The News According to Sami

I'd bet $20 that that information is not known to Ms Black Brady. After all, nobody ever mentions that Belle was born Belle Brady. :)

It would also be very much like Mr Carlivati (Head Writer Ron) to have a major plot point be Claire learning about this. He loves digging up history.
 
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Isn't Claire's name Claire Brady? Shawn D. is her father, right? Or are you talking of Belle when you said "Ms. Black"?
 
Steve loses his sight. Sorry to hear about this, but at least Mr. Patch won't have to look at John Black's ugly mug.

Hope flees to Hong Kong. Old Granny Hope should stay there with stoopid Belle. Hong Kong's loss is Salem's gain.

Paul Narita seeks dirt on Vivian Alamain. If this poor kid is anything like his father, doodyheaded John Black, he couldn't find a pink elephant in the Town Square.

Sonny trysts with Leo. Whoever this Leo is, he should run for his life. Getting involved with the insipid Kiriakis twerp is the road to perdition. Just ask my Will.

Will gets a job as a reporter at the Spectator. This rag is owned by awful Adrienne and jerky Jenny. It's not nearly good enough for my brilliant son. He's Chicago Tribune material at the very least.

Eric trysts with Jenny. :sick::sick::sick: The Bad Twin with trampy Abigail's very stoopid mother? :sick::sick::sick:
 
Kate disapproves of Lucas's relationship with Chloe: The vicious old hag was dead wrong about me not being the catch of the century for my Lucas, but she's right on target about the gross unsuitability of cheatin' Chloe.

Kate shoots Vivian: Why did Kate need a pistol to do the job? One up-close blast of the old crone's dragon's breath would have dropped Vivian in her tracks.

Xander leaves Chloe in Mexico. This was a good move. No risky heroics will be needed to get the unfaithful diva and her cleavage out of Mexico. After a week with this blithering airhead, Mateo the drug lord will be begging Salem to take her back.

Roman is offered a job with Black Patch: My Daddy should stay far, far away from that outfit. It would tarnish his brilliant crime-fighting reputation. Steve, Paul, and life-ruining John are the laughingstocks of the private investigations business.

Abigail sheds her alters: Big woop. The basic, original Abigail wasn't anything to write home about. Insipid Jenny's idiot daughter is basically an unbalanced man-stealing tramp who should be kept in the Deveraux attic.
 
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Sonny's romp with Leo: So now the little snot is cavorting on top of furniture. Perhaps, he should compare notes with stoopid John Black about how "luv" antics on a desktop compare with those performed on a tabletop.

Shirtless Xander: This guy may look quite good without his shirt and is doing a fine job of zinging self-righteous losers like Adrienne, Justin, Jenny, and the Bad Twin, but he still can't compare with my darling, changed smoochy-moochy. My brilliant, handsome EJ is the whole package.

Will finds Rolf's secret notes: That's my boy. He's so smart. He gets it from his marvelous mother.

Brady's love dilemma: This poor hunk really can pick 'em. For him, it's just one tramp after another. That said, it's not all really his fault. Since I'm already taken, Brady is forced to pick over fourth-rate leftovers.
 
Chloe saves John and Paul. OMG, another new low for the life-ruiner -- saved by the trampy diva. He should give up on this amateur secret agent nonsense and join old Granny Hope at the Salem Senior Center.

Victor fires Sonny. Woo hoo. What goes around comes around for twerpy, insipid Sonny. I guess grouchy Victor isn't as senile as I thought.

Gabi exonerated. It's good to see that my Rafe's little sister has been saved from trampy Abigail's vile lies. Ranting Jenny's wacky daughter is a bigger danger to Salem than dear old Stefano ever was. And that really is a fact.

The Tater Tot factor. Good grief, foolish Brady is going back to that trampy Jeannie Theresa Donovan just because she's the mother of his allegedly cute son, Tater Tot Black. Sorry, but the only good thing she ever did was whack stoopid John Black over the head with a fireplace poker. P.S., Tater Tot has his merits, but is not nearly as cute as my darling boy children: Little Jack Horner, Peter Piper, Simple Simon, and Georgie Porgie.
 
Will and Sonny try their hand at body snatching. OMG, now that wretched Sonny is getting my Will involved in criminal activity. If Will gets in trouble, I can assure you that the Kiriakis twerp will be in for a world of hurt. I HATE him!

Marlena and John plan their latest wedding. Good grief, how many times can poor Mom make the same mistake? I hope they don't send me an invitation because I certainly won't be attending.

Kayla spies on Kate. It should be easy for Kayla to get the goods on that horrid hag. Granny Kate is like Pig Pen in the Peanuts cartoons. She leaves a trail of dirt wherever she goes.

Hope worries that Ciara is with Ben. Old Granny Hope should get a grip. Based on what I've heard (and I hear everything), Ciara is better off with Ben than with her senile mother. Ben actually cooks tasty meals for Ciara, which is far more than her mother ever did. (If others hadn't feed her, Ciara would have been grazing in garbage cans to get a meal.)
 
Sami's rage at virtually everyone in Salem has reached new heights.:angry::angry::angry::angry:

Rafe: How could he arrest me? A relationship with old Granny Hope must have fried his brain.

Hope: I'll bet that the senile old crone wants me in jail because she knows that I'll find Kristen first. In fact, Hope and her cops are so dumb that they couldn't find a pink elephant in the Town Square. Things have really gone downhill since Daddy retired.

Kristen: When I'm done with this creature, she'll look like she's been through a shredder. And if she thinks that she can get away on her collapsible broom, she's sadly mistaken. My broom is bigger and faster than hers.

Belle: Can you believe the nasty, vicious mouth on this one? Now maybe everyone will understand why I tried to sell her when she was a baby.

Eric: What a clumsy oaf. If the stoopid Bad Twin hadn't intervened, Mom would be fine. In fact, I just might have used that gun to shoot Kristen full of holes.

Brady: Where does this dolt get off lecturing my Will about Paul? Anyone who is so dense that they almost married Kristen should keep his big fat mouth shut.
 
Sami has taken time out from caring for Mummy EJ to comment on recent Salem events.

Eric punches Brady. The Bad Twin has serious anger management problems. Mom should get her loser son into a therapy program ASAP.

Eric seeks custody of Holly. OMG, what a joke. My loser twin doesn't have the skills to care for a gerbil. If poor little Holly needs a guardian, it should be me -- Salem's best mother.

Abigail is in a padded cell. This tramp did deserve punishment for causing my darling EJ to cheat, but this is a little much. By this time, just being herself is punishment enough for stoopid Abby.

Rafe waits in the Horton cabin for Hope and her suspected lover. I always said that my Rafe was way too good for old Granny Hope. He should just walk out and leave the doddering antique with her new fancy man (who must be a total idiot or totally desperate).

Finally, rumors that I'm neglecting my children to care for my darling smoochy-moochy are vile slander. I give my children the best care. That's why I always had the good sense to leave them with Grandma Caroline. P.S., I most definitely do not bring my mummy-wrapped EJ to the dinner table. He's fed his EJ-chow by a specialist nurse.
 
I think it should be added to the pub menu, along with the Brady burgers, clam chowder, Wanchai Ferry, Choco-Puffs, breakfast burritos and garbage can nachos.
 
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