Hernandez -- for making sure her baby was very well cared for before murdering Nicholas Fallon;
Adrienne Kiriakis -- for supporting her son against his allegedly bratty husband and gently breaking the news that she was divorcing his cheating father;
Kate Roberts -- for extracting her son from an allegedly unsuitable professional position and bravely taking it herself;
Marlena Evans -- for courageously standing by her obsessive, gloomy, thoroughly-exasperating son.
Hope Brady -- for ably parenting her child alone and bravely protecting Salem from criminals.

Reply from Sami: I agree that all these nominees stink, especially Kate, but nobody nominated me, Salem's BEST MOTHER??!! I HATE Salem.
 
Second Facebook post by Giselle van Hopper: Because of the apparent sterling credentials of the mother-of-the-year nominees, we have been deluged with queries asking why none of them were suitable. Accordingly we are summarizing the negative comments about each person.

Jeannie Theresa Donovan: Allegedly a lazy conniver who's using her child as a tool to further her nefarious plots;
Jennifer Deveraux: Allegedly covered up unspeakable acts committed by her son with his "true love's" mother;
Eve Larson: Allegedly slept with her daughter's boy friend five times and engaged in several inane plots;
Maggie Kiriakis: Allegedly is an intrusive busybody whose home-baked cookies are vastly overrated;
Gabi Hernandez: Allegedly a complete scatterbrain who shot Nicholas Fallon on an impulse;
Adrienne Kiriakis: Allegedly cheated on her husband right under his nose in their residence;
Kate Roberts: Allegedly the mistress of a suspected drug dealer, and the cause of her son being fired;
Hope Brady: Alleged Keystone Kop whose daughter reportedly blackmails people into visits to the Baron's jewelry counter;
Marlena Evans: Described as being totally ineffective in handling her son, who's allegedly going from bad to worse.

Reply from Sami: Yes, as I said before, these nominees stink. As for myself, I bravely defended my changed smoochy-moochy against his many critics, provided my children (number unknown) with the best of care by always leaving them with their kindly granny, and am saving the world from bad breath by promoting Truly Radiant mouthwash. Clearly, I'm Salem's mother of the year for 2015.

Reply from Giselle van Hopper and all of Salem: :rotfl::rotfl:

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP! I HATE you!
 
Facebook post from Abigail Deveraux: Oh, no! I might be pregnant by the evil Chad! What am I gonna do? I know. I'll tunnel out of here with a spoon, escape through the sewers and live as a quiet but lonely shepherdess named Maria. That'll work.

Reply from Will Horton: That's even worse than your escape to Europe plan!
 
Facebook post from Joey Johnson: Hello???!! Does anyone even remember me or care that I'm trapped upstairs at the pub??

Reply from Kayla: Who are you?

Reply from Caroline: You live at the pub? Where?

Reply from Ciara: I don't seem to have your name in any of my files or records in my backpack.

Reply from Don Craig: At least you're mentioned at Christmas. Whatever you do kid, never leave the pub to mail a letter. They'll never mention you again.
 
Reply from Sami: Joey? Are you one of my children?? Did I leave you behind when I went to Hollywood to save the world from bad breath? If so, contact me immediately.

Reply from Will: OMG Mom, I'd correct you about how many children you have, but I'm too busy trying to save my marriage from the home-wrecking, husband-stealing son of John Black, Paul Narita!! I HATE him!

Reply from Sami: Why did you have to mention that doody-head John Black?? I HATE him! He ruined my life!
 
Tweet from Nanny Megan: OMG, today, I met Salem's worst mother. She wanted to use me in a plot to get her hooks into her baby's father. I'm so depressed that I'm going to eat a bag of pork rinds.

Reply from Sami: How awful. It's a shame how some losers can't come close to measuring up to me, Salem's best mother. P.S. after eating those pork rinds, use a Truly Radiant spin toothbrush.

Reply from Jeannie T.: Loser??? Worst mother??? SHUT UP! I HATE you both! I'll win Brady's love someday! And I am so a good mother to darling little Tater Tot!

Reply from all of Salem: :eek::eek:

Reply from Sami to Jeannie T.: Careful twerp. In any I-HATE-you showdown, I'd chew you up and spit you out, and then use Truly Radiant mouthwash to get your foul taste out of my mouth.
 
Facebook post from Salem University Press: Once again, Salem University Press proudly announces a list of titles authored by citizens of our city. All are available at the Salem Barnes & Noble or at the University Press website.

My Shower with EJ by Abigail Deveraux. You'll alternately be thrilled and touched by this tale of a young woman's first encounter with true passion.

Mulching Your Way to Fulfillment by Alexandros "Xander" Cook. An inspirational tale of how a troubled young man gave up the cut-throat world of business and white-collar crime and found fulfillment among the daisies and daffodils.

Your Guide to Tabletop Surgery by Dr. Daniel Jonas. Anyone who's ever worried about what they'd do if a loved one needed emergency surgery miles from the nearest hospital during a raging blizzard should fret no more. This informative guide by a brilliant surgeon explains how you too can perform complex operations with household utensils, paper clips, and duct tape.

Cougar! by Eve Larson. This book is a must-have for any woman who has longed to be a real-life Mrs. Robinson by having a passionate encounter with her daughter's handsome boyfriend. The author explains how to deal with a daughter's post-affair resentments, handling the guy's busybody mother, and ditching the former love object when he becomes excess baggage.
 
Facebook post from Jennifer to Abby: Honey, not that I'm not thrilled to pieces that you're pregnant, but I just have to ask: didn't you, uhh, well, have any protection with you that night?

Reply from Abby: Mom! Of course I did! I got it from Roman when I started working.

Reply from Jennifer: Roman?? OMG, what?? Why did Roman give you something like that???

Reply from Abby: Because he was worried about me walking around town, going to and from work, so he gave me a canister of pepper spray.

Reply from Jennifer: Your protection was pepper spray?

Reply from Abby: Yes, mom! I take my personal safety very seriously.

Rely from Jennifer: Oh dear Lord...... At least when your father and I were escaping a sinking cruise ship, I had the presence of mind to grab my diaphragm case in the off chance we'd make love for the first time in a secluded cave.

Reply from Abby: Mom, Ben and I weren't on a cruise, we were at home in our apartment.

Reply from Jennifer: Sigh.......
 
Facebook post from Will: Waaaaaahhhhhhhh, my husband left me and I have no idea why. I was a perfect husband to Sonny and he packed his bags and left me high and dry.

Reply from Sami: What???? Sonny left you??? This is somehow John Black's fault!

Reply from Will: That's right, mom. It's all John Black's fault! If he hadn't had sex with Paul's mom on the Titan Conference Room table and gotten her pregnant, then Paul would've never come to Salem, abducted me, drugged me and forced me into cheating on Sonny. I HATE him!

Reply from Sami: Me, too!!!

Reply from Sonny: Best. Decision. Ever. Goodbye, Salem!
 
Facebook post from Sonny: Let it goooo, let it gooo, can't deal with this anymore! Let it gooo, let it gooo! Turn away and slam the door! I know I left the past behind, but I'm too relieved to grieve!

Roman Brady likes this

Reply from Sami Brady: Daddy! How could you!

Roman Brady: Because this is exactly what I did after your mother cheated on me, and It. Was. Worth. It!
 
Just Samantha said:
Facebook post from Will: Waaaaaahhhhhhhh, my husband left me and I have no idea why. I was a perfect husband to Sonny and he packed his bags and left me high and dry.

Reply from Sami: What???? Sonny left you??? This is somehow John Black's fault!

Reply from Will: That's right, mom. It's all John Black's fault! If he hadn't had sex with Paul's mom on the Titan Conference Room table and gotten her pregnant, then Paul would've never come to Salem, abducted me, drugged me and forced me into cheating on Sonny. I HATE him!

Reply from Sami: Me, too!!!

Reply from Sonny: Best. Decision. Ever. Goodbye, Salem!
Click to expand...

Reply from Johnny Dimera: Can I come with you?
 
Tweet from Will: Waaahh! Nobody in Salem feels sorry for me because Sonny left! They say it's my fault! How can that be?? I was a perfect husband to him! Waaahh!

Reply from Sami: It's that awful John Black. He's poisoning everyone's mind against you with his vile lies. I HATE that home wrecker!

Reply from Will: You're so right Mom! John Black wants to ruin my life just like he ruined your's on that conference-table top. I HATE him too!

Second reply from Will: Mom, please contact Sonny and tell him to hurry home to me. I miss him so much already! Waaahh!

Reply from Victor: You two are a pair of fools. Like mother, like son. My nephew is too smart to reconnect with a whiny, lying cheat with a loony mother. You're both crazier than my nephew, Alexandros.

Reply from Sami: I HATE you!
 
Tweet from Will: Waaah! Victor Kiriakis ruined my marriage by offering Sonny a job in Paris. Otherwise, my husband would still be in my loving arms. I HATE Victor!!

Reply from Sami: You're so right, Will. Grouchy old Victor is the meanest man in Salem! I HATE him and John Black too!

Reply from Sonny: OMG, I'm so glad that I left. I can't wait to start a new life in Paris.

Reply from Will: Sonny, you don't mean that! It's everybody else's fault that I messed up. I've heard that Parisians are rude, the traffic is awful, and there are no Bradyburgers. Please come back soon! Waaah!
 
Tweet from Will: I've just figured out that Dr. Daniel Jonas is to blame for Sonny leaving me! :cry: If that quack had properly fixed Paul's arm, the husband stealer would have left Salem to go pitch for the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls, or whatever! I HATE him!

Reply from Nicole: How dare you talk that way about my Daniel. Face facts, your husband left you because of your own stupid behavior.

Reply from Sami: SHUT UP you miserable babyswitcher. My son can do no wrong!! I HATE you!

Reply from Sonny: OMG, this ridiculous blame game is still going on. I'm glad that I'm in Paris so I don't have to see it in person. Gotta go. I'm off to a great cafe for lunch.

Reply from Will: No, Sonny, you know you'd rather be here with me. Remember how great lunch was at Club TBD. Please come back to me now! Baby Arianna and I haven't stopped crying since you left! :cry:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top