Random Thoughts of Salemites, Part 2

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Sami: I wonder if stoopid Belle will ever blurt out the truth about doodyhead Stefano's lost millions. Nah, even she's not that dumb.

Ava: Now that I'm back in Salem, I'll need a disguise. I've got it. How about looking like Andre DiMera. Nobody would ever go near him.

Rafe: How did I ever get into this mess? I'm now telling more lies than Andre.

Salem Inn guest: I've got to check out that brochure on what to do in Salem. Based on this town's reputation, it's sure to make interesting reading.

Andre: Calling Hope a murderous harpy and Hernandez her lovelorn poodle was a really good line. I'm getting better at one-liners than that old fool Victor Kiriakis. Father would be so proud.
 
Club Victor bartender: Should I be serving this drunken .... Oh, whatever.

Andre: It's unbelievable. Hernandez and Hope are bigger liars than any DiMera. Who knew?

Jenny: Gotta heat-up frozen pizza, gotta take some pills, where's Ciara, gotta take some ....

Belle: Yep, that sorry loser Eric's getting 3-14 yrs. Too bad. Well, forget him, it's off to spend some "Sami money" at the Baron's jewelry counter.
 
Philip: Why is Dad being so tough on me? He's made plenty of mistakes, like hiring Ian McAllister and marrying Vivian Alamain and Nicole Walker.

Steve: Kayla come back, Kayla come back, Kayla come back, Kayla ....

Nicole: Was lying to Theresa and then chasing after Brady a good idea? Sure, why not. It's no dumber than a lot of other things that the writers have made me do.

Dario: Is there nowhere in the country where a person is not at risk of running into somebody from Salem?

Marlena: OMG, am I wrong or is Belle even more irresponsible than Sami?
 
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Caroline: When is that awful woman who caused the death of my Shawn going to face justice?

Andre: Hmm, Chase seems to like my advice. Maybe, I could start a new career as a life coach for teens.

Victor: This is great. Now that my club is the first choice of dysfunctional Salemites who want to drown their sorrows profits are way up.

JJ: OMG, Roman just let that wanted criminal, Ava, walk? Maybe all those stories about the Salem P.D. being a joke are true.

California beach-goer: Hey, there's some guy rescuing a drowning woman over there. What gives?? That's the job of David Hasselhoff and his fellow Baywatch lifeguards.

Theo: Hmm, I have to shovel snow today. What to wear? Ah, a light jacket ought to be OK.
 
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Summer: If these two women don't stop bickering, I'm going to lose what's left of my mind.

JJ: OMG, I let a suspect get away. Rats, now I'm just as incompetent as any of my fellow officers.

Roman: I don't know. Andre murdering Stefano doesn't make sense, doesn't make sense, doesn't make ....

Kayla: Ah, Ava has left town. We're safe at last.

Joey: How can I be mad at Dad? He used to be a cool guy, and now he's such a pathetic mess.
 
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Joey (about the girl on the park bench): She's still at Salem High? She must be a bigger slacker than I am. She looks old enough to be at Salem U.'s law school.

Brady (after hearing about Summer's family history): Wait a minute. Something's fishy. I thought Daniel found out that he was Maggie's perfect egg-baby after he came to live in Salem.

Victor: Brady went to California? I just hope he doesn't pick up another crazy tart.

Ghost Mrs. Jonas: When my son met people and said that Maggie Kiriakis was his "mother," how come he never mentioned me? After all, I did raise him.

Roman: Should I cuff Ava to the bed? Nah, there's no way she'll ever get away.
 
Claire: OMG, Ciara's putting her shoes on Grandma Alice's sacred chair!

Deimos: Thank God for Victor's dysfunctional children. Maybe I should bail out Alexandros. He might prove useful.

Steve (idly recalling the lyrics of the old Leo Sayer song, I Love You More Than I Can Say, and thinking of Ava while trying to fall asleep on the Johnson couch: "Wo-oh yay yay, hate you more than I can say. I'll hate you twice as much tomorrow. Wo-oh, hate you more than I can say."
 
Dr. Seth Malcolm: Won't they be surprised to see me again.

Deimos: After I saved Caroline, maybe I should have asked her to whip up a nice bowl of chowder for me.

Chad: Could Andre be telling the truth. Nah, the guy couldn't speak the truth if his life depended on it.

Rafe: Good grief. I've told so many lies that if I was Pinocchio, my nose would stretch half-way across Salem.

Joey: OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG ....
 
Ghost Stefano: Ah, Chad has taken my portrait to the library. Maybe, he should hang on the wall of his baby's nursery, yes?

Pill-Popping Jenny: Hmm, did Abigail say that she was marrying Chad this week ... or was it Ben? And where did she say it would be held -- the DiMera mansion, St. Luke's, or the Salem tunnels?

Belle: Well, I certainly told that Roman about Steve's case. He and that idiot Justin will soon learn that I'm a hard-nosed defense lawyer and not just another pretty face.

Mr. Burns: Wow, Jennifer actually came to work today and put in long hours. And she's learned that my first name is "Seth." I probably should give her a raise.

Long-time fugitive Jeremy "Touch the Sky Airlines" Horton: Hey, psycho Ben has escaped. Good move, but he's even crazier than anyone thought if he goes back to Salem. That place is poison.
 
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